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Author Topic: in really big big trouble  (Read 11730 times)

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Offline InBigTrouble

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in really big big trouble
« on: December 24, 2006, 11:23:59 pm »
Hi, i want yo congratulate all of you for the wonderful work you are doing.

I am male and for the past week i have been dying with anxiety. to make a long story short, i have been having sexual encounters with prostitutes in singapore since august 2003. till now i have had 11 encounters, where all were with condoms. However, in many occasions i was so drunk that i could not erect properly and ejaculate. I remember that on 2 different occasions i could not erect properly and the pros removed the condom. after that i believe we had a brief vaginal sex (not more than 5 minutes).

The probem is that i have just started been worrying since i need to apply for work permit and stuffs..and to make matters worst, i have  recently been offered a job.

My lasst sexual encounter was in begining of june. i remember i got fever after 1 or 2 months after that but i dont remember if i had any 'hiv symptoms' after any of the 11 encouters since i did not and i was concerned about hiv at that time.

Now (december 2006), i just for swollen lymph nodes but could not (or i assumed i could not) find any. however, it seems i have a kind of a rash on my thighs. i dont fall ill very often.

the thing is that i'm very very very stressed right now. dont know what to do. im planning to take the test on this coming wednesday. I very afraid of the results and pretty sure it will be positive. in case it is positive, imy life will be over. i had so many plans for the future. i will always regret that fact that 20 mins of fun have ruined my life. very very depressed.

please help.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2006, 04:17:41 am »
Excessive drinking and sex don't mix. You should be wearing a condom for all vaginal and anal sex. Since symptoms are no way of diagnosing HIV, you'll need to test.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2006, 09:05:20 am »
As Rod has said, mixing excessive drinking and casual sex is a very dangerous combination. You can have all the sex you want and with whomever you choose as long as you always use a condom for vaginal and/or anal intercourse.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's significantly harder to transmit from female to male. But lower risk is not the same as no risk. So yes, you do need to get tested at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident.

Hopefully you test negative but only an HIV test can tell you for sure. You also need to learn from these experiences. Condoms everytime. No exceptions. And if excessive drinking is an ongoing problem for you, then get some help with that.

Good luck with your test.
Andy Velez

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2006, 12:03:25 am »
yea i know i did a lots of bad things...and now my life is going to be over..

i had one question though.

Is it possible to have unprotected sex with an infected femal and still be tested negative after the 13 weeks period.

I feel disgusted and angry with myself coz i am going to lose my job, my reputation, and everything...just screwed...

thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2006, 06:52:29 am »
InBigTrouble, you can drop the drama. If you would have used a condom, you wouldn't be here acting like a Soap star. Take the text at thirteen weeks past your last unprotected sex and wait for the results. 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2006, 07:51:00 am »
Anything other than getting tested is guessing and HIV is not something to guess about.

You need to learn from this experience. You can have as much intercourse as you like and with whomever you like as long as you use a latex condom everytime. No exceptions! 

If you stay productively busy during the waiting time to get tested it can pass more quickly than you may imagine.

Get tested at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident for a reliable result.

Good luck...and keep those condoms handy. And use them!

Andy Velez

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2007, 05:22:25 am »
hi there.

I really appreciate your answers but i really need help here. I'm just freaking out.

My hiv test is due very soon and this is very very scary. I'm pretty sure that i have hiv. As weird as it may seems, I have been seeing signs everywhere, like tv ads, newspaper ads, radio ads,..just everywhere. To add on, since lst week i have been really bad bad dreams at night ( maybe i was under so much stress).

I really dont know what i will do when i'll get the results. I mean life wont be the same. I'm most scared of what im going to lose - A dream job + being deported back to my country + facing my parents + my girl + many other things.

I'm just so scared right now. I'm hoping that i can get some words of comfort from you. Everytime i hear hte words hiv or aids, i just freak out and my head start aching.

I'm really sorry if i am going off subject here but i wanted to talk to someone but could find anyone who would understand me and the stress am going through.

