A big THANK YOU to the forum

[LearningGuy]

My story is pretty standard. I met a guy last week who told me he is HIV+, that he is undetectable, and that he is on meds (which apparently reduces risk of transmission by 96%?). I gave him a pretty anticlimactic blowjob (he didn't get too hard, I might have tasted pre-cum, no ejaculation in any orifice).

Anyway, I've been stressing about it for days, going over each and every detail of our encounter. I got especially paranoid when I brushed my teeth the next day and my gums bled. Consequently, I stopped eating and got physically sick from anxiety. I contemplated paying for an Early Detection test just so I didn't have to wait 6 weeks and then 12 weeks. The information out there is confusing: some said low-risk, other's said moderate risk, and the CDC got me all KINDS of paranoid. But I stumbled upon this forum and the clear message of "oral sex is not a documented risk" gave me peace.

I still plan on getting tested at the end of this month and July, but only because I realize I SHOULD be doing that anyway. Thanks for the work you do.

[RapidRod]

You never had an exposure. Saliva contains over a dozen different enzymes and proteins that inhibits HIV transmission.

[LearningGuy]

Thanks! I appreciate the information.

[Ann]

Guy,

Yeah, the CDC is ALL about paranoia when it comes to hiv. It's a shame that they're so stubbornly backward in this regard - their information is usually pretty good when hiv isn't being discussed.

You are correct - as a sexually active adult, you should be having a complete sexual health check up at least once a year. Twice is better if you're active with more than one or two partners - or if they are also active with others. This is by no means a judgement - it's a simple fact that the more active you are, the more chance you have of being unwittingly exposed to an STI.

You need to know that some of these STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms and some can also be easily transmitted orally. Syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia are notorious in both regards. As symptoms aren't always present or obvious, the only way to know for sure is to test. If you like to give blowjobs, you'd be wise to get an oral swab for gonorrhea. Oral gono has been on the rise for a few years now.

Provided you're always using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return negative results. At the risk of being repetitive, make sure you also test for all the other MUCH more easily transmitted STIs as well. This is important!

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!! Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

One last thing - chances are this guy wasn't the first hiv positive person you've been in contact with. Far too many people don't know they're hiv positive and will honestly believe they're hiv negative, so you can't go by what a guy tells you. Unfortunately, some will lie. This guy you were with was honest with you - and I hope you repay his respect towards you with respect towards him. He didn't put you at risk.

Use condoms for intercourse and you won't have to worry about people who do not accurately know their status and you won't have to worry about the minority who will lie. OK? Good.

Ann