Author Topic: How Out About Your HIV Are You at Work or School ? (Read 11306 times)

marc11864 · « **on:** February 03, 2007, 09:37:21 am »

I am at a crossroads in my life in that I find myself needing to return to the workforce in order that I can complete my education. This of course teased the question from my mind of to whom and how much will I need to disclose my HIV status.

So I am wondering about all this community and their own circumstances. How out about your HIV/AIDS status are you, either in the workforce or in your school community?

Last edit: Edited title for clarity.

koi1 · « **Reply #1 on:** February 03, 2007, 10:40:09 am »

I am a teacher in California, and I have experienced minimal issues with my colleagues or students knowing I am gay. However I don't plan to disclose my HIV status, as this would cause a bigger "concern". I guess they supect since I lost 30 pounds in the past 10 months.

rob

marc11864 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 03, 2007, 11:24:05 am »

hi ko1

That sounds on a par with another friend of mine who teaches at a private school in the Bay Area. He chose to disclose only to his immediate supervisor and only because of the need for occasional absences for labs, etc,...

bocker3 · « **Reply #3 on:** February 03, 2007, 12:20:59 pm »

Well, certainly everyone at work knows I'm gay -- and most have met my partner. As for my HIV status, I have only disclosed to 2 close friends, for support and to my current boss. I had not disclosed to my former boss -- I only told him that I had been diagnosed with a "health issue" that would require frequent doctor appointments and that I would make sure that this did not impact my work (I am able to do work from home to make up for time missed from the office). My current boss is an out lesbian who has friends that are positive, so I felt safe letting her know the "whole story" behind my frequent doctor appointments.

Mike

dtwpuck · « **Reply #4 on:** February 03, 2007, 12:32:19 pm »

Everyone knows I'm gay, and most people know my HIV status, although I am more circumspect with that. In my previous job, everyone knew everything. It never was a problem.
At any rate, I don't really disclose HIV all the time simply because I don't really need or want everyone's concern.

Coffeechick88 · « **Reply #5 on:** February 03, 2007, 12:43:57 pm »

Always think before you disclose--the minimum number of people on a need to know basis would be sex partners and doctors treating you. Beyond that, use your discretion. I in effect "outed" myself at work by deciding to get my labs drawn at the very lab I work in (instead of the usual satellite clinic or other lab). I needed to get to the doctor because for some stupid reason I made the appointment not factoring in the 2 hour drive after work and no time for the clinic, so I took a leap of faith and had someone draw me, processed them, and was on my way. I do get times where I feel a little nervous, but other times more relaxed since I don't have to work on hiding anymore--trust me it gets annoying. So far so good--I just realize that dammit HIPAA applies to me as well and maybe not everyone is like that first job that put me through discrimination--and if they don't like it they'll have to get over it. I don't announce it, but anyone who pulled the final report off the printer and faxed it would have to be an idiot not to know what it is for and nothing has changed, which I appreciate. So my advice is use discretion, but don't be like how I used to be and basically have a panic attack before disclosing and live in fear.

AustinWesley · « **Reply #6 on:** February 03, 2007, 12:50:06 pm »

Great topic. As far as being out at work I never had any issue with that, and I probably wouldn't change to a career where I felt oppressed. That's just for me. I don't announce to people I'm gay either. If they find out I don't care, and I don't try to hide it.

However, from a prior experience at a big corporation I definitely would not be open about HIV status. There were two guys who were gay that I knew of who tried to apply for the department I worked in. One got in and went out on disability never to be seen again and being a health insurance company my bosses looked up his medical info. online and found out he was HIV+. Afterwards, another guy tried to apply into our dept. Everyone knew he was sick and gay so they put it together.

Anyways, they had made up their minds to not hire the 2nd guy and to avoid the appearence of bias asked me to be in on the interview because I was gay. I wouldn't do it because they had no intention of giving him a fair chance and were trying to use me to cover their own asses. Oh, the joys of working for a big corporation.

I think I would never disclose my HIV status at work unless I was working in a related industry where coworkers and others were also HIV+.

