POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: milker on September 25, 2007, 11:39:50 pm
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And no insurance.
His CD4 count: 234.
With a count like this I believe he's been infected for some time. He tells me that his last test was 5 years ago. The syphilis rash made him go to the hospital for 12 days on IV, loss of vision for a couple of days.
He has no idea of his VL and just heard his CD4, he never got any paperwork showing test results from the hospital.
I know ADAP can help but it will take some months before he can get treatment. Until then, I'm not sure what are his options to at least get his blood tests done, get his counts and go from there? There is a place called "The Center" in san diego for gay people and i'm sure they can help, but I'd like to understand what are his options, or maybe I should go there with him?
He had millions of questions about HIV and AIDS, so I tried to explain to him what this count meant, what is the Viral load etc.. He's a bit overwhelmed but I think I convinced him that he cannot wait anymore and needs to get care.
Since his has no money, he's still dealing. That's sad but so real.
Milker.
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He should go to an ASO, get a case manager, and learn of local resources that may provide lab tests and medical services regardless of the ability to pay. Many clinics do so. The ASO will know where to go. Plus they will have the paperwork for ADAP and can hopefully expedite it if needed -- here in PA they can authorize an emergency supply of meds for 30 days while the forms are processed and in place by the 2nd month.
If he's too strung out etc. to handle it alone just go with him and take a book for the waiting room. I will refrain from making comments about knowing hookers.
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Thanks Philly. I told him that The Center should know the ASO then go from there. I looked at the paperwork for ADAP with him and he's definitely eligible but I was not sure about the time it takes for processing.
Milker.
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maybe he's a rugby player?
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maybe he's a rugby player?
???
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"commercial sex worker," please. Just describe it objectively, "hooker" carries a lot of judgment.
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Milker, any good ASO can help him out and they can help him with ADAP or Ryan White paper work. He'll probably need to file for medicaid too or what ever it's called in California. It's great that you are offering to help him. He'll grow to appreciate you just like we have.
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I suggest his contacting either GMHC 212 337 1519 or Callen Lordre 212 271 7200 since they both provide services. Might save some steps for him in getting hooked up faster with various that would be essential for him.
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Thank you I'm waiting for him to show up, hopefully today, he only has voicemail as a way of contact. Thanks all for the good suggestions.
Milker.
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Milker
Go to Being Alive in our neighborhood, I got my ADAP the same hour that I was there. You might have to make an appointment with a case counselor but in his case, you might not have to.
Where in the hood did you find this poor lost soul?
t
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any news about your friend? I hope he is doing better and got his ADAP sorted out.
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Thanks for enquiring.. no news..
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Family Health Care Ciaccio Clinic on 30th in North Park 619-515-2587. they will do all the paper work and treat him there.
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I used to be a solicitor, thats probably where i got this from. Hope your friend finds all the help he needs Milker, sounds like you are there for him so it must make it easier for him...Hoping he gets treatment soon....
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Ah, "solicitor" -- is THAT what that job position is called now?
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yes Philly..lol it sounds professional. ;D
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Commendably so
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Let me get some cash i'll brb :)
Milker.
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Ricky has a layaway service.
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Ahh, milker has a heart of gold :)
Dude, it's awesome you are helping this lad out. hopefully he steers clear of the meth, i just lost a friend to meth & hiv (although i didnt know until after his funeral he was poz). I have an appointment tomorrow at a local clinic. The time line for my appointments with doctors, counselors, etc was about 2 weeks. everything is paid for (supposedly) and i can get you more information as this progresses. i am in a different county but i do live in so cal too. you have a host of phone numbers already in the previous posts, but if you need another one or would like me to do in specific research at my center please let me know. i go in again tomorrow.
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>>>>>>BIG HUG MILKER<<<<<<<< You deserve it dude...it's nice to see compassion and a helping hand still around. :-*
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Well I got news from him.
He did nothing. Didn't see a doctor. Is ignoring his condition.
I offered to go with him to a community clinic and pay for the visit but he refused.
I don't know what to do.
Milker.
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Sorry, but there is nothing more that you can do other than let the guy know that you will be there for him if he ever decides that he actually wants to help himself.
Honestly, you seem to have done everything that you could have done.
