need encouragement

[Canadaguy]

   Its been a week since I tested positive. I seem to be able to distract myself periodically but the knot in my stomach and my heart is always there ..... cant face people, cant find joy in the things I could before ..... not feeling great about the future ..... seeing happy people makes me sad. I know I cant give up ..... im only 31. But the idea of not waking up ... not feeling this pain is appealing. I really need some encouragement right now. I would like to know about how life can be good again, how people cope and how you can still plan for a future. want some good news please.

[Inchlingblue]

I found out in August 2008 and felt the exact same way that you do, you're describing it perfectly. I can tell you, at least for me, it does get better. There are several very good, effective drugs available now that were not available just a few years ago and treatment options are only bound to get better. That doesn't mean it's a walk in the park and no big deal. You do have to take care of yourself, be adherent, etc. In the last few months I've gotten very informed about as many aspects of HIV as I possibly can and the more I know the better I feel about the whole thing. Are you in Canada? Do you have access to free or low cost medical care and the latest medications? It's definitely not a death sentence. Hang in there.

[rpm1437gcw]

  hey there a few words of encouragement for u.   I have been poz for 12 years this coming august, i felt the same way at the time.  how to tell those you love but that will come in time.  I found out over the past 12 years that life can be good no matter the cross we bare.  I even prayed for it not to happen.  My family is behind me and i have even found a new love we have been 9 years and he understand and we give strength to one another.  he is neg.  as one that has been there i can say it gets better.  u will have tough spots but you will survive this.  if you can find support groups in the area this site will allow that through  a postal code search if you can access that part.  this here itself can be of help.  eventhough i am new to this site i know it will help myself and other.  Keep your head up for if not you will miss a beautiful day.  we are here for each other.  check out others words on long term survivors.  may god bless you and heighten the strength within you. 

[positivmat]

You do describe this perfectly. 5 weeks since my diagnosis. I feel like you some days. But to make myself feel better (I don't know if this will work for you). I tried to think of it today like I would if I lost my right hand or some appendage. I think I would give myself so much more slack. I started thinking that I have so much more about me that I can afford to lose one aspect of myself. I try to think about handicapped people who don't have the use of their legs or something else. Oddly, I hate to admit that prior to my diagnosis, I used to think of the disabled as less of a person. But I know a few disabled people who keep going despite their disabilities. They are a great inspiration to me. I also read autobiographies of people whose lives I think were worse than mine and how they overcame their problems. Just that you are reaching out is good. It means that you value your relationship to the rest of humanity. I think that means deep down you know that you are greater than this virus. If you ever want to talk, let me know. I wish you comfort.