They don't need to know that information and I wouldn't give it out.

I know one friend who found labs open on weekends to avoid taking excess time off work. Many are now depending on where you live.

rick21007 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 03, 2007, 01:24:11 pm »

While I am out at work as far as being gay, I think disclosing my hiv status is definitely on a need-to-know basis. I have two friends at work who know I am a poz including my supervisor-----when I told her it was the first time in the 10 years we have been friends I saw tears run down her cheeks. She was working at the Indian Health Center in San Francisco in the early 80s and had lost several very close friends to the AIDS epidemic. It was not easy for her to hear my news but she has been totally supportive.

I did disclose that I had acute hepatitis B last year. I was out sick for about a month and had used up all my vacation and sick time and my company _gave_ me extra paid time to cover my absence. Plus when I came back they gave me a promotion with a salary increase.

Well, I admit, I dont work for your average employer!!!

Rick

marc11864 · « **Reply #8 on:** February 03, 2007, 01:47:52 pm »

Hi all,

Just a quick note that I edited the title as of this moment for clarity. This was so that additionally, straight members also might be both inclined to participate in this thread and benefit from any answers. Please feel free however to continue to include your status regarding sexuality as well though. It certainly contributes to the issue.

RapidRod · « **Reply #9 on:** February 03, 2007, 01:54:48 pm »

marc11864, every where I worked knew about me being HIV+, from being a Paramedic Firefighter, working in a straight bar to driving a semi cross country. I never hide my sexual orientation either.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #10 on:** February 03, 2007, 02:14:14 pm »

When I was diagnosed in '93 I was working at a non-profit arts organization. It was a very small, intimate office and both directors knew I was gay. When I found out the news I told one of them so they'd know that I'd be home for a couple of days collecting my thoughts. They were very, very caring about my situation. I soon took a new job for more money though and worked there for 8 years, and didn't disclose until my final year when I needed to occasionally come in an hour late to see a specialist. My bosses knew I was gay all along there and it was not an issue, I'd just not disclosed previously because there was no need to and I always squeezed my monthly HIV appointments in a lunch hour, as my doctor's office was only 3 subway stops away.

The longer your HIV progresses and you need to see more doctors it's harder not to disclose, simply out of scheduling considerations. Makes finding new jobs rather problematic I would think... depends where you are in your treatment.

J.R.E. · « **Reply #11 on:** February 03, 2007, 02:35:11 pm »

I won't disclose in the workplace, until the time is right. Family and friends all know my status.

Ray

Seven · « **Reply #12 on:** February 03, 2007, 02:43:55 pm »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

My workplace is gossip central. I am suprized noone write's a trashy newpaper/magazine about all the shit that goes around in there.

I will NEVER disclose to my workplace. No reason too. They are not family, nor friends. I do my job and leave. They dont need to know my business. I do not trust ANYONE there AT ALL!

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #13 on:** February 03, 2007, 04:39:06 pm »

Why would I want to disclose to people at work? What possible advantage could that bring me? I don't want to hear about my coworker's herpes infection and I'm sure they don't want to hear about my HIV.

poet · « **Reply #14 on:** February 03, 2007, 04:41:01 pm »

When I was in NYC, doing bodywork (non-licensed massage) I told no one unless a client told me and, as I posted elsewhere, it was usually because he had been turned down for sessions because of his hiv status in the past.

Since there was no concern about transmission in the work that I was doing, there was no point in discovering how psycho certain gay or straight men could turn out to be.

I currently work primarily with gay men and women as staff members, so disclosing my sexual orientation was sort of a given. I would not get into my hiv status, however, since it could accidentally trickle back to the guys I work with (mentally challenged) and their understanding would be unpredictable. I work on weekends, so have no trouble getting labs done. I am not covered with health insurance through them, so it will not appear in my records, either. Win

fearless · « **Reply #15 on:** February 03, 2007, 06:11:41 pm »

I disclosed at work within the first 6 months of being diagnosed. All my friends at work and my immediate bosses. I assume many more know through osmosis and the fact that I access this site through work fairly often.

