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Author Topic: Should i Test Again ?  (Read 7263 times)

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Offline trumpeter

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Should i Test Again ?
« on: December 19, 2008, 06:33:19 am »
I am a married heterosexual male in the uk and was very fit and rarely ill. After having unprotected sex with a female friend back at the beginning of september, i started feeling really tired and aches and shooting pains all over my body about 1 week after this risk. I also lost my healthy appetite and developed a constant dry mouth and white coating on my tongue. I am always feeling very nauseous but have not had any vomit. My legs and arms have started with prickling and burning sensations which are worse at night and my left hand small finger has a numb feeling. I am finding it difficult to fall a sleep and am waking up with a sweat. My stomach is constantly making noises and I am bringing up lots of gas and have lost 10 pounds in weight. I know that you cannot rely on symptoms so went to my local GUM clinic for a full sexual health check up at 4, 7, 11, and 13 weeks past my risk and all results were negative and they said that my risk was very low and there was nothing else they could do for me and that i should visit my doctor. Since then my wife started with diarrhea and sickness and came out in itchy hives all over her body which come and go. Is it possible that my 13 week test could be false as i am still feeling very sick and that i have not finished seroconverting ? Would it be normal for these early symptoms to be going on for this long (107 days) and is this why my results are negative or would something have shown up by now ? I went to my doctor who did normal blood tests e.g flu, thyroid, diabetes etc, and all were ok. Any advice from the experts as to weather i should test again would be much appreciated.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2008, 08:01:56 am »
Trump, I don't see any reason to doubt the validity of your HIV tests. You are HIV negative.

Seroconversion symptoms, if they are going to occur noticeably at all,, do not show up sequentially nor are the symptoms you are reporting either indicative of same nor in any other way HIV specific. As for their kinship with whatever is occuring with your wife, I suggest you both need to have checkups with your doctor(s). You can't pass on something you don't have and you don't have HIV.

In addition to whatever is the real cause of your symptoms, what I suspect you do have is something very common to men who have strayed -- a big dose of guilt and anxiety. If that is so for you, you are just a dawg like a lot of us here. You went straying. You can't undo that so see it, accept it, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life.

I see no reason based in HIV science to consider yours to be an HIV situation.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2008, 08:19:37 am »
Andy, Thanks for the prompt reply. Just one more question. The doc at the GUM clinic said my risk was very low and has got me thinkin that they took my blood and did not test it because of costs etc. To me, I think my risk was a risk and I have since found out that the female I had sex with, has had quite a few partners and that if she was prepared to have unprotected sex with me, how many more unprotected partners has she had ?

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2008, 09:31:30 am »
Anyone else had these symptoms which last for this long (3 month) ?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2008, 10:01:18 am »
This is all "head stuff" going on with you. Doubts, anxiety, uncertainty. And as far as I am concerned don't change the basic fact that you have repeatedly tested negative, including at reliable testing points.

You're HIV negative. If you have ongoing troubling symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor. And bear in mind that stress can certainly play a significant role with those.
Andy Velez

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2008, 10:23:07 am »
Thanks Andy. Advice taken.

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2008, 12:15:41 pm »
I am still thinking of having another further test at a different clinic, as the first clinic are saying that there is nothing more they can do for me which will be exactly 16 weeks after my risk as my symptoms still persist and despite all the advice doctors and close friends have given me, I am finding it difficult to believe that all my symptoms are in my mind as my wife has forgiven me and we are getting on quite well considering my unfaithfulness after 23 years of marrage. Haven't felt this ill in all my life and finding it frustrating when i am constantly told that "its all in my head" and that the symptoms feel to physical for this explanation.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2008, 12:28:20 pm »
Trumpet, I have never said  your symptoms are "all in your mind." Quite the contrary. I always believe in checking that sort of thing out. What I am saying is that your test results are reliable. You are HIV negative and that whatever is going on is not about HIV. That's very different than saying it's all in your head.

In my opinion you ought to be discussing them with your doctor and getting to what the real source of the problems are.

Just because things haven't been properly diagnosed does not by default mean it's about HIV and your test results are unreliable, even though your mind maybe saying that to you. If you insist on re-testing all you're going to do is to add another negative to your collection of same.
Andy Velez

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2008, 12:50:15 pm »
Thanks Andy.

