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Author Topic: Aging.  (Read 7945 times)

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Offline wolfter

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  • Posts: 5,470
Aging.
« on: March 09, 2012, 09:46:11 pm »
Just a curious question about aging.  I've been noticing that so many of straight contemporaries here seem to be about depression when getting close to that 50 mark.  My oldest brother turns 49 this year and he's even being strange about it.

Is it just natural to appreciate aging, or was it an acquired thing.  I'm only a few years away and have no dread at all.  I guess I'm just amazed and grateful to still be here.

For those who already hit 50, did it mentally affect you?  Just wondering if this is another crisis I get to look forward to..... ;D ;D ;D

Wolfe

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Aging.
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2012, 01:28:48 am »
Well, there was a time when 50 seemed ancient to me.  :o

Of course, now I will be 55 in a few months, so that is long passed.

I think, if anything, I found turning 50 liberating. I really don't care much about what other think of me.

I also find myself very content with who and what I am, where I am in life and what my goals are (yes, I still have them.)

I hope you find it as liberating as I did.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Theyer

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  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Aging.
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2012, 04:58:38 am »
 I think our time / age events are not consistant with the general populace. If you spent your 20,s experiencing the grief and fear off friends dying,your 30,s struggling with illness finding health in your 40,s then you approach your 50,s with a life story  shared by few.

In the time line off 24 hours I can go from age depressed to age proud.Depends mostly on levels off energy and pain.

"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Gary S

  • Member
  • Posts: 60
Re: Aging.
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2012, 10:51:51 am »
I was diagnosed in '88 at age 32. I immediately got a "corporate" job (for insurance) and worked my way up to a senior level postion with high stress, long hours and big pay to match. While on my career path, I took all the awful early drugs (AZT, the dreaded D's- DDI, DDC, D4T, Crixivan etc. etc. etc.)

It was at the age of 50 I seemed to hit a wall and was finding it difficult to keep up the grueling pace due to exhaustion (along with a host of other issues like headaches, nueropathy, weight loss, kidney stones, diarrhea, etc. etc. etc.)

I stayed in the role and performed well for another 4 years before i went out on disability and essentially retired. That was 18 months ago (I'm 55 now), and I'm beginning to think I pushed it too long after my body said ENOUGH ALREADY!!.

I'm still battling fatigue although it's manageable as long as I listen to my body and  rest when it tells me I need to. So to your question, 50 seemed to be the line in the sand but I cant say if it was the age, the job or the past drugs...or maybe it was the combination.

All that being said, given that in 1988, I was told I have 18 months and to get my things in order, EVERY DAY has been a blessing.

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,048
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Aging.
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2012, 11:20:13 am »
Naw.... for me 5 yrs ago when I hit that 50 mark, I got better in body, mind & soul, no longer worried about all of the things I held so dear to me before.....

it's like the shedding of skin ( like a snake does), and every yr as I
get even older, I continue to do it again..

 ( out w/ the old  and in with the new)
and as Mark says, it's still very liberating to me to still be here on this earth

I'm gonna keep embracing my age, and hang around as long as I possibly can
at least until my body cannot do it anymore  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • Posts: 243
  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Re: Aging.
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2012, 11:29:27 am »
As far back as I can remember I've always thought the older you get the better life is. Didn't know the reasons at first but learned along the way. I think by fifty I reached the point where I really didn't care what other people thought. That had been building but matured (so to speak) around that time.

Part of my lack of fear of getting older may be because I've always been attracted to older men. When I was 20 if you were 50 I was in heaven. Around that age men seem to take time to enjoy being with another guy. Not that there's anything wrong with hot and heavy quick sex but being with someone who wanted to spend the evening and next morning with me was great. Plus they could talk about things and were interested in talking about things...other than the color of their next Polo shirt.

So on the whole...I think most people fear 50 because they begin to realize most of life has passed. The small minority who welcome it seemed to find this the best part of life and that they've just begun building on a foundation of a life lived....if that makes sense.
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Aging.
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2012, 11:40:20 am »
So on the whole...I think most people fear 50 because they begin to realize most of life has passed. The small minority who welcome it seemed to find this the best part of life and that they've just begun building on a foundation of a life lived....if that makes sense.

Makes perfect sense to me.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 24,793
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Aging.
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2012, 11:49:02 am »
The key to aging is to not sit around mindlessly analyzing what it means to get older.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,048
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Aging.
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2012, 11:52:28 am »
The key to aging is to not sit around mindlessly analyzing what it means to get older.

Well, I do like the new nick name you gave me a while back  "Crusty" I think it's a keeper  :-*
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Posts: 8,207
  • Positive since 1985, joined forums 12/03
Re: Aging.
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2012, 04:49:31 pm »


I don't know,... I kind of enjoy being 60 years old !  :)  Can't wait until I'm 62 !


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Aging.
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2012, 06:12:16 pm »
I dropped trou at the bar last night, or so I have been told.

Twice.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline phost86

  • Member
  • Posts: 54
Re: Aging.
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2012, 03:00:23 am »
I'm not taking it well at all. I'll be 50 this year and I look at my face and think am I aging normal or is my medication taking a toll on my body and face. I do care about what people think way too much and it drives my crazy...to the point of depression.
I can take aging but not knowing if it's the meds again, drives me crazy! I also think more on how my life would have been so much easier if I just loved myself more and insisted to the guy I was "In Love" with at the time to wear a condom. Even if it does not show on my face, in my mind...I'm scarred.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Aging.
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2012, 09:27:49 am »
Hi Phost86. I understand you probably didn't realise, but as someone who was not diagnosed before 1996, you should not be posting in the Long Term Survivors forum.

Please read the LTS Forum Welcome Thread, and thank you very much for your cooperation going forward.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,021
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Aging.
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2012, 09:51:41 pm »
I have no personal issues with getting older.  I definitely don't feel the way I thought a person my age would feel when I observed a few older people when I was younger.

I have to admit though that I also observed several older people who looked fabulous (my mother included) and were quite fierce when I was younger.

I will be 60 September next year and am looking forward to it the same way I looked forward to 30, 40 and 50.

 :D

"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Aging.
« Reply #14 on: March 12, 2012, 12:45:23 am »
I dropped trou at the bar last night, or so I have been told.

Twice.

Damn! If I had been there I would have tipped you.  8)

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline pointer165

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  • Posts: 46
  • I like this tribal avatar
Re: Aging.
« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2012, 12:02:09 am »
I'm 59yo now and will be hitting 60 in December. NEVER did I have any angst about turning 50yo.When you live with HIV, it changes your entire being and outlook to life ,way before you hit 50yo.So when that 50 does come along, you get on your knees and thank all the angels that helped you get there.All of my close friends are gone now, with the last one committing suicide last May 2011.The thing was he was not POZ but grew up in that world and was a "buddy" at GHMC and did so much volunteering.So just my family now and turning 60yo will be another turning point for me.I have lived almost 23 years being POZ and outlived all my friends, with HIV and non HIV..so I am here for some reason, yet to be discovered.

Cheers..

Tony(NYC)
Guamanian

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,470
Re: Aging.
« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2012, 12:22:01 am »
I guess being so young when diagnosed, I never got the reality of living life without this virus. 

 I'm just trying to get prospective on what to do next.  I'm too old to be young and to young to be old. 

wolfie
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

 


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