Author Topic: Halloween Jokes/Riddles/Poems (Read 7724 times)

rondrond · « **on:** October 25, 2009, 11:15:39 am »

Bats

By day the bat is cousin to the mouse.
He likes the attic of an ageing house.
His fingers make a hat about his head.
His pulse is so slow we think him dead.
He loops in crazy figures half the night.
Among the trees that face the corner light.
But when he brushes up against a screen,
We are afraid of what our eyes have seen:
For something is amiss or out of place
When mice with wings can wear a human face.

rondrond · « **Reply #1 on:** October 25, 2009, 02:40:29 pm »

What day of the week do Halloween Monsters eat their Candy?
On Chewsday!

rondrond · « **Reply #2 on:** October 27, 2009, 02:20:28 pm »

Which Halloween Characters eats the quickest?
The Goblin.

rondrond · « **Reply #3 on:** October 28, 2009, 01:54:20 am »

Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!

rondrond · « **Reply #4 on:** October 28, 2009, 01:12:30 pm »

Why is Halloween so fun for Ghouls?
Because Halloween is a Ghoul's Best Friend.

Speaking of 'ghouls'

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

rondrond · « **Reply #5 on:** October 29, 2009, 12:54:08 pm »

Why are skeletons so calm, cool and collected?
Because nothing gets under their skin.

leatherman · « **Reply #6 on:** October 29, 2009, 01:03:22 pm »

Quote from: rondrond on October 29, 2009, 12:54:08 pm

Because nothing gets under their skin.

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with

rondrond · « **Reply #7 on:** October 29, 2009, 01:15:54 pm »

Why aren't Skeletons Stunt Men?
They don't have the guts!

rondrond · « **Reply #8 on:** October 30, 2009, 05:35:58 am »

Twelve Days of Halloween

On the first day of Halloween my true love gave to me
a pumpkin on a vine

On the second day of Halloween my true love gave to me
two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the third day of Halloween my true love gave to me
three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the fourth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the fifth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the sixth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the seventh day of Halloween my true love gave to me
seven bloody knives, six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the eighth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
eight freaky ghosts, seven bloody knives, six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the ninth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
nine cannibal zombies, eight freaky ghosts, seven bloody knives, six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the tenth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
ten ugly witches, nine cannibal zombies, eight freaky ghosts, seven bloody knives, six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the eleventh day of Halloween my true love gave to me
eleven frightened screams, ten ugly witches, nine cannibal zombies, eight freaky ghosts, seven bloody knives, six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

On the twelfth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
twelve seductive vampires, eleven frightened screams, ten ugly witches, nine cannibal zombies, eight freaky ghosts, seven bloody knives, six rats a’ biting, five caramel treats, four murderers, three scary movies, two costumes and a pumpkin on a vine

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #9 on:** October 30, 2009, 04:48:17 pm »

How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_to_find_a_masculine_halloween

leatherman · « **Reply #10 on:** October 30, 2009, 06:08:35 pm »

Quote from: GSOgymrat on October 30, 2009, 04:48:17 pm

How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son:

so basically dressing up like any of the village people will make me look like a stripper

ROFLMAO

rondrond · « **Reply #11 on:** October 31, 2009, 02:02:59 am »

I like costumes with lots of flowing material: Sultan, Vampire, Wizard..

There were a few awkward moments when after hours was over and the group would go eat at the 'Ol Southern Pancake House'

I had to go in full costume as I didn't have a thing on underneath

What do you get if you cross a bat with a bag of chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night!

leatherman · « **Reply #12 on:** October 31, 2009, 10:12:27 am »

Quote from: rondrond on October 31, 2009, 02:02:59 am

Snacks that go crunch in the night!

last night I awoke about 3am hearing
"crunch crunch crunch. smack smack smack. crunch crunch crunch"
so that's also what you get when your cocker finds the "hidden" bag of chips in the middle of the night.

(at least he was a "good boy" and was sharing with his two brothers

)

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #13 on:** October 31, 2009, 11:45:50 am »

Quote from: rondrond on October 31, 2009, 02:02:59 am

There were a few awkward moments when after hours was over and the group would go eat at the 'Ol Southern Pancake House'

IHOP, 3:00 am

Quote from: rondrond on October 31, 2009, 02:02:59 am

I like costumes with lots of flowing material...

Remember, it's not a costume if you wear it every day.

Robert · « **Reply #14 on:** October 31, 2009, 12:24:04 pm »

so ford, are you in LA today?

Don't forget, we want pictures~~

rondrond · « **Reply #15 on:** October 31, 2009, 12:25:18 pm »

Quote from: GSOgymrat on October 31, 2009, 11:45:50 am

IHOP, 3:00 am

Memories!

Remember, it's not a costume if you wear it every day.

Well, it all depends on how you accessorize...

rondrond · « **Reply #16 on:** October 31, 2009, 12:31:24 pm »

Why did the Witch put her broom in the washing machine?
She wanted a clean sweep!

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #17 on:** October 31, 2009, 12:42:47 pm »

Quote from: Robert on October 31, 2009, 12:24:04 pm

so ford, are you in LA today?

Don't forget, we want pictures~~

Yep, I'm in LaLa Land. I've got my camera batteries charged and will post pictures. It probably won't be until Monday because after being up late tonight I have to get up at 6:00 am to go on an all day hike up in the mountains.

rondrond · « **Reply #18 on:** October 31, 2009, 01:07:32 pm »

If you go hiking in costume, you won't need your camera, the local paper will post the required pics under 'strange sightings'

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Author Topic: Halloween Jokes/Riddles/Poems (Read 7724 times)