downside to outliving people

[leatherman]

Waking up today, blearily-eyed I glanced at my tablet on the nightstand. Like every year before, there was a calendar notice – the anniversary of Jim’s death. My stupid brain decided it was awake enough to do some math figuring up how long it’s been since that fateful day in 2008.

Sixteen years. OMG It was sixteen years after Randy’s death when I started dating Larry and I couldn't believe how long Randy had been gone. Now I almost couldn’t believe it's been that long since I lost Jim. Then I calculated some more and realized later this month on the 25th it’ll be 30 years since Randy passed away.

While I certainly don’t mind being a Long Term Survivor (40 yrs this December!), there’s a downside to outliving the people I love – sadness. While I handle it pretty well most of the time, I sure hate the way it can sneak up on you when you're least expecting it.

So today I looked through all the old pictures, remembered all the good times (especially all the pool parties), and then went out to drain and clean the pool up after winter, so I can start filling it up tomorrow.

[Jim Allen]

Sending you hugs.