For the first 6 months of 2004, my bosses were giving me grief over all my absences - pneumonia, then my diagnosis, then herpes, then shingles. I was hardly there for the first 4 months of 2004, but I was only telling them that I was sick, and not the exact reasons. They were questioning my commitment to the workplace, my big boss ignoring me totally. I got fed up with it one day and just marched in and told them.

For me, it was the best thing I've ever done. I won back their respect (the fact that they were questioning my commitment after 13 years got right up my nose), and they have been incredibly understanding. They let me take 3 months leave in the second half of 2004, have offered me permanent part-time work if I ever need it, and allow me flexibility in my work hours so I can participate in an HIV drug trial.

I don't offer it up, but if anyone were to ask I'd tell them.

emeraldize · « **Reply #16 on:** February 03, 2007, 07:41:42 pm »

I am completely out, but it is because I decided to work in the HIV/AIDS field.

Blixer · « **Reply #17 on:** February 03, 2007, 09:58:10 pm »

I've only disclosed my HIV status to a few close friends and family. One person at work knows about it, because she knew me well enough to figure it out. I don't plan to disclose any more than that at work. I work in a very small rural community in K-12 education and I think that a lot of people would not understand. I tihnk they would be afraid that they might "catch it" from me. I think disclosure is a very personal issue and for me is on a case-by-case basis or a need to know basis. But that's just for me and my situation. Deep inside of me I wish I were in a location/work situation where I felt I could be open about it.

joemutt · « **Reply #18 on:** February 04, 2007, 06:15:35 am »

I told my nearest collaborator, since we get along well person to person,
but also to have someone who knows my doctors and insurance, in case.
Otherwise I haven't but I wouldn't really care if they knew.

budndallastx · « **Reply #19 on:** February 04, 2007, 10:47:52 am »

Frankly, it's no one's business about my health status. I take time off for doctors visits but usually try to bunch them together so that I can cover them in a single day. Luckily, the lab is close by so I can run by there at lunch time. Too many people gossiping and I don't want people to worry about me since I will be fine.

I have disclosed to some friends but know they're not going to be talking about it.

NycJoe · « **Reply #20 on:** February 04, 2007, 11:04:41 am »

I find no value in my telling anyone at work. As someone said above..its none of my business what anyone else in the office has and its certainly not their business with my hiv. These are coworkers..not best friends. But then again..I consider myself a private person at work in most areas of my life tho most all know I am gay which is fine.

IzPoz · « **Reply #21 on:** February 04, 2007, 11:13:35 am »

I personally, wouldn't disclose to my bosses at work. This is a choice that I feel is best for me. There are a couple of people at work that do know, one being the mother of my daughter's friend (knew her before I started there), one person who guessed (because of my late husband) and one who is a really great friend of mine. The first one could have said something to the other managers (she's a manager), but no one has indicated that they know. And if they do, so what? They like what I do, I'm always there, I'm reliable, and invaluable. As long as it's not impacting my job, it's not an issue.

And besides, I work for a global company that is so 'pc correct' and 'by the rules' that they know their legal obligations.

ACinKC · « **Reply #22 on:** February 05, 2007, 10:11:36 am »

I work with my mom, my dad, my brother in law and my best friend. We have about 45 employess in the company and those are the only ones that know. So for me, work and home were so intertwined it really didnt matter.

Boo Radley · « **Reply #23 on:** February 05, 2007, 02:20:24 pm »

I'm so open about my HIV status I practically flaunt it! When I was employed everyone knew I was gay and after dealing with my internal issues after testing poz I began disclosing on a regular basis. I worked in a small academic library and to a person all of my coworkers were extremely supportive. One reason I initially disclosed is that I asked for a small work-at-home arrangement due to constant fatigue and felt I owed the people I supervised a valid reason for my request.

Just the other day an older lady was examining the pre-baked chickens in the case at A&P and wondered out loud if they'd been sitting out so long they might have bacteria. I told her "I have AIDS and eat these all the time and have never had any problems so unless you have an immune system problem I'm sure you'd be safe." She looked slightly taken aback but then thanked me and selected her chicken.

