Author Topic: Introducing ME! (Read 6361 times)

guynsotulsa · « **on:** June 16, 2007, 03:21:24 pm »

Hi to all…. I thought I would start by sharing a bit about myself. Well I am 31 I live in Oklahoma, I have lived here all of my life… I have a son who is 15… (WOW where did the years go?) By the way my name is Jason…

I wanted to say thanks to all the guys and girls who have posted here, it does help us newbie’s understand what is going on in our body. It also helps us see what it is like living with HIV.

I was never supposed to get HIV, I was always careful, tested every three months since I was 20 years old. But my story mirrors some of the ones I have read here, so here it is….. Boy meets Boy…. One Boy drank to much (ME), and did not ask for protection the rest you know…. I was infected on December 8th 2006 after a night of drunken sex.. I think the worst part is I do not know the guys name…. (Ok now I sound like a hoe!!) Well anyway I converted over the Christmas Holiday…. (Merry Christmas!!)

I tested POZ on January 3rd 2007.

From Jan 3rd to probably Jan 20th I do not have much of a memory about… I drank my way to my first Doctor’s apt; it was all I could do to cope with the news. I was away from home doing some training for work during that time and I am not sure if I remember anything about those first weeks. I made it to the Doctor’s apt they drew what seemed like 20 vials of blood from me. My first numbers were well… AWFUL CD4 of 43 and V-Load of +100K… When I got told those numbers I thought “holy shit!! I got “full blown AIDS”” My Doctor later informed me that I was most likely still seroconverting is why the numbers came out so bad… I did a lot of reading back then and decided that I wanted to start treatment so that is what I did… “Atripla” My latest numbers in April were CD4 of 249 and V-load stayed the same. So I guess I am on the mend... Ha Ha…

The good news is I am finally back home with my son. (From training) I did manage to stop drinking so damn much vodka, although there are days I would love to get shit faced. But I don’t…. I have not told anyone that I am HIV+…. Just not quite ready… I do have my bad days but I know there is life with this damn disease and I will find it I am sure of that.

A question I have… Will I ever get my passion back… The passion I used to have for work, my house, my yard, and so on?

Sorry so long! Thanks for reading
Jason

Jerry71 · « **Reply #1 on:** June 16, 2007, 03:42:50 pm »

Welcome to the Aidsmeds Family.

Quote from: guynsotulsa on June 16, 2007, 03:21:24 pm

Will I ever get my passion back… The passion I used to have for work, my house, my yard,

Hey Jason it just takes time your just getting started. After you have been on the meds for some time things will all fall into place.

gvolts5 · « **Reply #2 on:** June 16, 2007, 04:08:02 pm »

Yes. You want your passion back so that will happen. Hey, when life goes this way or that way it can change our flow patterns. Yet, there is a 'you', a basic 'you', a fundamental 'you'. No matter what happens, (e.g. how old we get, whether we have to live here or there, whether our income changes or not, etc.) that 'you' is fixed. Oh, I guess as we live year after year after year that 'you' develops (either for better or for worse) but the basic 'you' is the same. Some people believe the 'you' even transcends lifetimes; if you're reincarnated the 'you' will be the same 'you'.

You'll always be you, depend on it.

John

milker · « **Reply #3 on:** June 16, 2007, 07:02:10 pm »

Hello YOU,

welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing your story. You seem to want to live long and strong, and you now have the tools to do it. Being newly diagnosed it's not unusual to go through ups and downs wondering too often what the future will be, but it usually gets better!

Too bad you're so far, I need yard work done !

Milker.

Nico · « **Reply #4 on:** June 16, 2007, 07:45:06 pm »

Jason.
Yes you will get the passion back. Your 15 year old son will need you. Hell, I can't even think of being a father at the age of 16! Now you are 31. Just keep being honest and open to all on here. All of us have been through a lot. Welcome.

Rog

Teresa · « **Reply #5 on:** June 16, 2007, 10:15:27 pm »

Hello and Welcome to the forums.

It will take time but things will get back to almost where they were before. It has been a year since we found out my hubby is positive. It has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. There are some days now that I don't think about HIV every other minute.

So you are in Tulsa...Wichita here. We went the renaissance fair there a few years ago. Had a blast!

Hugs
Teresa

xyahka · « **Reply #6 on:** June 17, 2007, 12:01:26 am »

Hi there, glad you found us... $:-\$ i mean.. we are here to help... (i always dislike this first part).

Anyways, as all my friends have said, life will slowly come back. The fundamental YOU is still there (that was a great post... gvolts5... very Freud style

). I would suggest you to start remaking plans for your future, i am sure you had them prior to be diagnosed, soooo.... it is time to make minor adjustments and make them run!!!

We are here as a good of friends in this new path you are going thru, so... feel free to write us and contact us whenever you want.

