--- Quote from: Dogman on September 01, 2023, 05:32:42 pm ---I like to read all your normal posts about doing normal things. I've struggled greatly since my diagnosis ( almost 12 months ago ). I struggle to switch it off and while I haven't had a day off work, have still done what I always did, it's there like a cloud over my head. I read my charts and there's the word, "DISEASE", I said to my doctor, I don't feel sick, I have not been sick, the meds are doing their job, my general metabolic health isn't perfect, but it's not bad. So why am I "DISEASED"? I have a virus in me, one that's been knocked on its ass by the drugs. I'm sure I have other viruses in me. I get anxiety whenever there's a letter from my insurance company, or a new message in my on-line chart. I'm sorry, I'm having another down day - I feel my future has been sabotaged and taken away - when I could have prevented it. I know these are stupid thoughts. Just venting and saying thanks at the same time for your normalcy.
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Hey now who are you call normal??? Listen in all seriousness I understand exactly what you’re going through. The reason these forums exist is because luckily those who came before us also knew that it takes time, and community, to truly learn to cope with this. You say “diseased” but I’d counter “blessed”- how many other afflictions have such effective treatment available. I know it’s preferable to have no diseases, but if you have to have one, I’d say HIV is not the worst.
Sending you virtual hugs of support, and remember we meet in just over an hour for our virtual support call. Just PM your email address if you’d like to join.
Dogman:
--- Quote from: numbersguy82 on September 01, 2023, 05:40:46 pm ---Hey now who are you call normal??? Listen in all seriousness I understand exactly what you’re going through. The reason these forums exist is because luckily those who came before us also knew that it takes time, and community, to truly learn to cope with this. You say “diseased” but I’d counter “blessed”- how many other afflictions have such effective treatment available. I know it’s preferable to have no diseases, but if you have to have one, I’d say HIV is not the worst.
Sending you virtual hugs of support, and remember we meet in just over an hour for our virtual support call. Just PM your email address if you’d like to join.
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Thank you, and I apologize for transgression of assuming any form of normalcy :)
Towel:
--- Quote from: numbersguy82 on September 01, 2023, 07:10:52 am ---It’s interesting, I’ve tried meditating unsuccessfully for years because I thought I had to do it a certain way. It wasn’t until I realized that truly it was more about being still and alone with my thoughts, that I started enjoying it. Now I try and start my mornings with doing just that… while the coffee brews 🤣
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Meditation is not something that happens in time. It happens instantaneously, the moment you decide to let go. It doesn’t matter if you sit for twenty minutes or two hours, the meditation always occurs in the very first instant you stop insisting that something is missing.