You also need to think of yourself and figure out what you need to do in order to handle something which is clearly very painful for you. If you can continue to be there for the guy without it hurting you too much then by all means go ahead and do it. I was in a similar situation recently and eventually came to the conclusion that I really wasn't helping the other person (as demonstrated by the fact that his situation had not changed for the better and was, in fact, getting worse) but that I was hurting myself - a lot - I dealt with that the only way that I knew how - I ended the relationship and moved on - it wasn't easy, but 6 months on I know that it was the right thing to do.
You need to decide for yourself what you need to do, but you must remember that no matter what happens, you are *not* responsible for this person, and if something badhappens to him it is *not* your fault.
Good luck dealing with this, it is going to be hard.
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Well I talked to him online a bit more.
His last message was "I don't want to be a lab rat. what tests were u talking about.... i have a fucked up head, and have issues.i dont think ill be able to focus on so many things at once. i have a chemical deppendancy addiction, i have psychiatric issues, i have no home, no money to get through with evryday.... people are wrong, REHAB, is not for me.... i dont know what to do"
I think I can help with the HIV tests but I don't think I can help with the drug problem. What should I do? I have no experience at all with drug addicts. How can I help him?
Milker.
/edited to add/
After few more exchanges he agreed to come to my place tomorrow to discuss about a plan.
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hi milker
that's good that he will stop by tomorrow and see you. It's a good step in the right direction. But don't expect much. I suspect he needs to hit rock-bottom before he'll do anything but that's why it's important you keep reaching out now. when he does get to that point, he's really going to need a friend.
robert
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After few more exchanges he agreed to come to my place tomorrow to discuss about a plan.
:o
Mike M
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Well I talked to him online a bit more.
His last message was "I don't want to be a lab rat. what tests were u talking about.... i have a fucked up head, and have issues.i dont think ill be able to focus on so many things at once. i have a chemical deppendancy addiction, i have psychiatric issues, i have no home, no money to get through with evryday.... people are wrong, REHAB, is not for me.... i dont know what to do"
I think I can help with the HIV tests but I don't think I can help with the drug problem. What should I do? I have no experience at all with drug addicts. How can I help him?
Milker.
/edited to add/
After few more exchanges he agreed to come to my place tomorrow to discuss about a plan.
Milker, don't give him any monetary gifts. You'll be putting your money in his veins or up his nose. Addicts are the best cons there are. They can also make excuses for everything, even the weather, if you give them half a chance. You always have to be on your guard and stay one step ahead of them.
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All I can say is be careful, careful, careful. I'd hate hear he fooled you into helping support his illness or robbed you.
Or both...
Addiction makes people do nasty things.
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Thanks for your concern, I realize there should be no money involved in this, and I got good news today.
I enquired around today and he's eligible for Ryan White care, the two ASO people I talked with urged me to get him registered and checked up asap. However, he's not showed up and hasn't read my email. He's homeless, emailless, phoneless so that doesn't help, he will only see my emails when he connects from a friend's house.
So it's a good thing he can get free care and ADAP. It's just a question of finding him and convince him to do it. I'm not giving up!!
Milker.
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I told you this 4 months ago.
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In DC we call these guys fraggles...homeless meth heads that steal as easily as have sex. Please be careful milker....you are a nice guy and I have been in your shoes trying to get a meth addict help. The only way in the end is to commit them to a hospital I found. I went to NA meetings with him, gave him a place to stay, tried everything to help. In the end, I had to literally kick him out and I don't know what all he did while he was staying there. Don't put any money into this, and don't leave your lap top out. I commend you for trying, but don't get yourself hurt.
Matt
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His body aches and fatigue sets in quickly when he's not indulging.
Buy him a hot meal. If he's broke and in between fixes then you just may discover he has an appetite since most of the time it would be blocked by the chemicals. His nutritionally deficient body will be thrilled to get a meal. His mind wants to get high. His body wants food.
Don't overdo the coercions to get himself some help. Keep in mind he's addicted not stupid. (Some folks would have you believe they are one and the same but I disagree. People give up or get caught up in drugs for a variety of reasons.) Sometimes, just chatting and being company without pressure is enough to win his confidence in you. He's likely expecting you to use him in one way or another.
