POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Eireguy on August 13, 2014, 12:03:57 pm

Title: Casual serodiscordant relationship
Post by: Eireguy on August 13, 2014, 12:03:57 pm

Hey everyone.

I'm just looking for a bit of advise...

I started dating a guy a few weeks back. We are getting on good. I asked him what he was looking for and he said he's not looking for anything serious because he's not long out of a relationship. He also said that it's not that it would never happen.

The issue is that I haven't disclosed yet (we haven't done anything except kiss yet). I think he wants a casual thing to begin. If I disclose I'm wondering is he going to run a mile. Should I just forget about it and try and keep a friend only. I like him though.

Any advise from people that went through similar or otherwise would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance :)

Title: Re: Casual serodiscordant relationship
Post by: mecch on August 13, 2014, 12:08:56 pm

Welcome.

Have you disclosed yet to potential partners or is this the first time?

"Should I just forget about it and try and keep a friend only."  No thats the least sensible option. 

Try a disclosure before you invest too much of yourself in the attraction. If he can't deal, it will be not such a big deal. 

Title: Re: Casual serodiscordant relationship
Post by: Eireguy on August 13, 2014, 12:14:26 pm

It's not the first time no. The last few guys that I disclosed to it didn't go so well though so I guess I'm reluctant to let my guard down again. If it is only something casual he wants I just think maybe it would never work

Title: Re: Casual serodiscordant relationship
Post by: mecch on August 13, 2014, 03:16:41 pm

Its all annoying but it shakes down like this. 
You can't guess the response or control the response.
Casual sex with HIV+ might be on his OK list while relationship with HIV+ might be on the No list. Or the reverse. Or ABCD whatever combinations.
Seeing that you are "dating" - first off - bravo for that - and second, disclosure seems unavoidable, sooner or later...
Basically you don't really want to be having sex and socialising with someone who wouldn't want you if knowing you are HIV+.

Title: Re: Casual serodiscordant relationship
Post by: elf on August 13, 2014, 08:13:31 pm

What does the say about Truvada?

Title: Re: Casual serodiscordant relationship
Post by: timmm55 on August 27, 2014, 03:04:26 pm

I'm up front about it, on every online profile and open about it when I meet. I don't have a problem with it, if they do....too bad!

Just get it out of the way. Are you undetectable? That opens up a few avenues if he is knowledgeable.