LABS N STUFF

[deprivedlol]

So I've decided that after dealing with this crap for over 2 decades that I have to do things my way.  While I don't recommend my method to anyone else it's what works for me.  Basically I eat what I want, I live how I want, I go to the Dr. when I want (or actually when he refuses to renew my refills anymore until I drag myself in there). I have given that man many gray hairs over the years over my 'method' of living with this, but somehow he understands why I have to be that way.  It's what makes me me.

I know that I have been UD for many years, but I also have absolutely no idea what my CD4 is.  Why you may ask? Because I fixate on numbers, just like the ones on my scale.  I ask whether they're good, if there's  been a drastic change or not and that's good enough for me.  I refuse to get on the scale pretty much every time I go there.  For God's sake I've gained over 20 lbs in the last 6 months!  No need for worry there. 

If I feel like eating beef jerky and cheese for dinner so be it.  My logic is that the Carnation instant breakfast satisfies the majority of my nutritional needs...probably not though.

Sometimes I sleep 4 hours and sometimes ten.  My stress level is always at a screaming high due to financial reasons, my 20 yr old having life issues, and my ex living with me for the time being.  Never seems to affect my health.  Glad I didn't inherit Mom's high blood pressure.  Would have thought for sure I  would have.

I very rarely get a cold or anything else because I have dubbed myself the Queen of sanitizer.  I keep it everywhere.  My house, my car...everything is germ free.  I drive people crazy with my excessive hand washing, but you know what?  I'm not the one sneezing and hacking and running to the Dr. for antibiotics.

Now this may sound like I have a relaxed 'I don't give a sh*t ' attitude.  In a way I guess it's true, but on the other hand I have a lot of anxiety issues.  Tried therapy, refuse meds.  Just deal with it.  Have been dealing with that longer than the HIV and I'm still here, so I guess my way works.

I don't smoke or drink or have any other addictive habits.  One would wonder how I deal with things.  IDK...I guess I self medicate with food the majority of the time. Anything with cheese or bacon  works for me.  Sugar does wonders as well.  Surprised I'm not diabetic by now either.

I realize that some people deal with their diagnosis very seriously, and so they should.  But I have just resigned to the fact there isn't a damn thing I can do to change anything.  I can't wish it away, can't pray it away and so why stress over it.  I have so many other things to be stressed about in my life.

I hope at least a couple people find a little comic relief in my post.  That was my intention.   

[zach]

bacon wrapped bacon, with an order of bacon, on the side... is kind of the secret to happiness. and reading your post, you've got that secret figured out.

i just want to tell you, i love your attitude with a passion

[deprivedlol]

thanks      gotta be me!

was talking to my son today about funeral stuff...no real reason other than  I went to visit my grandparents at the cemetery this morning.  told him that when the time comes that he had better not have them put me in a damn dress..in my 44 yrs have only worn one for my 8th grade prom, my h.s. graduation, and his h.s. graduation...i want to go out in jeans a tshirt and sneakers.  and none of that damn sad ass organ music they generally play...better be something happy and loud...he just laughed

[harleymc]

Tell your son to put me in a dress, like you I've worn them infrequently maybe I need to glam up a bit for the great afterparty.

[deprivedlol]

HA   

[Bizkits]

I'm with you. I want a party for a funeral....I want my friends dancing and drinking and having a good ol time! In fact, bury me with some mardi-gras beads! (But hopefully that occasion won't happen for a good while lol)

[deprivedlol]

Sounds like a great idea...many many years from now though   

[drewm]

Great post! ***** < 5 stars!

[deprivedlol]

Thanks!