Don't expect him to fail but don't be too disappointed if he lets you down either. i.e.: Doesn't' show up for a scheduled appointment. Yes, it's possible that he could steal your brand new laptop........but only if you let it happen.........so don't leave him in your apartment alone while you go off to work or go off on a task like walking Bonnie.
Mike M
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Success! He asked me if he could come over today and he stayed with me for 4 hours. I fed him, and you're right, he definitely needed to eat.. he ate so much..!
So I have him registered at UCSD Clinic, and we're going on wednesday to get him apply for Ryan White. He's got two appointments one after the other, one for the Ryan White application, one with a doctor. So I'm pleased this happened. He promised me he would show up at my place on wednesday to take him there. I hope this will work.
He reminded me that he has sex for money, I reminded him i'm don't offer money for sex, that I'm here to help him with HIV and I will not help him with anything else. That seemed to have registered. I just gave him a pack of cigs when he left.
Milker.
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pixplzthx
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milker, don't set yourself up for a fall. If he doesn't show up on Wednesday don't get to disappointed. You have made one step. He knows he can come to see you if he needs food, so he'll be back. Don't get pissed if he blows off Wednesday. It's a slow row to hoe and sometimes you will feel what's the use, but always remember to stay one step ahead of him until he gets the help he needs and gets his life going in the right direction. You're a great guy, and I'm sure he will see that in you too.
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Milker, just a word of caution. You're dealing with your own issues right now also and that should come first in your life. Get him pointed in the right direction, but don't try to be his saviour. He knows where to go if/when he needs the help. Just take care of yourself, young man. ;)
Luv you-
Betty
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So he showed up on time today. He got enrolled in Ryan White in less than 10 minutes. His CD4s were in 234 and his VL 280000 in Sept. He also got neuro-syphilis, he went for treatment as inpatient for 2 weeks back in sept but left the hospital after a week. He also learned that he his HSV-1 AND HSV-2. So basically the full monty.
The doctor tried to convince him to finish the inpatient course to treat the neurosyphilis (he lost vision in one eye some time ago but after the first week of treatment it came back). He really didn't want to go back to the hospital and couldn't make a decision. After a couple of hours talking to him I finally convinced him to agree to go on friday morning. Hopefully he will go, I think he will, he doesn't want to be blind, it's only a week, and they can do all the blood work necessary for HIV meds at the same time.
He and I kinda gasps when the doctor said "although you are were not under 200 CD4s in september, but this is January and given your OIs I must qualify you as an AIDS patient". He kinda went blank on that one.
Of course the doctor told him that he had to stop drugs to help with the adherence but this is too early to talk about adherence I think, he will see a social worker soon that will explain to him how meds work, what is adherence, etc.
Rapid, you were right, he eats a lot when he comes over. I make sure I have something for him to eat now. He sleeps a lot too..
Milker.
I feel sad, he's only 23 yo (not 25 as I thought). It's not going to be easy.
Milker.
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You know Milker, you might want to check out some Nar-Anon meetings (Narcotics Anonymous' Al-Anon). You have things going on with you. Don't lose yourself in this guy. We're all ultimately responsible for ourselves. Nice that you're helping him so much though. You're a sweetie.
Luv you-
Betty
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Betty,
I had a private discussion with the doctor while he was out smoking a cig. I was clear that I will do all I can to get his Syphilis cleared and HIV counts & treatment started, but there is nothing I can possibly do for drug addiction, for 2 reasons. 1) I already have my own alcohol addiction to work with 2) I know nothing about drugs so I don't know what is his life with drugs, and feel that I am the least educated person on this to be able to help him.
I also don't want to push everything at the same time. When I promised him that I wouldn't put him in a hospital, I was thinking about rehab, but I had to convince him today to go inpatient for syphilis. He was not happy to start with but after a couple of hours realized that the two were independent and that he'd better go get the Syphilis treated or he would be in serious physical health problems very rapidly, and that this treatment didn't have all the "consequences" of stopping drugs.
Milker.
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Ok sweetness, just take care of yourself. You know I think about you. :-*
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Good Luck buddy. I hope you can help him...I was thinking about you today, wondering what had happened. I hope he makes it into the hospital or who knows what is going to happen. I can tell you that the drug addiction isn't easy to fix, I tried with a friend of mine and it didn't work. Yeah I talked about that earlier in this thread. I hope it does work for you.
