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Need Some Advice

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thanks for help:
Hi...this is a really good community, i have read a lot of the posts here and it is very helpful.  I am hetero, married.  I had two encoutners over the last month (year, actually).  The first - i was having a massage and the girl gave me a handjob - and started to give me a blowjob.  The whole thing was over very quickly.  The second was a month later with a non-professional, we had intercourse, I used a condom and there was no break.  Should I get testing for these two incidents and when?

I am freaking out and probably inventing all kinds of things in my head.

Also, the second was with a girl that I like.  I am married and I do not wish to bring any thing into my home, but at the same time i would like to explore - safely.  How do i do this and take risk to zero?

I urge you to read the transmission lessons on this forum.

thanks for help:
so what does that mean, really?  No need to test?  Zero risk?  the internet is a great tool, but there is a lot of information out there.  I know you probably get tired of answering the same questions, but given these two scenarios, is the risk 1 in 100,000 or physicaly impossible?

If you read the LESSONS section, your questions will be answered. I worry that if I respond to your specific concern without your getting a full STD/HIV education, then you will continue to concern yourself over no-risk moments. You know, give a man to fish, he eats for a day and all that.

thanks for help:
i read them and it seems like empirically there is no risk although there is theoretical risk, albeit approaching zero.  It also suggests when in doubt, get tested.  The mind is a powerful thing when it has things suggested to it, I have been absolutely freaking out and imagining lots of different things.  I will get the test at the 2 week point and again at the 3 month point.

I don't think these can be qualified as "no risk" though, although you probably know a great deal more than I do.  I think at best they can be quantified as very low risk.  I've looked at some of the studies cited on this and while they are compelling, I don't think they can absolutely rule out the highly slim chance it could be transmitted in those two very common hetero scenarios.  For example - the studies on transmission via intercourse where a condom is used.  Is it an absolute certainty that these result from condom malfunction?  Because I have not seen any doctor say anywhere that if you have intercourse and the condom is fully intact there is zero risk.

Second, on the oral scenario - i have read some places that transmission requires non-saliva fluids by the giver and an open cut/sore by the receiver of the blowjob.  I had not cuts or sores nor did i see any non-saliva fluids in her mouth or on me afterwards.  So in that scenario is there actual science that says transmission is impossible?

Thanks for your help


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