I'm in a band! A real one this time!

[aupointillimite]

Unlike all those fake bands I was in... like Teabag and the Hos... and Johnny Fuck and the Fuck Fucks... and Damaged Goods... and Stack!! (known for the hit single "Put Your Back Into That Stack!! Like You're On Crack!").  This one is actually a real bona fide band and everything. 

The Naked Maids.  We're kind of no wave and experimental. 

I play the organ and keyboard.  My friend Jim plays the guitar and is probably gonna do the vocals... and my best friend Jennie (who is married to Jim) is gonna play the bass and make awesome band flyers.  We started doing some music stuff in Charleston and will be really getting into it when they move in Richmond in April. 

And my name in the band is Savage Trainface Blowmaster.  I am greatly looking forward to this.

We already have the songs "Johnny Mathis and Brandy," "Two O'Clock Drunk," "Pissing on a Rainbow," and "I Do It for the Kicks" in the works. 

Oh yes.

Oh God, yes.

[marco23]

HOW EXCITING!!
I would love to hear your music.....and when your record comes out - I'm first for everyone to autograph it!

[Jeffreyj]

Awesome Benj, it is nice to see you are living your dreams! Good for you, and best of luck! You are an inspiration.

[Queen Tokelove]

OMG..Where the hell did you come up with those names? Are you a punk group? And can I just call you STB? It's easier to remember... Hmm, Pissing on a Rainbow...Do you think of these things while in a coke or acid haze? J/K....How about this one, Shitting on a Cloud....sorry, couldn't resist, just smoked a doobie....Congrats on the new band...

[Boo Radley]

Has amazon.com put up the pre-order page yet?  I want to be first in line.

Is "Pissing on a Rainbow" a tribute to Judy Garland?  Liza?  Lorna?

Boo

[aupointillimite]

Is "Pissing on a Rainbow" a tribute to Judy Garland?  Liza?  Lorna?

No.  We're making fun of hippies.   

And Queen... I actually really like "Shitting on a Cloud."  A lot.

Shout out in the liner notes for a certain Queen Akasha!

[mrtallguy]

Hey Benj...a BIG congrats to ya!  I'll be visiting Richmond at the end of April so you guys better have a gig ready to go!  I'll be there waiting!!
Best of Luck...
Craig

[Queen Tokelove]

No.  We're making fun of hippies.   

And Queen... I actually really like "Shitting on a Cloud."  A lot.

Shout out in the liner notes for a certain Queen Akasha!

He likes me, he really really likes me.... ...I was just trying to be funny, you know me...But will take full credit for the name...You know how you can pay me....*wink wink*....It's green and weighs about a pound...lmao...

[aupointillimite]

He likes me, he really really likes me.... ...I was just trying to be funny, you know me...But will take full credit for the name...You know how you can pay me....*wink wink*....It's green and weighs about a pound...lmao...

"Thank you Queen Akasha for selling the intellectual rights to the name 'Shitting on a Cloud' for weed!"

It'll be great... everyone will want to know who you are... but I won't tell... 

[Longislander]

Shitting on a Cloud

You know I thought that'd be a good 2nd line in the chorus ( or whatever, I'm no music person)....


Pissin' on a rainbow,
Shitting on a cloud....

hmmm, or 'Sitting on a cloud, pissing on a rainbow'?

[Queen Tokelove]

"Thank you Queen Akasha for selling the intellectual rights to the name 'Shitting on a Cloud' for weed!"

It'll be great... everyone will want to know who you are... but I won't tell... 

Hey, Hey, Au...I don't see no weed over here buddy. I can be quite intellectual after smoking a joint, that's how I came up with it. And don't try sending me a pound of parsley or oregano.

[aupointillimite]

Hey, Hey, Au...I don't see no weed over here buddy. I can be quite intellectual after smoking a joint, that's how I came up with it. And don't try sending me a pound of parsley or oregano.

Damn.  You're good.   

I'll come up to Philly with a brick of weed for you and some coke for me.  We'll be up all night... playing video games and drinking cheap champagne! 

[thunter34]

Hmm...I'll just settle for being your top groupie.


(And don't forget that the AAI Forum is a gold mine for song and album titles!  Toothy BJ in India, Mutual Masturbation Paranoia....do I need to go on?)


I have to ask:  how did you arrive at Savage Trainface Blowmaster?

[aupointillimite]

Hmm...I'll just settle for being your top groupie.


(And don't forget that the AAI Forum is a gold mine for song and album titles!  Toothy BJ in India, Mutual Masturbation Paranoia....do I need to go on?)


I have to ask:  how did you arrive at Savage Trainface Blowmaster?

Dude... seriously... everyone in our band has an STD.  I'm poz...  and they both have herpes.  No joke.  I'll bet "Three Thrusts Unprotected" or "Toothy BJ in India" would rule.

OK... the names are something of a story... Jim is Pretzel Boy (because... well... I don't know why),  Jennie is Chesty Morgan (because she has no boobs at all), and I was gonna be Trainface (because I'm the most attractive member of the band)... but then when I managed to find coke for everyone in Charleston, I became Trainface Blowmaster.  Then, I added the Savage to the beginning... because I'm the biggest pussy in the band. 