Having HIV disease is a major factor in my life. I don't have a + tattooed on my forehead (it's on my left shoulder) but when it seems appropriate I disclose my status. I disclose if for nothing more than to let people know they have friends and acquaintances with HIV even though they may be unaware of it. Just like expecting acceptance when I say I'm gay I expect civilized people to deal with my status when I disclose. I have rarely been disappointed.

Boo

tsw923 · « **Reply #24 on:** February 05, 2007, 10:47:49 pm »

Well, most people know that I'm straight at work so that hasn't been a problem

I get a bit more eyebrows raised for being a single black (or African American take your pick

) woman with no kids...

As for my HIV status, I have chosen not to be open about that with my company. My supervisor knows that I have a 'health issue', but I've left it at that. Most folks don't know at all, though they noticed that I seemed to be sick a lot (before I went on medication). Personally, I don't think its their business and as long as I'm able to be healthy and/or my health status doesn't affect work. I don't see the need for them to know it. I wouldn't necessarily tell work if I had diabetes either....

Ty

Boo Radley · « **Reply #25 on:** February 05, 2007, 10:59:31 pm »

Quote from: tsw923 on February 05, 2007, 10:47:49 pm

Well, most people know that I'm straight at work so that hasn't been a problem I get a bit more eyebrows raised for being a single black (or African American take your pick ) woman with no kids...

A single, heterosexual, Black female with no children? Wow, that is bizarre. Someone call Ripley's!

I remember the toughest job I had telling my status to my parents was getting them to believe I am Haitian.

Oh, geez, that old gem always cracks me up. My apologies.

Boo

AustinWesley · « **Reply #26 on:** February 06, 2007, 12:59:32 pm »

Quote from: Boo Radley on February 05, 2007, 02:20:24 pm

Just the other day an older lady was examining the pre-baked chickens in the case at A&P and wondered out loud if they'd been sitting out so long they might have bacteria. I told her "I have AIDS and eat these all the time and have never had any problems so unless you have an immune system problem I'm sure you'd be safe." She looked slightly taken aback but then thanked me and selected her chicken.

LOL, that was F...ing hilarious!

lostboy · « **Reply #27 on:** February 06, 2007, 07:46:27 pm »

I'm not out to anyone work. This will never happen for me. If I was discovered, I would be sacked and deported from the country. Hence the name "lostboy".
If I lived in a western country, I think I would be quite open about it.

Londonguy · « **Reply #28 on:** February 06, 2007, 08:28:46 pm »

I've recently been applying for jobs and there was no way in hell I was going to disclose I had HIV in the 'illness' section. It's hard enough to get a job without giving the impression that you might need a lot of time off and have variable health.

tsw923 · « **Reply #29 on:** February 06, 2007, 08:33:36 pm »

Boo -- You are Haitian?

I believe you :-) Too funny -- the best laugh I've ad all day....

Ty

Double M · « **Reply #30 on:** February 07, 2007, 01:12:45 am »

Hi,

I had to tell my boss and HR about my HIV status as they wanted me to go and work in the US for 6 months and it might have impacted on me getting a visa. They were both really supportive not only about the visa but about accommodating any doctor visits etc. In the end I got the visa and am joyfully missing the English winter down in Southern California! 8

Wouldn’t have said anything otherwise but now that I have it is someways quite a relief, don’t need to mess around with where I’m going etc…

Lloyd.

siongi · « **Reply #31 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:42:19 am »

I have never disclosed my status to anyone in the work place. But i suspect a few of my colleques know something. I had gone down with TB in Dec 2003 and lost a couple of stones. Then i was diagonized with HIV. I could read rightly or wrongly from their faces that they suspected something but that never came from my mouth and neither have anyone asked me about it.

mjmel · « **Reply #32 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:45:42 am »

Quote from: lostboy on February 06, 2007, 07:46:27 pm

I'm not out to anyone work. This will never happen for me. If I was discovered, I would be sacked and deported from the country. Hence the name "lostboy".
If I lived in a western country, I think I would be quite open about it.

