Hoping to reduce the stigma of HIV

[RegularGuy123]

I am a gay man who is in a relationship with a man for 12 years who is HIV positive, but I am negative. I would like to speak to people about their experiences in an attempt to reduce the stigma HIV positive people face. I hope to be able to speak with individuals who are HIV positive about their status, how they learned about their status, how we cope with relationships (personal and family), have you shared your status, and how you are coping and we can cope together.  Complete anonymity ensured.  I am hoping to be able to show people who are not affected by HIV that the stigma can be life threatening.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

I removed the duplicate post and moved your thread to "Someone I care about" as you are not living with HIV

I'm not sure I understand the goal of your post are you looking to collect & use people publications on POZ somehow?? Because sharing stories with you will help how??

Anyhow I know there are already literally 10.000's of such stories here and even more across the web so if you're just looking for something to read that is a good start.

[RegularGuy123]

Hello Mr. Allen,

Thank you for removing the duplicate post.  I was not aware I posted twice.

As for your questions and assumptions, my husband and I have (along with thousands of other people) have experienced many incidents of prejudice due to his status and my love for him.  Not to mention the people who are physically harmed due to their status.

My goal is not "just looking for something to read", but rather to humanize people living with HIV nor am I using peoples publications from this forum.  Taking people's experiences without their permission is unethical and rude. 

I am completely aware that you may not understand my goal, but your assumptions and judgments are unneeded.

I will try not to post duplicates in the future.

Best regards,

Staten.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Interesting I've not made any judgments yet, just probing to find out what your goals would be, comes with the job. I'm sure you can appreciate we get some pretty shady requests at times so I had to check and ask. 

but your assumptions and judgments are unneeded.

Starting to form a few opinions though as is my prerogative.

Well, as said there are literally 10.000's stories already here, so you are more than welcome to add your own to the collection. Although this section of the forum is for people who have someone they care about living with HIV, the HIV Positive members can also reply here once you add your story. I'm sure the members are looking forward to reading it. 

Sorry to hear you have experienced some prejudice over the years.

Best, Jim

P.S

Complete anonymity ensured. 

This is something not ensured here. If you disclose anything on this forum or anything self-identifying at least, then it is the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the internet). Just making sure you are aware of this since you had mentioned anonymity ensured.

[leatherman]

I am completely aware that you may not understand my goal, but your assumptions and judgments are unneeded.

Members here greatly appreciate the work Jim does moderating these forums. While we don't often have problems here, occasionally we do have people who want to troll the members or stir up some stupid HIV myth. Other times we have people claiming to be doing research, who just want to use us as guinea pigs. And that's why these forums have moderators.

Quite frankly your "goal" seems to be of a similar nature to those issues I mentioned. You want to use other people's stories for exactly what purpose? To write a book? to give lectures? to make yourself feel better? A bit more definition about your objective would be nice to know.

I would like to speak to people about their experiences in an attempt to reduce the stigma HIV positive people face. I hope to be able to speak with individuals who are HIV positive about their status, how they learned about their status, how we cope with relationships (personal and family), have you shared your status, and how you are coping and we can cope together.  Complete anonymity ensured.  I am hoping to be able to show people who are not affected by HIV that the stigma can be life threatening.

i have a couple of comments of what I hope is constructive criticism.

First, you might want to make local attempts first. You name yourself regularguy123, talk about "speaking" with people, and guarantee anonymity, while you are still a mystery to us. Nothing about where you live or the stigma you have encountered. That all sounds suspicious on the internet in 2019.  Instead of trying to reach out to strangers on the internet, why don't you speak with people in your area? I'm sure there are people in a local HIV clinic community advisory board or the local Ryan White consumer committee who might speak to you about stigma.

Second, don't assume that every person living with HIV faces stigma; nor that stigma is as drastic as "life threatening". I've been positive for 35 years and nearly everyone I know has known about my status for about 30 years - mainly because I'm a very outspoken advocate for people living with HIV. To be honest, in all these years there has been only one incidence of stigma that I faced. While advocating at the SC State House a few years ago, one of House Representatives saw me and the local HIV clinic director coming down the hall. We has spoken to him in years past, and he definitely wasn't an ally nor did he want to hear about healthcare much less HIV healthcare. When he saw us, he literally spun around and fast-walked away from us towards the elevator. The look of terror in his eyes was hilarious, especially as he repeatedly stabbed the elevator button and it didn't come and didn't come and didn't come. We said hello and walked on past him like we were never even going to bother to talk to him in the first place. That's the closest I ever came to experiencing stigma - and I could have cared less what that jerk thought about me. LOL

Personally, I think people get discrimination and stigma confused. I've never been stigmatized about my HIV, because I don't let people stigmatize me. If someone isn't paying my bills, I don't care what they think or say about me. Now if they legally discriminate against me, that's a whole other matter. But, so far, after 3 decades of living with HIV and 5 decades of living an open gay life, nobody has ever discriminated against me. Of course, that could be a byproduct of being white and a male; so I certainly understand if others have been discriminated against and I've done advocacy work for those people. But stigmatized? No, I think that's more of a self-esteem issue. HIV brings about a lot of complex emotions and more people could use some mental health care to feel better about themselves and deal with this health issue. (hell, everybody needs more mental health care )

[zach]

unneeded.

So many words to find some truth in there.

I'm gonna assume you were having a rough day when you wrote that post... and cut you some slack.

The burden is on you to explain your goal. Chomping on Jim is unneeded. You're the guest here.