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Author Topic: Any risk at all, even if it is small?  (Read 4935 times)

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Offline condomslip

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Any risk at all, even if it is small?
« on: April 07, 2007, 02:52:55 am »
As my name indicates, it's basically what happened. I have the worst luck, I tell ya! I am in a new recent dating relationship with an HIV+ girl. She is great and I care for her dearly. Tonight we decided to have sex for the first time. Kinky sex I might add. Anyhow, we traded oral, no condom, but for intercourse we used a condom. Being the fast finisher I am, I finished before she was "there" but I could see by her reaction she was almost ready to orgasm, so I kept little willy inside. Since little willy likes to shrink when he is done, she bagan grinding much harder, infact quite hard on my penis. Shje reached her climax and started to lift off me. Yep, you guessed it, no condom was left on little will. :( She reached inside and pulled the condom out where most of my fluids were still inside the condom, but some had leaked down on my leg. I have no idea is during the final hard grinding she was doing to me, if the condom had slipped off, or if it was later then that. My thoughts are, my tool shrank up some after I came, she began working it much harder to achieve her orgasm, so if pulled it off. I think I must have been exposed some.

My girlfriend is not currently on meds as her numbers are good, but she does havea viral load due to not currently needed meds. I also know, from reading here, that the condoim protected me before it broke, but I guess I need some reasurance that my risk was small? If not, then please tell me so. And no, I'm not the typical paraniod freak about HIV, I  respect and would sure like to avoid it, but I'm not paraniod about it like many of the other "am I infected" people. I would just like my true, honest odds and do I need testing? Also, was the fact she ground hard on the top of my penis make it higher of a chance for infection? Thanks!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: HIV+ girlfriend, condom slipped off
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2007, 05:24:59 am »
The condom came off on withdraw. NO risk...Next time hold onto the condom on withdraw.

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV+ girlfriend, condom slipped off
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2007, 05:49:58 am »
condom,

I'm in agreement with Rodney here - the condom would have come off as you withdrew. I say that from the point of view of many years experience with condoms.

As for testing, it is usually recommended that the negative partner in a serodiscordant relationship gets tested as a matter of routine. I'm in such a relationship myself and in the beginning, my partner tested every three months, then every six months, then once a year as we both became more comfortable with the fact that our activities were not putting him at risk. Yes, we had a few condom slips on withdrawal. He's still hiv negative and we've been together nearly eight years now.

Please don't stress over this incident. Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. They really do prevent hiv transmission when used consistently and correctly.

By the way, I hope you tell your girlfriend about these forums. She may want to take advantage of the support and information she will find here - and we even opened a new "Positive Women" forum just the other day. We also have a "Someone I Care About has HIV" forum where you can post.

By the way, in future when you happen to finish before her, you would be wise to help her finish in some other way as you should be withdrawing after ejaculation. Use your imagination! ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline condomslip

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Re: HIV+ girlfriend, condom slipped off
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2007, 06:37:50 am »
Thanks Ann and Rod for the response. I might add, there was a round two, this time due to having much greater stamina for a second round, I did not finish until after she finished. I knew I should withdraw after the I came, but I'm sure as anyone who has sex can relate, the heat of the moment can sometimes curb your thought process. She was on top, she was quivering and oh so very close, there was just no way, I was going to tell her to stop.

This girl is great, I really like her and hope to have a long standing relationship. The sex is outstanding and due to her upfront and rather candid personality, we are very open about how and why would should have sex. As someone who is currently HIV-, sure i want to stay that way, and will do my best to achieve this, but I think in the unlikely event something werre to happen, I could and would be capable of dealing with it. We have had this discussion as she was so very concerned.

At her request, we phoned her doctor this evening, left a voice mail and actually called back during his dinner!  he said I should just setup a 6 month religious testing schedule. I / we asked about pep and he said he would not prescribe it in my siutation, since from what we described would have been very low risk, is any since the condom likely was on during most of the entire act. He said, (what I already knew) if that it is vitually impossible for a male to become infected from a single time exposure to female vaginal fluids. something like 4000-1 chance, so I'll take those odds, enjoy my new love and get tested every 6 months. And as all of you prove every day, if I do become infected, life goes on..........Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV+ girlfriend, condom slipped off
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2007, 06:51:42 am »
Condom,

As long as you don't take the doctors comments about "odds" to be a license to go without condoms, I think he's a wise man indeed. Too many doctor err heavily on the side of caution and end up scaring people unnecessarily.

It's refreshing to read about a doctor who takes a no-nonsense approach and it's also refreshing to read about a blossoming serodiscordant relationship where both parties have a healthy outlook on that relationship. Talking openly and honestly is half the battle and it sounds like you both are winning. Great stuff!

And as I mentioned earlier, I hope you and your girlfriend avail yourselves of everything this website has to offer, including the Lessons. You can find out what else is available by reading the Welcome thread in the Living forum.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline condomslip

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Any risk at all, even if it is small?
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2008, 06:20:52 am »
My sexual experience. Can we assume for risk's sake she was positive, please?

Meet a girl we go back to her place. One thing leads to another and next thing I know we are half naked. I finger her with two fingers, she is very wet and arroused. She then performs oral on me, no condom. I then finger her some more, also licking my fingers that have just been in her vagina, with some vaginal fluids on them. I stimulate her this was for a good 5 minutes. We then proceed to have intercourse, which we did use a condom for. Condom did NOT break or slip and stayed intact until I finished. I used my hand to take off condom, went to bathroom and washed up. I noticed the base are of my penis had some vaginal fluids where the condom did not reach.

Is there any risk in this scenario, no matter how small it might be? Also, again, let assume my partner was +. This is what safe sex advocates teach us anyhow.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Any risk at all, even if it is small?
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2008, 06:30:41 am »
Please keep all your additional thoughts, questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us to follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you can't find you original thread click on the red link I've provided above. Alternatively you can click on the "show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.

Your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Any risk at all, even if it is small?
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2008, 07:53:47 am »
CS,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Nothing you did was a risk for hiv infection. Fingering is not a risk. Getting a blowjob is not a risk. Going down on a woman is not a risk. Protected intercourse is not a risk. You had no risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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