September POZ MAG -- Loves IT!!!

[Cuteguyplus]

No.

I'm a spider killer

bry

FABULOUS!  I LOVE YOU!

[bryonut]

  yay for love!

[newt]

It is not his fault that he does not share in your bitter. twisted and jaded views on the world, life and life with HIV.  No, he hasn't seen the darkside like some of us have and fortunately with the med regimines that are available to us today, probably will not.

Last week I went to Exmoor, and took some people up on the moor, stunning it was but tough walking, technically it's a mountain, Malsmead Hill, was sunny but the mist cam down, wet, 0 visibility, tough walking, needed to get the compass out, n at one point we were walking blind up to our ankles in bog, but we got home and back to the sunshine down the hill okay. Tough, real, but not bitter or twisted.

I am a HIV realist and an optimist, I am a treatment optimist, but 30% of people starting Atripla/Sustiva will get side effects that interfere with their daily work/life/head, and even thoughone of the best treatments going, also one of the most troublesome and discontinued.

19 is an age not a generation.  I personally believe JS knows what he's doing, he's a media natural, but this thread ain't kinda about him anymore. This thread has been a craic read. But, I am now offended by association re: bitter and twisted. Even though this remark was not directed at me, its name calling and out of order.

HIV is like Niagara Falls, while you's boating in the water at the top, th spray is beautiful but if you go over the edge, there's no way back.

- matt

[AlanBama]

You're missing the point AJ.   We're not criticizing Jesse.   Hell, he's a 19 year old kid.   Our problem is with the editorial work (or lack of?) on the part of POZ magazine.

I wish Jesse nothing but a long and successful life in whatever he chooses to do.

I think the article made some negative reinforcements, and that disturbs me.
(such as the 'innocent victim, no responsibility' thing)

Alan

PS - be respectful when typing anything to Jan.   Period.

[Cuteguyplus]

Jan and I have spoken privately and are in total agreement with a lot of issues.  I think it awesome for you to come to her defense, but trust me when i say, the need is no longer existant.

Peace

[AlanBama]

Peace to you as well, AJ.

[Peter Staley]

tHEN BLAME MY DOCTOR, NOT ME.  BUT SEE, i GUESS YOU ARE JUST ONE OF THOSE GUY THAT HAS TO PICK AND PICK AND PICK.  YOU TOTALLY LOST THE POINT OF THE MESSAGE AND THERE YOU HAVE HAVE IT.  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MEET THE SMALLEST MIND ON THE NET.

AJ -- welcome to our forums.  I'm the founder of this site, and Jan (anniebc) is one of our forum moderators, along with Tim Horn, Andy Velez, and Ann (username "Ann").  You've found the busiest (and I think best) HIV-related forums on the web, and the primary reason for their popularity is the safe place we try to create here by using some heavy-handed moderation.  You'll learn the ropes pretty quickly, but you won't last long if you start trying to argue with a moderator after they've warned you about something you've posted.

Besides the use of all caps, telling another member that he has "the smallest mind on the net" is a personal insult, period, and we don't allow those here.  You will notice that the member who called Jesse a bugchaser was also warned.  If he had engaged in an argument with me about the warning, I would have given him a Time-Out.  Please read our Time-Out Policy here.

Peter Staley
Founder
AIDSmeds.com

P.S.  I actually agreed with most of what you said in your first post, but let's just keep this about the issues being discussed, and try our best not to launch into personal attacks or name-calling.

[Queen Tokelove]

Poor Jesse?!? Give me a break......

[northernguy]

..I dare say that a cleansing of the marketing and advertising departments of Smart + Strong might be able to get creative and solicit a different list of advertisers which include many giants that would be more than happy to support this publication.  Names like Eastman Kodak, Subaru, Ford, General Motors, Suzuki, Honda, Wal Mart, and many others who would be glad to advertise to the readership of this magazine, but alas, immagination is not only lacking, but rare in this day.

