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Author Topic: SS office  (Read 2799 times)

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Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,900
SS office
« on: April 12, 2019, 07:39:48 pm »

 So , as some of you know , Bob died !    38 years together .
I went to claim my $255.   
 I was talked into claiming Bob's SS
Now i am scared to death !
The SS administration is going to review me !
I am months from being 65
I am not doing well , cd's dropping like the stock market .
he says : You can back out , like a tease !
I said nope , you said i can not be affected !
Now I am spooked !
If SS drops me , i will have two choices , neither are good
One is permanent , one is dreadful .
I should have told him no . the difference is only worth a tank of oil .
Since Bob died on January Life has been a living hell .
I pretend , it's better for people , not so much me .
Too add to my sadness , I found out my first love died in 1985  :'(
I have wondered about him for years , I'll never forget his face when i said I was moving to Las Vegas . He was really special .
Life is beginning to have less and less value .
I gave a friend a special Duck Call I bought Bob in 1982 , my friend said he was going to google it , I asked him not too , I paid lots for it , and I know it's worth .
It was a gift only to show I value his friendship , there are few people that really care as much . Today i saw some of Bob's relatives , I had a better time with the cashier at wal-mart  ???   later .
I am about to cash out my stuff , maybe the house ?   
If no one cares , why should I bother with it all ?
I've had people act concerned , yup ! concerned for $
Well , my t-cells are crapping out .
Not really to worried ....     
" Live and let Live "

Offline Ptrk3

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 2,779
Re: SS office
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2019, 08:26:51 pm »
Weasal:  I'm sorry to read of the loss of your beloved Bob.  You have my deepest condolences.

In regard to your social security concerns, I'm not sure I'm following exactly what you mean.

The $255, I presume, is the spousal death benefit, which you are entitled to under law if you are the widower.

If you are currently getting SSDI (as opposed to SSI), it's probably unlikely that your disability status would be reviewed (via a continuing disability review) simply because you are seeking the $255 death benefit.

What the social security representative may be explaining to you is that your benefits may be recalculated according to pursuant and controlling law and regulation.

The fact that you are 65 is meaningful, as the age of the surviving spouse matters.

I'm not sure you can get both your continuing SSDI, if that's what we're talking about, and your late husband's regular ss (or his ssdi, if that's what we're talking about), but you would be entitled to the one that is more.

I'm not an ss lawyer (just like I'm not a medical professional), but I want to assist you, since your posting indicates that you are emotionally troubled (understandably) by all the difficult days you have been having this year.  My point is, please don't let this situation add to your stress.  Things will play out.

Perhaps, you need to talk to ss again and figure out exactly what is going on.

Here are some links I found that may be relevant to your situation:



As to your state of mind, please seek assistance if you need it.  You are in the early stages of the grieving process and you may need professional guidance to help you.

Please consult with your healthcare provider about your CD4 drop in order to get an understanding about what is going on (blips do happen).  I'm sure you already know that 200 is the number to be above and that undetectable is the viral load that you wish to maintain.

Please take care of yourself.

Finally, I should note that I'm not a long-term Pre-HAART survivor, so under usual circumstances, would not be posting in this forum.  But I am a moderator, and I don't want your post to go answered (these forums are not as active as they once were) for any lengthy period of time.

It would be great if someone who is a long-term Pre-Haart survivor can jump in and assist you, at which point, Jim or another moderator is free to remove my post (or is someone posts a moderator post about my responding to your post).

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You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
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Offline flashdance

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
  • Reach out and touch me....
Re: SS office
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2019, 10:01:06 am »
My heart goes out to you, Weasel. I like your nickname. Love to hear the story how you were attached to that "animal".

To be able for me to have a lifetime of memories of someone so special as Bob....I still dream for the day and have not given up hope that I will find that connection.

Today is supposedly my last day before I receive my first SS deposit in my bank account. 62 and now solely dependent on SS. Most of my dreadful feelings just swirl around the fact that I am old...Old, Ugly and Fat. But then I try and take some of those great songs that get stamped in our brains...and maybe I might be beautiful...