I'm just very stressed right now. Please help.

Thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2007, 05:53:19 am »
The ads have always been there. You just didn't notice because you thought it could never happen to you. Again symptoms or lack of symptoms is not a way to diagnosis hiv infections. As you said in your first post you're dieing of anxiety. You need to relax, keep busy and have the test.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2007, 08:18:27 am »
Thanks for the quick reply.

When i think about it, it's true. the ads were always there....it's just that i did not noticed them so often.

I will be going for the test soon. Just waiting to here from the job company. If everything goes fine, i'll get the job. Otherwise, I'll be deported (which is most probably what will happen and thats why im scared).

I have one last question though. Is it possible to have unprotected vaginal sex intercourse with an infected woman and then still remain negative. I know the virus transmission is difficult....but how difficult?

I really appreciate the time and concern you all are devoting to worried people like us.

May god bless you.

Regards.

Offline Ann

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #9 on: January 02, 2007, 09:25:49 am »
In,

My own partner and I were together for a year and a half, not using condoms, before we found out I was hiv positive. We're still together over seven years later and he's still hiv negative. We DO use condoms NOW, but we didn't in the beginning.

However, it is possible for one unprotected time to be unlucky. This is why you MUST make sure condoms are being used. If you're too drunk to stay hard or remember whether condoms were used or not, perhaps it's better to avoid sex in these situations.

I do expect you to test negative. However, testing is the only way to find out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #10 on: January 02, 2007, 09:53:30 am »
Thank you very much Ann. Your reply was very encouraging.

I know i have an alcohol problem and thats why i have now quit alcohol. I somehow managed to stop alcohol since july 2006. Though i'm much more responsible now, my future career still depends on the hiv test.

I do remember i used condoms in my encouters. However, for the 2 occasions which were unprotected, the intercourse lasted not more than 5 mins each and i did not ejaculate.

Well, will see how it turns out.

I believe that the weird dreams i have been having are due to being stressed.
Not trying to go out of subject here, but can dreams be regarded as premonitions or bad omen?

Thank you.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2007, 06:54:09 am »
Hi.

I agree my previous question was a bit 'off-topic and stupid' and hence no one replied to me.

However, I have been having bad bad dreams since i have started to get stressed about the hiv issue. But now i have started to see my dead grandma in my dreams, which is very weird.

To make matters worse, last week i went for a medical test for the company.
There was chest xray, blood pressure and urine test. however, there was no blood test involved...which is weird since either the company does not require blood test or the doctor forgot about it.

I was supposed to get my results today. But when i phone the company, they said that the doctor has not sent my report yet....which is now making me more anxious. What if doctor found that something is wrong?

Does anyone know what is the urine test?

Thanking you in advance.


Offline Ann

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2007, 07:36:34 am »
In,

I can never understand why people allow medical tests to be performed, don't ask what they are for, then expect others to have a crystal ball to tell them what the test was. A urine test could be many, many different things. If you want to know what the test was for, ask the doctor who ordered it.

Dreams are simply your subconscious telling you about your emotional state - not your physical state. You're very anxious and it's hardly surprising that you're having weird dreams. If you want to know more about your dreams, you'll have to see a therapist. This isn't a dream forum.

An hiv test now would be conclusive in your situation. Go get tested and put this behind you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2007, 12:12:06 pm »
The urinalysis is used as a screening and/or diagnostic tool because it can help detect substances or cellular material in the urine associated with different metabolic and kidney disorders. It is ordered widely and routinely to detect any abnormalities that should be followed up on. Often, substances such as protein or glucose will begin to appear in the urine before patients are aware that they may have a problem. It is used to detect urinary tract infections (UTI) and other disorders of the urinary tract. In patients with acute or chronic conditions, such as kidney disease, the urinalysis may be ordered at intervals as a rapid method to help monitor organ function, status, and response to treatment. The above are screenings are included with drug testing. Your doctor may test you for all or some. When you did your urine sample was someone watching or was the water shut off in the restroom and did they stick a temperature label on the outside. If they did they are checking you for drugs, if they didn't they were doing the above.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2007, 01:26:37 am »
Thanks Ann and Rapidrod, your answers have been very encouraging.