In SHOCK and AWE!

Given the amount of times posters have intimated to newbies that HIV will bankrupt you, rob you of your health, livelihood and kill you, its hardly surprising that the corporations you mention wouldn't view poz folks as a desirable demographic.  On the other hand for companies peddling HIV meds its a perfectly targetted publication.

(Spoken strictly as a marketing professional 

[DingoBoi]

NEVER WILL I BE so hateful and so "bitchy" towards anyone!!!! So don't worry about me ever becoming cynical or nasty! I would never criticize anyones life or way of being!

In the article you were quoted as saying “I’m not the butchest thing ever, but [at least] I’m not a flamer,” says Sanchez."   The flamer comment, to me, is a criticism of someone's life or way of being as if it is a bad thing.  Whether or not you actually feel that way, it was a poor comment to make and an even poorer decision for the magazine to publish which essentially equates very feminine gay males as a very bad thing to be. 

I found this one of the most disturbing things of all in the article, besides it being void of any depth, and the moderators posts here that this, and poz, are an inclusive environment when clearly it is not by their chastisements when their magazine encourages the exact same thing they are chastizing.. 

How would I feel if I were a very effeminate 'flamer' reading that article?  Probably like I didn't fit in anywhere, not even in a group that should accept everyone.

My friends are valuable to me and if my story can spread awareness in the teen community, I have reached my goal.

Sadly, I doubt many negative teenagers read poz magazine.  (ps peter:  POZ is still not in the dictionary here)

Another person in this thread posted "if he's HIV+, his story is as truthful as a 20 years survivor who's been to death's door. "

To which I would normally agree, except for the fact that his story is limited to being pretty, having sex without a condom and getting HIV (with a new car every year).  He hasn't 'done' anything.

Somehow, to me, that 'story' isn't worthy of a front page cover when there are people out there who actually are doing something and 'deserve' a spotlight.  When i do read the magazine, I look for inspiring stories.  Not a puff piece on a guy who's sole claim to fame for being on the cover is that he fucked without a condom.

His goals haven’t changed, though. “I want to look perfect,” he says. “I want to be perfect.” And that’s a wrap.

Those are quite some goals.

As another member said " I don't see how they really served Jesse or his story by doing the article in such a way that allowed his most superficial side to not just be reported but glorified.  "

If you want to be an activist a good place to come out would have been in your post about hiv on your myspace.  The post is quoted below

August 12, 2007 - Sunday
     

What do I have to say about HIV/AIDS....
Current mood: restless

          As a gay teenager I have to say that HIV has blemished my world. Being gay is hard as it is, but now we (as in gay males) have to fight off the stigma that all gays have the little bugger. It's a view that numerous people share, and with time it has diminished, but with the current rise of HIV in teenagers and young adults people are beginning to adapt the view that once seemed to be coming to an end.

At one point HIV cases seemed to decrease. The work of many advocates/activist was getting across to young American. Both straight and gay were taking precautions to lessen their risk of contracting the seed we so uncontrollably fear. In recent happenings it seems that the work of all those who are taking a stand against this epidemic has been flushed down the toilet. I still see a lot of awareness signs up and around the city, and much information is offered about the virus. Yet a lot of people continue to ignore it. I understand that in Miami a lot of the city is still influenced by the Latin view that if you don't talk about it everything is ok. Still that view is diminishing and soon HIV will be something to talk over the dinner table as we pass the arroz con frijoles.

The problem lies in the fact that HIV is somewhat being accepted… which don't get me wrong is good, but it's being accepted to graciously. It has become such a treatable disease that a lot of people are not worried about it. Well those who are informed are not worried because they feel that there is enough information and treatment out there to keep them alive. Then we have the other end of the spectrum; those who are not informed and are scared of it but relinquish to having unprotected sex because of the feeling, psychological affect, and because they want to show intimacy to their partner. I just sit here sometimes and wonder, "Wow, how difficult could this get?"