Hey There, lostboy. As you can see by these comments there are places and situations in the western world where the milk of human kindness and understanding flows. It can be really good for the most part. It's NOT like that everywhere. Cruelty and prejudice still abide in the greater western nations. In places where you'd be shocked to see it and from people who you wouldn't expect it from...........doctors, nurses and health care workers for starters. Yeah, they refuse to deal with HIV+ people.
Although people are not deported (due to HIV status) from this particular country, the USA, some are forced to leave their positions or shunned till they feel so alienated--they quit from the pressure and shame. Those who disclose have a sense of calculated risk(s) and feel the odds are with them. They still leave themselves open to future discrimination. Hopefully, that won't happen but it could. Money and a high powered lawyer will get you justice, most assuredly. We have laws in place but they are subject to being ignored and not respected; nor enforced. It's a sad, sad state for those who take the brunt of this ignorance that still abounds.
Your predicament is dire, no doubt about it. So sorry you find yourself in this position. I pray you will find a way out of your country into a more "civilized" nation.
Gee, guess I needed to vent a bit. Injustice makes me angry.

indyguy · « **Reply #33 on:** February 07, 2007, 08:38:36 am »

I work at a hospital and the fact that my job involves restraints of patients I disclosed my status with no problems at all. And I am in Indiana go figure

Sky · « **Reply #34 on:** February 07, 2007, 05:26:23 pm »

I go to school full time for nursing, work full time in a hospital, and am open about HIV in both settings. At school I actually help first term students learn about HIV so they understand the disease. Working in a hospital is busy busy anyways, but following the standard precautions I'm ok. Even with all this running around, not having a day off, and eatting a modified diet my health is still top notch.

So if you're thinking about going back to school you should do it! Was the best thing that's ever happened to me post HIV.

Boo Radley · « **Reply #35 on:** February 08, 2007, 12:31:16 am »

Quote from: tsw923 on February 06, 2007, 08:33:36 pm

Boo -- You are Haitian? I believe you :-) Too funny -- the best laugh I've ad all day....

Ty

Ty,

Uh, yes I am... No, that is one of the few AIDS jokes I think is funny.

Then I remember "GAY = Got AIDS Yet?" and the smile turns upside down...

Boo

dyingYOUNG19 · « **Reply #36 on:** February 08, 2007, 06:20:14 am »

I've been diagnosed since April 2006 here in Manila,Philippines....

I am currently finishing my Nursing Degree...

in school, some of my classmates knew I am POZ....I told them especially my groupmates in our hospital duties....

they are supportive and nothing change in the way they treat me...they become more loving and passionate to me....THANKS GOD they are future nurses and somehow, they understand the nature of the disease....

allthough non of my teachers know about my situation (the one knows just recently fly to California, USA), I am hoping I could make it until April on my graduation day without having any problem as far as my status is concern....

hehe!

megasept · « **Reply #37 on:** February 12, 2007, 05:21:40 pm »

Quote from: GSOgymrat on February 03, 2007, 04:39:06 pm

Why would I want to disclose to people at work? What possible advantage could that bring me? I don't want to hear about my coworker's herpes infection and I'm sure they don't want to hear about my HIV.

Exactly. Just working with me doesn't cut it.

-megasept

JPinLA · « **Reply #38 on:** February 12, 2007, 11:14:18 pm »

I agree with megasept and gsogymrat, I try to keep my coworkers at arms length in terms of my personal life. Oh, I am out and proud at work but in terms on HIV, I am not willing to let them know what I did on the weekend let alone that i am HIV positive. Only a few friends and family know (and of course my wonderful partner) because I am close with them and feel safe with them. They might understand ( I am a clinical immunolgy researcher for a large biopharm company) the clincal implicatiions, but too many are lacking in the human/spiritual/emotional implications.

JP

jupiter · « **Reply #39 on:** February 13, 2007, 05:19:41 am »

for me very few of my friends know. No one at work and my family dont know. I doint see any reason to tell. My health is good and im not too stressed about it

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Author Topic: How Out About Your HIV Are You at Work or School ? (Read 11306 times)