Little anxious, need reassurance

[anonymousacct123]

About a year ago I posted an ad on Craigslist looking to hookup with someone, male or female, and do whatever happens. I was in a somewhat dark place and just wanted to have human contact. A guy responded and offered to give me a blowjob. Having never done this before, and having never been with another person before in any capacity, I agreed to meetup. This wasn't the first time I cruised Craigslist and not the first time I got as far as agreeing to a meetup, but it was the first time I actually followed through and met with someone.

We met up, and he gave me the blowjob. I didn't last long, so the entirety of the contact was about 2-3 minutes. Now, I had a feeling I knew this person. Not personally, but knew of them and I'm pretty sure he's HIV positive. I kinda knew before he blew me, but I wasn't thinking clearly and was acting very recklessly I'll admit. He seemed like he regularly did things like this so I figured even though he's positive, he's responsible and must take medication to lower his viral load and I'm pretty sure he didn't have open wounds and visible blood in his mouth nor did I have cuts on my penis. I emailed him afterwards to ask again if he was clean he said I was fine.  I immediately regretted the whole thing and the week following the event was filled with anxiety, depression, and shame. And I frequently searched google for info on contracting HIV from receiving oral. Everything I read said it was virtually impossible to get HIV from receiving but I still had that lingering fear in the back of my head. Months passed and I slowly accepted and got over what happened, but the fear, however small, was still there and I would go read the same articles and read this forum for relief. Now it's been a year and I just need reassurance.

The one caveat to my experience that I haven't seen asked is that after the blowjob, about five minutes after, I cleaned myself up and used a little bit of spray-on hand sanitizer to clean my penis. Is that bad? Could that have caused tears to open and allow the virus in? That's the one thing I keep going back to that makes me the most nervous.

But now, I've decided I need to be told personally whether I'm fine or not. So, finally, my question is: Based on my experience (and use of hand sanitizer), can I get HIV from receiving a blowjob?

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Getting your penis sucked lacks all the conditions required for aquiring HIV and hence nobody has ever aquired HIV from this activity. Now nothing about cleaning your penis afterwards will change that.

It's simply no HIV risk whatsoever

If this was your only sexual encounter in life than HIV is not a concern

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention for the future.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for far to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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[anonymousacct123]

Phew, I don't think I've had a more satisfying sigh of relief than I did just now. A year of off and on worrying can now stop. Thank you so much for replying in such a timely manner, I feel so much better now. I'm probably gonna re-read your reply several times, just for the relief it brings. Again, thank you times a million, I greatly appreciate it.

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome

[anonymousacct123]

This is a sort of update/follow up question/ask for reassurance. It’s been 5 years since I originally posted on here about my experience that stressed me out. I was told not to worry about it, that there was no risk of exposure and I accepted that and moved on with my life. I’ve basically forgotten about all of that and have made big improvements in my life. I met someone who I’ve become very close with, she’s become maybe my closest friend. We’ve been more or less friends with benefits for almost 5 years now. She’s the only person I’ve had sex with, other than the encounter I had that stressed me out and brought me to this website. I’ve told her about that encounter, but not that it stressed me out the way it did.

Fast forward to this year. My parent has been having health issues this year that luckily has been resolved and they’re recovering great. But the whole thing made me stress about my own health, and I’ve been back and forth since January about whether there’s something wrong with me. And up until a couple days ago, I thought it was heart problems/blood clots/diabetes. But I stumbled upon a reddit post about hiv that sent me spiraling back to 5 years ago. For the last 3 days I’ve pored over post after post on here about risks and possibilities and I just can’t shake the fear that I did actually get it and am now having symptoms. Just when I feel reassured again, my brain thinks of another possibility and I stress all over again. I scheduled to see a doctor about my other worries, mostly a wellness check with bloodwork for cholesterol and things like that. But then this hiv fear came back and has stressed me to the point of feeling sick. Which in turn worries me more that it’s not the stress. I’ve thought about maybe going to get tested but with how long it’s been since I got the blowjob, I’m terrified. I never thought to test back then since that was a zero risk encounter and I’ve only ever been sexual with the person I’m with now. I feel anxious, stupid, and afraid. Am I okay and should I stop stressing?

[Jim Allen]

You had zero HIV risk 5 years from the concerned encounter, receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first.

We’ve been more or less friends with benefits for almost 5 years now. She’s the only person I’ve had sex with, other than the encounter I had that stressed me

You are sexually active so, use condoms, no exceptions and consider PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention. Out of standard routine get an STI & HIV screening yearly and talk to your healthcare provider about getting vaccinated against HPV & Hepatitis B.