It all makes sense.  Yes.

Edited to Add: The Blowmaster also has the added function of describing my skills at certain oral activities.   

[thunter34]

Not suprisingly, I had that last part already figured out.


EDITIED TO ADD:  Figured out on both counts.

[aupointillimite]

Not suprisingly, I had that last part already figured out.

The coke part or the head part?

I'm eclectic like that.   

[alisenjafi]

Wasn't "Shitting On A Cloud" a hit by Rose Royce? said sarcastically
Johnny-

Shittin' on a cloud
fartin' really loud

sittin on da throne
droppin another hershy cone....
Johnny

[mrtallguy]

The coke part or the head part?

I'm eclectic like that.  

eclectic is good....um....really GOOD!

[twofires]

experimental bands are the best

I was in one in Madison - 2 basses (one rhythm and me on effects bass) 1 effects guitar and one chanting/moaning guy who wrote strange things as a cab driver, graveyard shift, parked under lone street lights

we variously called ourselves The Guys From The Grassy Knoll, Zen Archer, Ummu Guyama and a few other things every time we played.

our first gig was live onstage at an open mic, I had never met the other bass player before but I knew the guitar player couldn't play 3 chords to save his life and when we took over the stage I grabbed the mic and said anybody with any lyrics was welcome to jump up onstage and help us out!

I have a recording done on the house board from that first night; about 20 minutes of weird Doors meets Pink Floyd with none of us having any clue what the others were playing, everyone just jumping in with both feet, eyes closed, and ready for anything. I was playing my bass with 2 slides, mounting ever higher loops while the whole stage was rumbling from feedback.

finally at the end of our song you can hear the 6 or so people in the bar clapping. Its kind of funny.

[Boo Radley]

No.  We're making fun of hippies.   

I am a hippie!!  Half of my tee shirts (the only kind of shirt I wear) are day-glo tie-dyed.  Even though at my current size I stand out like a small flashing planet from 50 yards I still insist on wearing them.  For me tie dying never went out of style.

Maybe your band can play a psychedelic tune or 2 like some old Beatles or the Dandy Warhols or Brian Jonestown Massacre -- and you've got to cover one or more B52s songs -- it's time to bring back the 60s and 70s!!

Tune in, turn on, drop out.  Save our planet.

Boo

[twofires]

not only am I, too, a Hippy, I am also a DeadHead and sometimes Rainbow

I don't panhandle though, I always had some kind of racket or another going: for a couple years I mined quartz crystals in Arkansas, for awhile I sold my ceramic hand drums, these days I sell lots of dildo harnesses and butt plug harnesses and slings

I'm listening to Meddle right now (if you don't know it, you are *not* a hippie!)

[aupointillimite]

AAAHHH!

Get a job, hippie!   

We don't have many hippies around here... I mean, our nickname for Richmond is "Fist City" for crying out loud.   

And if you want to see how the 60s are awesome... and how I am a huge fan of bringing the 60s (the mod part, anyway)... dig this band.

The Pipettes.

Oh yes.

[twofires]

my very first vehicle ever was a 1956 VW Microbus

I paid $25 for it in 1979

after many adventures it retired as a chicken coop on a little dairy farm in the middle of Wisconsin

[aupointillimite]

after many adventures it retired as a chicken coop on a little dairy farm in the middle of Wisconsin

I'd like to know what sort of adventures it had... tell me about it sometime.

[Ann]

I play the organ and keyboard.

You're going to play your organ in front of everyone?

Way to go with the band. My partner has been playing bass in bands since they year I was born. I've got a thing for musicans, in fact I should ask Twofires to make me a harness for it.

Ann

[twofires]

well, there is this boy from high school named Kevin, and later my first real boy friend, a Cuban refugee boy named Cecelio

and many bottles of TJ Swann and Boones Farm as we hid out in the parking lot during 6th hour while I was still in high school

[aupointillimite]

You're going to play your organ in front of everyone?

I think that's Jeromy's department!   

But I'm not above a little on-stage masturbation to increase ticket sales.   

[manchesteruk]

Ahh always good to see a fan of the pipettes.  Good luck with the band as well I tried to start a band with a few mates once until we all realised that no one could actually play any instrument with any degree of competency!

[marc11864]

Is it possible to download any of your stuff from a website or through P2P? 

[aupointillimite]

Is it possible to download any of your stuff from a website or through P2P? 

We haven't recorded anything yet.  When we do... I'll totally let everyone know.

[Queen Tokelove]

Damn.  You're good.   

I'll come up to Philly with a brick of weed for you and some coke for me.  We'll be up all night... playing video games and drinking cheap champagne! 

Hey! You're going the wrong way Au. I live 7 hours away from Philly in a little town called Erie. But if you're gonna stop in Philly, go see Philly and give him a hug for me. No champagne for me but you can grab a bottle of Arbor Mist, Whitel Zinfadel. I love that. As far as the video games, I usually play, RPGs which are one player. May I suggest you bring your own system...