When I turned 55...I started to think that I have to have someone as soon as possible. I just knew that what I was going to experience once I pass that great goal of 60...I just could not live strongly unless someone was there to take me to the hospital when I needed some melanoma spots removed from my body....when I needed another drive to the ER due to a thrombosed Hemorrhoid that needed immediate attn, luckily my first and only buttbaby!

Then came the dental issues where free dental assistance tried to have a tooth removed...then not...then traveling to Chicago for root canal...then not...holy crap...why did I have to go through this mostly alone or with my sister that could easily be Mike Pence's double.

Just tryin to state we Poz peeps have our moments....and it definitely is tougher to pull up the boot straps and continue the walk to try and live as long as possible....just so that we can say, FUCK YOU, HIV.

Just remember...I see a little box with your face pictured...and I love you, man.   
You are never alone...and if you start to feel lonely....search me out...or grab your cat!

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,900
Re: SS office
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2019, 06:08:08 pm »

 Today is the three month anniversary of Bob's death .  :'(

 Thank you  Ptrk3  , that second link nearly drove me insane  ???     It was very confusing .

   Bob was just plain old SS he would have been 69 in the Autumn .

   Although unlikely to be reevaluated  , it is what they are doing . Scares me , I am not in any better shape than i was when I got SSDI  :-[

   Thank you Flashdance , for your kind words , It is very scary to me to be alone and when the time comes , I will not get the comfort of a loving husband . I have to drive 140 miles to see a doctor , it is frightful .
  All I wanted was The Death benefit , it was the SS man that wanted to pursue my collecting of Bob's SS . I told him I was not concerned , he said $ is $ , so I said yes .   
I do hope it is just me be worried and not SS trying to dismiss me .
  BTW , I do see a VA specialist often enough for me to cope . She asked me if I called a realtor 2 days after Bob died !   Odd at best , then she asked if I had a dog , I showed her a picture , she said she wanted to cry  >:( it made her sad . Speedy was killed last month , I will not tell her that . 
" Live and let Live "

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,900
Re: SS office
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2019, 06:53:34 pm »

   HE LIED !

    I am now being reviewed by a third party !

 A seven page questioner !


 My therapist told me today she felt the SS man was anti GAY and was trying to drop me  >:( 

   I told her what he had said about the VA , and she flat out said : " He lied ! "

 Now i have to PROVE I am not able to work , I can barely walk , WTF !

   This is bad .
" Live and let Live "

Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 662
Re: SS office
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2019, 05:26:58 pm »
   I told her what he had said about the VA , and she flat out said : " He lied ! "


please pardon my confusion sorry trying to make sure I  understand

I have read and reread this a a few times

what did he say about the VA ?  I must have missed something someplace ? 

was it you told her what he ( the social security guy )  said while you were at the  VA ? or did the Social security guy say something about the VA ?

just so I understand more about what happened to you

 or was it he lied about what he had told you ? or  that he said something about the VA ?  I have been rereading this making sure I did not miss anything and please pardon my inquiry just wanted to make sure I understand what you are going through

thank you
« Last Edit: April 21, 2019, 05:31:13 pm by em »

Offline Ptrk3

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 2,779
Re: SS office
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2019, 11:56:29 pm »
Weasel:   It appears that you may be getting a long-form for a Continuing Disability Review (CDR), which happens from time to time under prescribed time frames (depending on why you were determined to be entitled to SSDI).

You may have had a CDR before (either short or long form).

It would be quite unusual for someone as close as you are to you social security's Full Retirement Age (FRA), at which time your SSDI would convert to "regular" social security retirement benefits, to be terminated from SSDI.

Even if your SSDI benefits were terminated, you would simply apply for "regular" social security retirement, since you are over 62.

Do make sure you fill out the form, however, and work with your healthcare provider, where appropriate.

It won't be the social security representative who makes the decision.  Most likely, it would be state agency personnel (contracted by social security) who makes any decision.

Your SSDI benefits will most probably continue until you reach your FRA and then be "converted" to regular social security.

Feel free to access this link and peruse the Continue Disability Review topic area to understand what is most likely happening in your case:



HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP


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