Yes, HIV is a chronic disease. You take your pill once a day (for most people its once a day) and you move along like normal. I mean some people don't need pills for years or ever because their bodies do a great job at fighting that virus. Everyone is different and that is what people need to understand. Everybody has a different immune system and each person will have a different reaction.

            The scariest part about this epidemic is the underground guys/girls who continue to spread the virus. It's absolutely inhumane and heartless but it happens. There are guys out there who continue to pass on the virus and consider themselves, "the seed givers". If a guy ever told me, "I am going to give you my seed," I would probably be like, "Your disgusting, get off of me, and get a life scum bag". I personally never have had a problem dating a positive guy. I haven't knowingly had sex with a positive guy, but I have kissed, made out, and have gone to second base with a positive guy. I mean in today's world it's inevitable! If you have had more than 10 sexual partners you most likely have slept with someone positive. As I was saying, these seed givers pass on the virus because they feel that they have the power of life in a sense. I can't help but to think these people want to play god. They feel that because they have the power to infect you with a life threatening illness they can determine whether or not you live on. That is just sick!

As a gay teenager I think HIV/AIDS will continue to play a major role in my life. A lot of people continue to think that gay males are to blame for most of the cases occurring each year, but people need to realize that it is happening in the heterosexual sector as frequently if not more. Have people not looked at Africa? Unless everyone there is a gay guy I doubt we are to blame for all the cases. Africa is right now suffering significantly and a whole generation of people can and will be wiped out if something is not done about this disease. Hundreds of children are dying because of AIDS. In the United States we have the luxury of keeping it under control as HIV. Yes! You heard me say, "Luxury!" If all those helpless people could live with HIV their whole life I think they would be happy knowing that they will live a life period. In the USA we have that luxury of being able to keep it under control, but unfortunately thousands of people are being robbed of their life by AIDS.

Each year that passes medical advances are made, and we come closer to a cure. It's astronomical how much has been discovered about this virus. It's impressive how many advances have been made in the field of HIV. It's heartbreaking how many have suffered because of this disease. For those who live with HIV it's important that you remember those who have died because of AIDS.

This disease has claimed the lives of fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, best friends, and acquaintances. Before HIV medication evolved to what it is today many people experienced the beating of AIDS. In a group of 10 friends one would be HIV negative. That one friend would see the declining state of health his friends faced. That one friend shed tears at 9 different funerals because of AIDS. That one friend had no choice but to burry his friends and watch hopelessly because he/she didn't have the answer. That one friend felt the thrashing of HIV/AIDS.

After hearing someone's personal encounter with HIV/AIDS I have to say that if you were to contract HIV. This day and age would be the perfect timing. Our medical advances are unbelievable. Personally I don't think there is a perfect time to get HIV. I mean I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy this disease, but if you were to get it there is plenty of resources, medication, and information in today's society.

To conclude this blog I have to say that I wish people would take precautions and take care when making decisions. It's undeniable that sex is a part of life, and as animals we need it, but incorporating a condom in your sexual pleasures won't hurt… it can save you from popping a pill.

I find alot in the post disturbing, most notably that as a poster-boy now for hiv, you aren't even 'out'. 

"As a gay teenager I think HIV/AIDS will continue to play a major role in my life."   As a poz teenager, I rather imagine it will.  Perhaps I missed it somewhere on your myspace that you are poz.

The fact that this was written just a few days ago is even scarier.  The fact that you are lying in it is shameful.   Poz has it's posterchild.  Cute and pretty on the outside, but all fluff on the inside... just like a marshmallow Peep™.

[Queen Tokelove]

Jesse says: I’m not the butchest thing ever, but [at least] I’m not a flamer....

Ok, Funny, when first meeting Jesse, I actually thought he was flaming, so much so that he could've been on fire. Not that I mind a flaming queen, I think they are cool. But am wondering that if he is so open here why not be just as open in MySpace? Since he seems to be pegged as the Poz Activist for his generation.

