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Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

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Recent Posts

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10
1
Living With HIV / Re: I couldn't have timed this better -- how I broke to news to my date
« Last post by leatherman on Yesterday at 08:51:29 pm »
Quote from: CalvinC on Yesterday at 07:12:29 pm
I somehow expect other people to think exactly the same, ie, No problemo. And that's naive. Yet at the same time, knowing what U=U etc means should help people with their stigma -- but I guess it doesn't.
people only really think about a concept until it affects them.

Look over in the AII? section. All those people had "sex" (it's in quotes because some of their stories just don't even count as sex. it's sad but not the issue for now. LOL) THEN after sex they come running here to learn about PEP, PrEP, and possible risks. Now they're really thinking about HIV for the first time and freaking out.

Or consider the people in the just tested poz forum. Not to negate their issues or devalue the time we happily spend trying to support those people, but sometimes those people freak out for a long time as they get used to being +, taking meds daily, and actually thinking about their entire health status.

the blunt truth is that HIV has only affected a teeny tiny portion of the population (africa aside). Even amongst high risk groups like MSM or injection drug users, the vast majority of people just don't have HIV....and they simply rarely if ever think about HIV and the ramifications.

I must say I never think what being diagnosed with cancer might be like. I don't have it and neither has any of my family. But the day my mom, or me!!!, gets it, you can be sure I'll be thinking about it then..... and freaking out about it. ;)
2
Living With HIV / Re: I couldn't have timed this better -- how I broke to news to my date
« Last post by Jim Allen on Yesterday at 07:31:39 pm »
Quote from: CalvinC on Yesterday at 07:12:29 pm
Thanks for the posts. Very sobering. And true. I need to get a grip.

I suppose that for me, never having had a single (physical) issue with my status, I somehow expect other people to think exactly the same, ie, No problemo. And that's naive. Yet at the same time, knowing what U=U etc means should help people with their stigma -- but I guess it doesn't.

There are a number of issues playing out here, for me, that have (I realize) nothing to do with this guy (though his hot and cold approach and his inconsistencies cuase me grief). In many ways, I've overblown all this and need to slow/calm down. After all these years of living, I should know better. But maybe it is that those old wounds -- from loving, from finding one's place in this large world -- still haven't healed.

I'll try to keep trying, and do better.

U=U is an empty and ill-conceived slogan without caring about combating real improvements or stigma in a meaningful way, IMO.  There I said it, and as unpopular as this may sound (most likely does) I stand by it, U=U is about as miserable as "clean" in my books and makes me want to vomit.

Anyhow, getting back to your situation, I am sorry things haven't worked out. Reading back the multiple threads I don't think HIV was or is the key issue, and I am sorry you got hurt. 

Hugs, and we're always here for you but if you want to chat one-on-one send me a PM. My door is always open for you.

 
3
Living With HIV / Re: I couldn't have timed this better -- how I broke to news to my date
« Last post by CalvinC on Yesterday at 07:12:29 pm »
Thanks for the posts. Very sobering. And true. I need to get a grip.

I suppose that for me, never having had a single (physical) issue with my status, I somehow expect other people to think exactly the same, ie, No problemo. And that's naive. Yet at the same time, knowing what U=U etc means should help people with their stigma -- but I guess it doesn't.

There are a number of issues playing out here, for me, that have (I realize) nothing to do with this guy (though his hot and cold approach and his inconsistencies cuase me grief). In many ways, I've overblown all this and need to slow/calm down. After all these years of living, I should know better. But maybe it is that those old wounds -- from loving, from finding one's place in this large world -- still haven't healed.

I'll try to keep trying, and do better.
4
Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors / Re: Feeling overwhelmed
« Last post by Tonny2 on Yesterday at 12:20:44 pm »




           ojo.           @ grasshopper… Wow!, It must be nice to go to the Caribbean… enjoy…hugs
5
Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors / Re: Feeling overwhelmed
« Last post by Grasshopper on Yesterday at 11:42:28 am »
No offence taken regarding the "shoe" remark. In my talks with her I was kind of pushing her into getting the eye removed. But I realised that its she that has to live with her disability. If her "looks" are the only thing she has left to hold on to...who am I to say different.

I was born and raised in The Netherlands and live near Amsterdam. My parents now live permanently in Curacao, and I have an aunt living in Aruba. I travel two to three times a year to the Caribean to visit them.
6
Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors / Re: Feeling overwhelmed
« Last post by Tonny2 on Yesterday at 11:01:11 am »



          ojo.             @ grasshopper, thanks for your reply. As a matter fact, the reason why it took me so long to get rid of my blind eye, is precisely the possibility of the phantom pain but, The pain that  I was getting was unbearable and daily so I decided to go under the knife. Now, after two months of my surgery, I am getting pain,, the same page that I used to get before the surgery, but it is not that often. Tomorrow, I will see the surgeon and see what he has to say.… Now, I’m not sure if I want to get a prosthesis or just wear an eyepatch and look like a pirate. I have a friend who wears an eyepatch and looks cool. My friend lost his eye since he was a three years old baby. She got an inoculation surgery. I think the surgeon took the whole eye out in my case, it was an evisceration, where they just took the iris, pupil, and the inside of my eye leaving just the sclera in, The white part of the eye.… Well, it is what it is, let’s see what the doctor says tomorrow… I am sorry I said that somebody has to be in somebody else’s shoes to know to really know what he/she is going through. Again, thanks for replying, and have a good trip. I think you live somewhere in Europe, don’t you?…hugs



PS. please Forget My typos my vision got worse and I couldn’t go back and check the post
7
Do I Have HIV? / Re: PEP Effectiveness
« Last post by Jim Allen on Yesterday at 05:45:19 am »
Yo, I read what you posted three times and see no reason for PEP whatsoever, or even testing outside of the yearly routine.

I think you would benefit and should consider PrEP going forward.

Look you have started PEP now, it's done, so continue the course of PEP and out-of-procedure test six weeks after finishing PEP with a blood draw (lab) HIV antibody test. A non-reactive result at that time would rarely change, and retesting at three months is generally unnecessary.

Don't post about this again, thank you!

8
Do I Have HIV? / Re: PEP Effectiveness
« Last post by bcnusa1976 on Yesterday at 04:51:51 am »
Yo sorry for not speaking clearly as Ingles is not my primary language.  I reread what I wrote and forgot to mention the condom on the floor was broken.  I do not know if it was his condom or someone who used room prior.
9
Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors / Re: Feeling overwhelmed
« Last post by Grasshopper on Yesterday at 03:17:23 am »
My aunt was warned by her surgeon about the possible phantom pain if her blind eye were to be removed. She still has the eye in, causing continuous infections in her tear ducts. She is also very vain ...at the age of 70....and worries about her appearance if the eye were to be removed. She eventually lost sight in both eyes, but only one is problematic. I am not the one walking in her shoes, so I have decided not to bring up the issue anymore and just listen. Next Friday I'll be crossing the Atlantic again and will see her soon.
Hang in there....if life gives you lemons make lemonade  ;)
10
Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors / Re: Feeling overwhelmed
« Last post by Tonny2 on May 26, 2024, 12:09:38 pm »



               ojo.          @ grasshopper. By the way, I was carrying my blind eye in a glass jar as you suggested on previous post. (I got my blind eye removed on march 19) and sadly, I’m still having the same pay. I used to have before the surgery…. it is what it is. Life goes on…hugs
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