POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: delilah07 on September 15, 2021, 06:51:13 pm

Title: I realized why I feel stupidÖ
Post by: delilah07 on September 15, 2021, 06:51:13 pm
I was taught that I was. When I became HIV positive no one wanted to know me or even touch me. Imagine years without being hugged. Sure my Mom hugged me, but even she would say things that made me feel limited in time.
Iíve been positive for 26 years. I was told that I had two to five years at my first doctor visit.
So I didnít bother with education or learning anything because I just wanted to drink and forget. I spent money beyond what I could afford to.
Now Iíve been married for 17 years. And I have a daughter. Itís been difficult to adjust to normal. Especially after being ignored or ostracized for so long due to my health.
But I made this awesome cake today. I cried as all this came rushing at me all at once. Memories of never having baked a cake because no one would dare eat what my HIV positive hands had made.
My daughter is not HIV positive. But she has eaten thousands of meals I made. Including the experiments. Lol.
I know people go through things. I just hope that one day we have a cure. I hear so many reasons why there will never be one. But I also was laughed at when I told a nurse that one day Iíll have health insurance and work. So I have hope.
Title: Re: I realized why I feel stupidÖ
Post by: harleymc on October 17, 2021, 04:41:35 am
I rarely come onto this part of the forum, so apologies for leaving your post unanswered for more than a month.


Anyway it's lovely that your home baked cake was so much more than a cake. 

It's interesting the milestones that set us free from the brainwashing.