Juan Carlos

Sky · « **Reply #7 on:** June 17, 2007, 12:09:13 am »

Welcome Jason!!! Sorry to hear about your unfortunate event, but you're in the right place. As far as telling people, that comes over time, don't rush it. Gotta wait for the time to be right for you. I'm always willing to listen if you ever need to talk, just PM me.

Charlie

jordan · « **Reply #8 on:** June 17, 2007, 06:01:36 am »

Welcome Jason. I'm also on Atripla....was diagnosed in Feb 2006. I like you, was not supposed to get HIV.......but the thing I feared most came upon me.

The silver lining in this dark cloud is that today my numbers are great and my viral burden is undetectable. I'm more at peace then I have ever been and I'm really appreciating the people around me.

I've only told 1 person and no one else knows (except for those of you on this great forum).

Peace,

Jordan

J.R.E. · « **Reply #9 on:** June 17, 2007, 07:38:57 am »

Hello Jason,

Welcome to the site. Wow....Being a dad at 16, that's a job in itself. Happy fathers day to you !!

I am sure you will find some great information here to help you along the HIV journey. I was infected around the 4th of July weekend in 1985. Tested positive in October of 85.

As far as getting the passion back. Of course you will...If you want to, that depends on the road you take !! It's not an easy road, by any means. Lots of potholes and speedbumps, but you'll get through them. Educate yourself on this virus, and what you can do to help manage it through medication, diet, nutrition and exercise. You're young, you have a long life ahead of you.

Take care of yourself-------Ray

guynsotulsa · « **Reply #10 on:** June 17, 2007, 09:21:02 am »

THANKS to every one for your comments..... Nice to know i am not alone in this!!!! Today is Fathers Day and I am having a cook-out so i am going to try and not think about it today!!!!

Jason

anniebc · « **Reply #11 on:** June 17, 2007, 07:26:38 pm »

Hi Jason

Welcome to the forums..as long as you stay around the guys here will make sure you will never be on your own.

Hope your BBQ goes well and you enjoy the day.

Hugs
Jan

Longislander · « **Reply #12 on:** June 17, 2007, 08:12:42 pm »

glad you were able to find the place~ Happy Father's Day!

Everyones different, but you are well on your way to the life you want to live, I wish you all the best~

Paul

Life · « **Reply #13 on:** June 17, 2007, 10:15:02 pm »

Hi Jason...

Welcome to a place which is just as beautiful as those Oklahoma wheat fields.... Ive got more relatives between you and Colorado I can shake a stick at... My parents live about 75 miles away from Tulsa.... I do not miss my ORU !!!

Things are a changin with ya for sure. It depends on you and how you want to tackle this.. How much power do you want to pour into your diagnosis mentally. Try and stear clear from the what if's and why me's... Just know that yeah its you and your going to prevail.... Hug your son, and go about living. Cuz you got alot of that still to do..

Hugs,

Eric

appleboy · « **Reply #14 on:** June 17, 2007, 10:25:23 pm »

Jason welcome! Yes your interests will come back just give it time. Glad you are here!
Bill

aztecan · « **Reply #15 on:** June 18, 2007, 09:06:30 am »

Howdy Jason,

Welcome to the forums. A belated happy father's day, I hope your barbecue was great.

The first year is the roughest, if only because you are adjusting to something new in your life.

You certainly can recover the passion you had for whatever it was you were passionate about. Just give yourself some time.

I tested positive in July 1985. My first doc thought I was infected in the early summer of 1980. So, yea, I've had it a while and it has been quite a ride thus far.

Life will go on, your son will continue to grow, (EEP! college!) Just hang in there.

HUGS,

Mark

Florida69 · « **Reply #16 on:** June 21, 2007, 09:38:13 am »

Nice to meet you Jason, I was diagnosed in January of 2006. You will get through this, don't loose track of yourself. I did for a minute and allow yourself a chance to accept what is going on, and the best way to handle it. I have some great friends that come here, I am sure you will find the support that you need. I know right now you are gathering as much information as you can handle, I did that too. Before you know it a year and a half will be gone and you will be back on track. Good luck to you... Tulsa is so beautiful, and the good thing is that you have a family that I am sure will support you. HUGS TO YOU.. D

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mjmel · « **Reply #17 on:** June 21, 2007, 01:34:06 pm »

Welcome to the forum, Jason. Hope you find some of what you seek within this site.
Regarding the question you posed in your the final sentence of your intro, well........the answer is right there in your signature line.

Mike

zeb · « **Reply #18 on:** June 21, 2007, 01:41:06 pm »

Holy Mozes,

After converting a cd4 of 43! Well it's good your numbers are rising! I hope you'll keep doing fine!

Zeb

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Author Topic: Introducing ME! (Read 6361 times)