Well, the urine test was not monitored at all. The nurse told me to go to the toilet and pee in a plastic cup. No one followed me for monitoring.

Then when i came back to the clinic, she took a kindof colored strip paper about 10 cms long and dipped it in the plastic cup for about 2 seconds. Thats all she did. She did not collect urine or anything as she told me to throw the remaining urine in the toilet.

I'm still waiting for my results and still very scared since the company has not contacted me yet.

I sincerely hope that everything will be ok.

One more question, i just wanted to ask if people living with hiv can find jobs (not trying to offend anyne in here). It's just that do companies in most countries have specific regulations about that.

Thanks again.

Take care.

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2007, 05:09:25 am »
She's just doing a urinalysis using the urine dipstick--that was the strip with all the colored pads on it.  The pads correspond to:  glucose, bilirubin, ketones, specific gravity, blood, protein, urobilinogen, nitrites, leukocytes.  They are just looking for various abnormalities--Rod named more information, so I will not be redundant.  Anyhow, it is a very routine medical test.

Yeah, HIV postive people can find jobs.  I am speaking for the US to say that it is illegal to discriminate for that condition.  Employers cannot even test you for it or ask you about it.  I have had jobs when I was HIV positive--all in health care--first as EMT, then lab assistant, then as an MT.  So it isn't impossible to have a job, not even in health care (I still get people who have shock about positive health care workers being "allowed" to work).  That's not to say there isn't still idiotic workplaces, though.
DISCLAIMOR--I am speaking for the states, not other countries, which may have different regulations regarding employment.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2007, 05:44:08 am by Coffeechick88 »
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2007, 12:01:34 am »
Thanks a lot for the replies. Really appreciate it.

The thing is i went for the mentioned test last last thursday (28th December 2006). there were public holidays on 1st and 2nd. However, till today (6th January 2007) i have not received any report yet. I also had chest x-ray done. I so scared that maybe the doctor found something wrong with me while doing the urine test.

I have lately been feeling some numbeness and twiching in my arm. dunno if it is due to stress or something else. But i also notice that whenever i calm down or not very stress, the twiching disappears. Maybe the mind is playing tricks.

I wanted to ask if the above describe situation is typical of hiv symptoms. (i am aware that symptoms or lack of symptoms do not mean anything...but still..)

thanks a lot.

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #17 on: January 06, 2007, 01:36:24 am »
LEAVE THE DRAMA TO....

(THANKS ACINKC!)

[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #18 on: January 06, 2007, 03:52:43 am »
InBigTrouble, the answer to your question is NO...

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #19 on: January 06, 2007, 04:26:15 am »
thanks a lot guys.

I have been asking lots of questions lately. First because of the anxiety thats killing me and second because the report for the medical test is taking such a long time to reach the company i'm applying to.

Thanks again.

Offline Ann

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #20 on: January 06, 2007, 08:06:55 am »
In,

When medical professionals find something to worry about in lab tests or x-rays or whatever, they don't put that patient's file on the bottom of the pile and get to it eventually, they prioritise and get a hold of the patient as quickly as possible.

No news is generally good news. Don't forget what time of year it is - not only are people still catching up from the public holidays, but there are often staffing shortages as people are out with colds and flu.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2007, 01:59:40 am »
Thanks a lot and your answers are always well appreciated.

Well, today is monday (8th january) and still no news from the company and the medical test. My friends were saying that sometimes xrays analysis take quite some time. I hope that this is the case and i get a call from the company soon.

Regarding the swollen lymphs questions, can someone tell me how big should they be to be considered swollen. The reason being, i have noticed that i have two small lumps just behind and below both my ears. I am not sure if these are swollen lymphs. These lumps have been there for quite a long time. Actually, i cannot feel them or see them in a mirror when i look straight ahead but i can certainly feel them when i turn my head to left or right side. These 'lumps' have been bothering me so much that everytime am on the streets i am constantly looking at other people's neck and comparing with mine.