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2008, 12:54:42 pm »
Andy, have you or anyone else with your knowledge of HIV seen anyone have a positive result after their 13 week negative ?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2008, 02:05:55 pm »
Those rare exceptions usually involve estensive intravenous drug use, organ transplant, cancer treatment and other like situations which involve a severely depressed immune system. Otherwise 13 weeks is a firmly reliable testing point.
Andy Velez

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2008, 03:52:06 pm »
I am just finding it to much of a coincidence for me to have these symptoms and for my wife to get these itchy hives all over and diarrhoea and sickness after my risk when we are both normally fit and healthy. My feet and legs have a prickling and burning sensation as i am typing this.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2008, 05:52:17 pm »
You've had a conclusively negative test. You don't have HIV. As Andy has already advised you, see your doctor for you symptom concerns, they have nothing to do with HIV.

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2008, 07:01:31 pm »
Thanks Rapid. Have been to doctors a few times and he did some normal blood tests and were all ok. I was hoping that some virus would show up e.g mono or flu. so i could have an answer as to what was going on so i could put these hiv thoughts out of my mind. Still cannot help worrying. Thanks again for the reply.

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #14 on: December 20, 2008, 08:01:17 am »
Still feeling ill and keep coming out in a cold sweat. Can't seem to control my body temperature. As I've said before, nothing showed up on normal blood tests and never felt this bad in my life. Each day is a struggle and docs and friends just keep saying to pull my self together but i know my own body and i can tell somethings not right. I was a very fit person doing triathlons and mountain bike endurance events but now find it hard just walking. Fatigued constantly and feeling as though i could throw up all the time. Has anyone experienced symptoms for this long. I ask again if its possible that I'm still going through some seroconversion illness and is this why my results are negative. Sorry to be such a pest but no one seems to want to hear my probs. Even my GP is saying its due to stress but I know that I'm not that kind of person and feel as though something physical is wrong.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #15 on: December 20, 2008, 08:07:39 am »
We can't tell you anything beyond what we've said to you previously.

Since your doctor hasn't been able to find a cause, I have two suggestions. Get a second opinion from another doctor and see a therapist or other mental health professional to discuss what's going on.

This is not an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #16 on: December 20, 2008, 11:58:43 am »
Just another question for the experts. Could anyone tell me what test I would have had for HIV in the UK clinics and if they are accurate at 13 weeks. I have been reading posts about 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Gen tests and how accurate they are and don't know what test has been used for me. Thanx.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #17 on: December 20, 2008, 12:07:01 pm »
Trumpet,

I'm also in the UK and I can tell you that the tests you would have had will have been at least 3rd or 4th generation. However, the generation does NOT matter at three months. The generation only really matters in the first few weeks.

There may well be something going on with your body, but whatever that something is, it is NOT hiv! You do NOT have hiv!

Much of what you report are also symptoms of depression and anxiety. I'm going to second Andy's advice that you get in touch with a mental health care professional.

No, we're not saying "it's all in your head". The physical symptoms that depression can cause are all too real. Get yourself sorted out.

If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to before posting, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned. There's nothing more we can do for you here. You ARE hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #18 on: December 20, 2008, 12:46:02 pm »
Thanks Ann. Hope I can put this behind me. Its just that I wouldn't say I was depressed or anxious as I'm now getting on fine with my wife and looking forward to Xmas together but can't seem to shake this horrible sickly feeling and pains in my limbs off. Thanks again for replying to my posts.

Offline trumpeter

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #19 on: December 20, 2008, 01:13:47 pm »
My symptoms are really bad as in my first post and I would class my risk as high. How is the virus transferred from female to male. Does there have to be any visible open wound on the penis or can it get in through the urethra opening. Please answer this last question and I promise I will not post anymore and and take this as a warning to use protection IF ever, which is highly unlikely, this was to happen again. Thanks again for you patience Ann, Andy and Rapidrod.

Offline Ann

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Re: Should i Test Again ?
« Reply #20 on: December 20, 2008, 01:24:12 pm »
Trump,

It doesn't matter how high your risk was, the fact is that you have reliably tested hiv negative. You do NOT have hiv. If your symptoms had anything to do with hiv infection, you would have tested positive by now. You haven't. You do NOT have hiv!

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. The vulnerable areas on the penis are inside the urethra (where you pee from) and the underside of the foreskin, if you have one. I was with an uncircumcised partner for a year and a half before we discovered my positive hiv status. During that first 18 months we never used condoms - and he's still hiv negative. Your chance of becoming infected from just one time was slim at best. We were together a total of just over eight years and used condoms after my diagnosis. He's hiv negative to this day.

I'm giving you that time out I warned you about. We don't seem to be getting through to you that you ARE hiv negative. There's nothing more we can do for you here. Keep working with your doctor to find out what, if anything, is going on. Whatever it is, it is NOT hiv.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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