[Razorbill]

Good luck to you and your organ Aupoint.  I hope you don't end up with dirty hair, bad teeth and crabs like the Doherty character.

[aupointillimite]

Good luck to you and your organ Aupoint.  I hope you don't end up with dirty hair, bad teeth and crabs like the Doherty character.

But he's so luscious!

[manchesteruk]

Pete Doherty is a scumbag he tried to sell crack to one of my friends.  He hasn't produced anything that resembles music for the last 2 years as well!

[aupointillimite]

Pete Doherty is a scumbag he tried to sell crack to one of my friends.  He hasn't produced anything that resembles music for the last 2 years as well!

I seriously think he's hot.  I'm not kidding.

Edited to Add:  My friend and I smoked crack one night... we were supposed to get coke... but she made a teensy error, and we ended up with crack.  We smoked like $100 of it in one night.  That's a rather ridiculous amount of crack, my friend.  And we listened to "Into Outer Space With Lucia Pamela" on a loop for a couple hours.

We have sworn to never smoke crack ever again.

That said... I'd totally do it with Pete Doherty... because if "Into Outer Space With Lucia Pamela" is the best album ever on that drug... then I can totally convince him to duke me out.

[manchesteruk]

He's got yellow fingers and he stinks!  Saying all this though Up the Bracket is one of my favourite albums so i'm a bit of a hypocrite!

[aupointillimite]

He's got yellow fingers and he stinks!  Saying all this though Up the Bracket is one of my favourite albums so i'm a bit of a hypocrite!

Yellow fingers and stinking are part of why I think he's attractive... I don't find these things intrinsically pleasing, mind you... just on him.

And "The Boy Looked At Johnny" is one of the coolest songs ever... and has the added benefit of being an oblique Patti Smith reference!  Huzzah for Pete Doherty!

[manchesteruk]

Time for Heroes is definately the best song on that album the lyrics are amazing: 


did you see the stylish kids in the riot
we were shovelled up like muck
set the night on fire
wombles bleed truncheons and shields
you know i cherish you my love

but there's a rumour spread nasty disease around town
caught round the houses with your trousers down
a headrush in the bush
you know i cherish you my love
how i cherish you my love

what can you want now you've got it all
she says it's obscene
time will strip it away
a year and a day
and bill bones
bill bones he knows what i mean

yes it's eating no it's chewing me up
it's not right for young lungs to be coughing up blood
oh it's all
it's all in my hands
and its all up the walls

the stale chips are up and the hopes stakes are down
it's these ignorant faces that bring this town down
yeah i sighed and sunken with pride
you know passed myself down on my knees
yes i passed myself down on my knees

what can you want now you've got it all
she says it's obscene
time will strip it away
a year and a day
and bill bones, he knows what i mean

there are fewer more distressing sights than that
of an englishman in a baseball cap
yeah we'll die in the class we were born
that's a class of our own my love
we're in a class of our own my love

did you see the stylish kids in the riot
we were shovelled up like muck
then set the night on fire
wombles bleed truncheons and shields
you know i cherish you my love
oh how i cherish you my love

[aupointillimite]

I love that song longtime!

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

That's funny about your friend having Pete Doherty try to sell him crack.  The keyboardist from Stereolab bought me a shot of whiskey last year... and unlike your friend, I accepted it.  With gusto.

[Ann]

I seriously think he's hot.  I'm not kidding.

Um.... eew. Eew!

~shudder~

I'm worried about you now. Seriously worried.

I mean.... eeewww!!! 

Kate Moss can keep 'im!

[blondbeauty]

You play the keyboard...so you are the girl dressed in pink in this video...OH no! That is me!
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CBChU__v6o

[Miss Philicia]

Damn.  You're good.  

I'll come up to Philly with a brick of weed for you and some coke for me.  We'll be up all night... playing video games and drinking cheap champagne! 

huh?  Queen lives in Philly?  For real?

[aupointillimite]

huh?  Queen lives in Philly?  For real?

I thought she did.

I was wrong.

This stems from my "Philadelphia is the only place in Pennsylvania that people live" theory.  Much like my "New York is the only place people in the state of the same name live in" theory.

I might have to rethink that.

[Miss Philicia]

Trust!  Any parts of Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia have more in common with Kentucky.

[aupointillimite]

Trust!  Any parts of Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia have more in common with Kentucky.

Someone from Pennsylvania once described it as "Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle."

And when we drove through Pennsylvania up 81 going to Montreal we couldn't stop saying the line from House of Yes.

"I've never known anyone who's been to Pennsylvania much less than been from there... I mean Pennsylvania's just this state that gets in the way when you're going someplace else."

[Miss Philicia]

Yeah, well we all know Virginia has even scarier parts to it...

[aupointillimite]

Yeah, well we all know Virginia has even scarier parts to it...

Oh yes.

Oh God, yes.

Caroline County wins, hand down, the Creepiest Place Ever designation.

And then there are the mountains...