Thanking you all in advance,
Cheers

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2007, 04:29:54 am »
Quote
Regarding the swollen lymphs questions, can someone tell me how big should they be to be considered swollen.
  Your doctor can.

Offline Ann

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #23 on: January 08, 2007, 07:23:39 am »
In,

Everyone's lymph nodes are slightly different shapes and sizes. Touching them all the time can make them swell and keep them swollen. Keep your hands off them and see your doctor if you are concerned about them.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #24 on: January 12, 2007, 03:48:08 am »
ok..here is the thing...i have some good news as well as bad news.

The good news is that i got the job offer at the company. However, the med test i did before was xray and urine. Well, i guess urine and xray was ok since the company accepted me. But i was diagnosed to have high blood pressure. My bp was 142/90. The doc said it is very high. I am 23 yrs, regular size...not thin...not fat. Body-Mass-Index of 21. I found out that the report took long time because the doctor asked me to come and have my bp checked again. Well, on 2nd visit to doctor, my bp had improved but am still on medication. I wanted to ask if high blood pressure has anything related to HIV symptoms. IS that a symptom?

Well, the bad news is that i will soon have to take the hiv test while applying for my employment pass and if the result is bad...i will be deported and lose the job.

Recently, i have been feeling that my tongue is a bit itchy in the centre. However when i look in the mirror i cant see any pimple or anything unusual. Also, these past days my hands and feet have been feeing numb and tingling...as if my veins were moving for a couple of seconds. Maybe this is due to the stress i have been undergoing but im not sure. Are these hiv symptoms?

I really need support.
To help myself, i remind myself of the first time i had unprotected sex with the sex worker (singapore). In this encounter, i told her beforehand that this was my first time having sex and i was drunk and i could not erect properly. Because i could not erect properly, she took off the condom and had sex for 2mins maybe. I really hope that she did that because she was fine and thought that since this is my first time..i would be fine too. I really hope so.

The second time i had unprotected sex...the same scenario happened. But the duration was much less than 2 mins. After the sex, she was the one who asked me if i was ok. I hope that she was ok and was concerned.

Thats all the unprotected sex i had. I'm really sorry for that. And i hope that the hiv test will turn out ok.

I'm sorry that the post is so long but i am really looking forward to your support.

Thank you for you great work.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #25 on: January 12, 2007, 03:51:50 am »
Oops, i forgot to add.

when i went to the doctor, i shoed him the 'lump' near my ear and asked him it this was usual.

He told me that he could not see anything.

I hope thats good enough.

Thanks.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #26 on: January 13, 2007, 09:13:29 am »
now this is very scary.......it has been 24hrs since my last post and still no replies yet. Does that mean my case has no hope? im freaking out....

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #27 on: January 13, 2007, 11:09:10 am »
NO answers means, that there is nothing more to add.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #28 on: January 14, 2007, 03:45:03 pm »
Hi again.

I just wanted to ask the following and get an idea of how big is the risk.

Well, what will be the risk of contracting hiv if while removing the condom after having sex with a hiv+ woman, the fingers touches the penis ?

Thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #29 on: January 14, 2007, 04:06:26 pm »
ZERO. You can't get infected in that manner.

Offline InBigTrouble

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #30 on: January 27, 2007, 10:21:57 pm »
Hi again,

Can someone please explain what is meant by "easy bruising" and "peripheral neuropathy" ?

I read about those a lot on several websites...but have not got any specific idea about what they mean or how are they related to HIV.

For the past 2 weeks, i have been experiencing like my veins in the arms ad legs "moving or vibrating" for 2 - 3 seconds. It's not painful though. Is this pn?

Thanks.
God bless.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: in really big big trouble
« Reply #31 on: January 27, 2007, 10:24:17 pm »
Read the lessons, the links are found in the "Welcome" thread. It will explain it to you.

 


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