POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Rabbit on July 23, 2006, 08:25:35 am
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Dear advisers,
I have just heard from my lover a very bad news. He has been tests with two a positive tests. I went home this January and I had sex with him. We just kissed, mastubated and finally he put his penis in my mouth and ejaculated. I swallowed all his ejaculation. At that time he did not know he had been infected but just 1 month after (in February) he donnated blood and the screening result showed positive. He had another test 1 week after that and it showed postive too. The doctor confirmed that he was infected with HIV. He did not let me know until now because he thought I may get mad and could not concentrate on my recent exams in the UK.
I am sure that all the semen I got in my mouth had HIV viruses because he had infected before we had sex.
I did not give him oral sex, just suddently he put the penis in my mouth and I got all the semen. he did not give me oral sex. We did not have any anal sex.
My mouth was not sored and did not have problem at that time but I had eaten some tamerine, which was a bit irritated my mouth before I had sex with him. I also brush my teeth before the sex.
I wonder if I could be infected or not?
I am in the Uk now, and I worry so much for myself, for my love relationship and for my lover's health.
I tried to keep confident and calm my lover down. I ordered a self test kit from America at www.hiv-test-yourself.com. It will arrive to the UK this Monday or Tuesday. I do not know if it is reliable or not.
Could you please help us? What could I do now?
I thank you very much for your advice.
Tigercub
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Tigercub,
The good news is, it would be very unusual for you to become infected in this way. Receiving oral sex is no risk, and performing (as in your case) is very low risk (and that's taking into account the fact that he is hiv positive).
While this encounter is very low risk, it isn't NO risk. That said, normally I wouldn't even recommend testing over this incident, but if your anxiexty level won't leave you alone, then test at 6 weeks post exposure.
A negative result (which I fully expect you to recieve) would still have to be followed up with a 13 week test to be conclusive.
Use condoms for penetrative (anal or vaginal) sex, and you will avoid hiv infection.
But let me repeat, it would be very rare and unusual for you to become infected in this manner. The mouth is a very inhospitible place for hiv infection to occur. Saliva actually acts to inhibit hiv infection.
Morgan
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Morgan are you an expert now? Could you please look back at my post and make a comment. It would be appreciated. Thank you Thomas.
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Hi Cub,
I am sorry that your partner has tested negative. I'll say more about that but first let's address your concern.
You should get tested at 13 weeks after the most recent unprotected incident. We recommend always using an FDA-approved test. The one you have chosen is NOT FDA-approved. I suggest that you contact any HIV/AIDS service organization in your area and ask which test they recommend using.
As for your risk, giving oral is at the lower end of the risk scale. It's a bit higher if ejaculation takes place but still overall not considered to be high risk. Nevertheless, in the future I suggest you avoid having him ejaculate in your mouth and of course if you guys have intercourse whoever is the insertive partner must wear a latex condom every time. No exceptions.
There are many thousands of sero-dystonic couples worldwide, both gay and straight, who are having good lives together including sexually while protecting the status of the negative partner. You guys can learn to do that as well. It means consistently following some simple guidelines as I have mentioned above.
It's a challenging time to get through after your partner has learned he's positive. But you guys can do it. Keep your communications with each other as simple, direct and honest as you can. You will each likely have all sorts of feelings and thoughts about this new situation. You can maintain the intimacy in your relationship and even deepen it by talking honestly with each other.
You both might look into the Living with HIV section for information and further support. There are also some lessons which I think you might both find useful.
As for yourself, hopefully you will test negative. The important thing is that you are getting tested which is the smartest thing for you to do. We'll keep our fingers crossed for you. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Cheers,
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Thomasdue,
If you want to invite comments on your thread, it would be best if you posted in it, rather than someone else's.
Morgan
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Dear Andy and Morgan,
I do not know how much I should say thank you to you. I will inform you the test result next week.
I had sex with him in January and it is now July . It has been more than 6 months. I have not had any sex with any one after that. I am a student now. When I know my lover had HIV and worry about our future. How long can my lover live with ARV medicine? I know HIV incupation period is about 5-10 years, then AIDS is about 6 to 2 years. How about if my lover uses ARV drug? can he live 10 years more with me? I love him so much and I do not want to leave him alone with his bad fate. But I am scared of the virus. Can I live with him without being infected ?
About the SELF TEST I ordered from the USA. Can I beleive in the result from this test? I think 6 months is longer than enough for me to be tested.
One again, I thank you very much for your advice. I wish you well and all the best.
Tigercat
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Tiger,
Can you live with him without being infected? Absolutely. There are many, many people in relationships where one is positive and one is negative. With a few simple precautions, you can have a very fullfilling relationship together..... sexually and otherwise.
If you are in a relationship together, I would invite you to participate in the "Living With HIV" forum where these issues can be addressed in more detail.
Morgan ;)
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Dear Morgan,
Thank you very much. I go to LIVING WIT HIV to learn soom.
Tigercub
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Tigercub, I am sorry for the diagnosis of your partner. I will be praying your result will be negative. I wanted to write a note to let you know I have been HIV positive for about 6 years. I have a partner for the last 5.5 yrs and he is negative. I know you can find the knowledge and strength to have a normal, healthy relationship with your partner. As far as how long any of us will be around there is some encouraging news..Medicines today are very advanced, while there is still a lot of work to be done there is every possibility that he could live a full life. I will tell you there will be challenges along the way but with you by his side it will make the journey that much easier. I wish you both good health and invite you to PM me anytime in the future with questions, concerns or fears you may have.
warmest regards,
Kent
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Dear Kent,
Thank you very much for your lovely reply. I have just sent you a PM to keep in touch. I have just phoned my lover and he is very happy when I told him that he could live a full life with me by his side. He was moved to tear and told me that I should be friend with people like you. Of course, I should. I am very happy to find out this forum. This forum will be a friend of my life.
I wish you good health.
Best wishes,
TIGERCUB
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Dear All,
I have just tested with the KIT from the USA and the result is negative. It has been more than 6 months already sinceI had sex. I feel happy now and will work more to take care of my lover.
I wish you all the best.
Tigercub
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;D
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Tigercub,
Be sure that the test you used is FDA approved for an accurate result. If your test did not involve sending in a blood sample, it isn't FDA approved.
The name of the only approved home test I am aware of is "Home Access Express HIV-1 Test System" manufactured by Home Access Health Corporation.
Morgan
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Dear Morgan,
Thank you very much for your reply. I feel confident now. I will go to see my GP doctor soon for my annual checkup and this time I will have my blood tested for HIV and others (hepatitis B,C,A).
Best wishes for you in the USA.
Fond regards,
Tigercub