Dingo says: To which I would normally agree, except for the fact that his story is limited to being pretty, having sex without a condom and getting HIV (with a new car every year).  He hasn't 'done' anything.

I agree with this as well. The only thing he has seem to have done is get on the cover of Poz magazine in record time. And another thing he has done which is a first to me here, is to split the masses majorly. I must say I was even surprised by some forum members positive responses to his Poz article but hey to each their own I suppose.

Jesse says: You take your pill once a day (for most people its once a day) and you move along like normal. I mean some people don't need pills for years or ever because their bodies do a great job at fighting that virus.

I'm wondering where he is getting his information from. True, everyone's immune system is different when handling the virus but I have yet to hear of anyone who never needed to take the pills. If that was true, I think the researchers would be hunting that person down. I, myself am going on 10 years w/o meds but with a cd4 of 340, I know my time to pop that once a day pill is coming. I can only pray that once a day works for me.

Jesse says: In the United States we have the luxury of keeping it under control as HIV. Yes! You heard me say, "Luxury!" If all those helpless people could live with HIV their whole life I think they would be happy knowing that they will live a life period. In the USA we have that luxury of being able to keep it under control, but unfortunately thousands of people are being robbed of their life by AIDS.

Um, some people in the good old U S of A are struggling like those in Africa. Yes, the meds are here but they can't afford them, so they DO NOT have that luxury as you say. And those that pay out of their pockets are struggling to keep their meds. So on that point, I think you are talking out your ass, sorry.

But you know what all of this being said, it is prolly just falling on deaf ears. I think I am done here but what a shame that Jesse can talk the talk and those that don't know any better will listen and believe him. But would like to see Jesse years down the line after it has ravaged his body and see if he will still be saying the same old same old......*YAWN*

[MOONLIGHT1114]

Queen~  You and I must have been seperated at birth in some distant hood.  I AGREE with everything you have posted here, immensely.  I just read the MySpace bit above and cannot believe what it contained. 

Maybe I am simply a white middle-class hetero chick who doesn't truly understand the real meaning of "FLAMER."  Upon the arrival of Hurricane J a couple of weeks ago, I thought this was the Towering Inferno sweeping through the Forums.....but was even more appalled when........

After reading the bulk of the MySpace posting, I got the feeling that Jesse was NOT HIV+.  Um, was it in another thread (that MANY of you regulars to the forums obviously did not read from a couple of weeks ago) that Jesse scanned and posted his labs from Feb 2007?

I am confused as to WHY Jesse appears to be strongly trying to get a message across in MySpace WITHOUT including his own status?  I understand its a matter of privacy, but lately Jesse has seemed to be taking the "advocate role."  Why wouldn't he want to take this stance on MySpace, as well?

I am UTTER-ly confused here.  One pill a day?  ONE PILL a day?  I personally have taken 20 pills per day before, for six years even, and barely made it to the toilet many days.  Not everyone just "pops a pill", whistles dixie, and struts out the door.  Its NOT that simple.  There is so much more to having this virus than just popping a pill.  This broad generalization of treatment by someone so NEW to the virus makes me sick. 

Yes, WHERE are you getting your information from?!?!

I had actually calmed down about this entire "cover" subject over the past day, but now after finally reading the MySpace post.........Dammit, I am livid.

And then another mood has taken over here for me.  Yes, POZ has taken advantage of this guy.  I certainly don't think Jesse was there at the editing table, picking and choosing what paragraphs to include in his story.  When someone does a story on you, you sit and excitedly await the day it hits the stands.  You usually don't have a say in the final copy of the article.  Jesse, I can't believe you are so thrilled by how the magazine has portrayed you, like a Paris Hilton of Miami.  What about the true story here?  Forget about all of the materialistic, fancy-shmancy references to glam and lifestyle.....

What about living with HIV?  The story really has no substance to it....at all.   