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Milker,
I know how hard it is to tear yourself away from someone who needs help... but for your own sake, don't go there. Betty pointed out you have issues too, they won't get better if you immerse yourself now with this guy. I know I come off as all clean cut & goody goody in these forums, but i have been involved with my share of addicts. You are going in way over your head, the only way this can end is heartache or worse. Sorry to be so pessimistic, I usually am not, but I am concerned about you.
Maybe the reason you are so focused on saving this guy is that you see yourself there, but it's time to reach out to yourself, seriously. Some things are beyond our scope, as painful as that is. I just ask you to look within yourself and ask this question sincerily: can I really help X, and I am doing what I should be doing for me right now? You have done wonderfully by pointing him in all the right directions, thanks to you he is elligable for care. But now I think you should let go. The energy you spend speculating if he will agree to get treatment should be spent on yourself, b/c I think you're at a critical point.
Sorry is this is unpleasant. I say it as someone who has stepped too far to help others. There are good causes, and lost causes. You are not a lost cause so you'd better help yourself, once you deal with your addiction, there will be many addicts that you can help. But they will have to want that help.
Best of luck to you,
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Milk,
Glad to hear things are looking up for the boy and, by extension, for you. Having hustled and done drugs and contracted syphilis back in the day, I can certainly understand why the kid checked himself out after a week--he needed to use....at least my S was primary. Still, it seems that exposure to some sanity is letting him realize that the untreated syphilis will lead to insanity and death if left untreated.
Rather than cautioning you to keep from getting too caught up in fixing the kid, I would remind you that whatever his choices are for treatment from here on, they are no reflection on you. You are a good man for giving him the tools, whether he soars or crashes.
Namaste,
David
P.S. let me be the judge of whether your ass is stupid or not <EG>
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ok so he's back in the hospital for 2 weeks, to clear the neurosyphilis, he's on IV 4 million units of penicillin!!!!!!!
He came over at my place to eat & sleep. Apparently this is the "after-high crash" that makes them sleep for 72 nonstop. I've never seen anyone sleep that much but then again i'm not used to drug addicts.
They put him on restriced access, because he has some infection they're not sure what it is yet.. So to visit him, mask & gloves. It's insane!
He seems upbeat, I bought him a pc so he can watch dvds.
His "visit" will cost $54000. What I find disgusting is that we have to wait for people to be dying before we give them care. Like one member told me in private "He's lucky his CD4s are so low and he has no income because he will get free care". It's insane.
Milker.
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Good man, glad you are helping him and it is working out. I got myself into a situation kinda similar again. Guy moved here, does drugs, turns tricks...etc. I took him to Whitman Walker...he got tested and it came back positive. Its tough, he has no money, staying with someone I find unstable. I am trying now to help him find a job. I let him use my address in DC for the clinic because DC residents get more things than Virginia residents do. Surprise.
I hope all goes well for you friend. Keep us posted :)
Matt
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OK sweetie, so he's in the hospital. He's safe for now. How are you doing?
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I'm doing great ! :)
He just got his HIV results..
CD4: 23
VL > 1 million
He's applied for ADAP. He's upbeat and considering going to drug rehab after the hospital. He admits he gets better food & care in institutions than in the street..
Milker.
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You are quite the Florence Nightingale, Milker. :-* Good luck to you and your friend.
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You are quite the Florence Nightingale, Milker. :-* Good luck to you and your friend.
I'm sure I could come up with a less appealing description than Florence if I think hard enough.
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Any updates? How is the young man doing?
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yeah dude, any updates? this has been an intriguing thread.
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I myself am a magnet for dug addicts and alcoholics. I am amazed that you have accomplished anything for him as when I would be an 'angel of mercy' if they were a drug addict and still using....they would be shown the door and' let it hit you on the way out'. Things have really changed.
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Wow. If he's a writer, in five years, he can make a fortune telling his story. It needs to be told.
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who? the hooker? I can assure you that he's not a writer. And at present he's not in any location where one is encourage to possess a sharp pencil.
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who? the hooker? I can assure you that he's not a writer. And at present he's not in any location where one is encourage to possess a sharp pencil.
<---starts writing memoir