[aupointillimite]

Wow.  That Myspace post was incredibly and amazingly fucked up.

You know, I'm getting the impression that HIV is being treated as some sort of fab little accessory that I could take off and on at will. 

One pill a day for most people.  Tee hee.

Chortle.

Move along like normal.

Heh heh.

'It's undeniable that sex is a part of life, and as animals we need it, but incorporating a condom in your sexual pleasures won't hurt… it can save you from popping a pill.'

Deep, bro.  Really deep.

You know, the next time MRSA almost kills me, I'll remember that the only inconvenience to having this disease is the horror (a horror that is clearly on the level of the Holocaust) of taking a pill.  A single, solitary pill.

Benj
(Who is wondering what they put into the water in south Florida.)

[Dragonette]

God what a mess of a post (the Myspace one). It's shocking on so many levels.

I think the main problem here begins when you have "ambassadors for community outreach" who are glamourized, made up, and photoshopped, and appear on Oprah, Tyra Banks, MTV etc. Someone like J sees them, and sees how glamorous they look, and doesn't realize that at 40, no way you will be able to look like that without very costly and serious surgical interference. And unlike Ford, who very courageously exposes his difficult journey to a great appearance, this won't be discussed.

Here is a shortcut to fame. HIV? too bad, let's at least make something out of it. After all, "the gilrs" already did and I get on fabulously with girls. Should I sit down to learn the facts first, or just come out with some babble about one pill a day, taking care of ourselves, heart to heart with your doctor, etc.

I can't blame Jesse, since people who are much more senior to him in this seem to be doing the same thing (i.e. podcasts from exotic locations, interviewing hollow cheeked natives, do you have access to medication, oh no, oh really?... and did you know, ladies, how important it is to feel as confident with your doctor as you do with your hairdresser, I mean really, just to be able to talk to him/her about all those intimate things a lady never tells... very useful stuff, you gotta love those pods about nothing, blogs with no substance).

Why NOT pick Jesse for the cover? He looks like the guys in the ads so no stark contrast there. He is not as articulate but not too off the mark from the positive babble we are fed by people who know much much better. Pick him now while her is still fresh to add a "realistic touch" to those ads. They pay several million US$ a year, the companies that put them out. How much did you get Jesse? Not everything is use and abuse, but a lot in the world of fab and glamour is, as the departed Anna Nicole could have told you. Too bad that the fake greedy culture that did her in has seeped into Pozland.

[Dachshund]

While I can understand and even empathize, continuing to savage Jessie by picking apart every word he has ever written will in the end serve no meaningful purpose. It's convenient and easy, but serves no real purpose.

I encourage everyone to do what Peter suggested and forward your thoughts about this issue to Sally Chew at Poz Magazine. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Do I expect her to respond? I doubt it. If nothing else, if she is as thoughtful a person as Peter suggested it just might get her thinking about why such a visceral reaction to her article. We all understand why, and I think that includes Peter and the rest of the moderators. I also think that is why Peter has chosen to let this thread remain open.

Look, we all know that Jessie is not going to return and try and defend the indefensible. We know enough about the kid to know he can't. What I am more concerned about is making Ms Chew understand what is wrong with her writing an article like this and the dangerous, superficial message it sends.

Peter has supplied the email address above and I invite everone along with me to extend Ms Chew an invitation to respond to the many questions and concerns that have been posed. If she chooses not to respond, then that folks is your real story.

Believe me, I share many of your thoughts about this nineteen year old kid, but why is this beginning to remind me of gay bashing?

[Peter Staley]

Sadly, DingoBoi has returned this thread to nothing more than a personal attack on Jesse, so I'm locking it.  You can be a real school-yard bully sometimes.  If folks want to continue a constructive discussion of POZ's editorial policies, please use the What do people think of Poz Magazine? thread instead.

Peter

Edited with apologies to Jonathan, who's name I incorrectly invoked.