Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 19, 2024, 01:26:14 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772784
  • Total Topics: 66296
  • Online Today: 267
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 205
Total: 206

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Does anyone or has anyone ever felt this?  (Read 4642 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,353
Does anyone or has anyone ever felt this?
« on: August 28, 2007, 11:04:59 am »
      First of all I want to say that this forum is a wonderful thing, especially this Long term Survivor thread. I have always felt a little isolated from others from being a gay youth in a small town, to a poz adolescent in a small town, to a poz adult in the "gay community" in the 80's (boy, sometimes I think gay men at that point in time were the cruelest), to a long term Thriver (as I like to think of it). Now I feel a little more connected to a community that might understand.
      I have been poz more than half my life, I was fifteen now I'm 40 (you do the math  ;)) I don't remember or have any concept of what it was like to not live with it since it was present (with all of the crap associated with it) during my formative years. I never let it stop me pursue my educational and vocational goals. My experiences have influenced my avocation which is choreography and dance. 
      Although I have been really sick (although my Dr. says it wasn't related to HIV, whatever) a couple of times during my life,
I chose not to suffer the emotional and psychological pain. In fact it has lead me to a deeper spiritual connection. I guess a long time ago, I chose not to give the virus any "power." over me. I was in Nepal a year ago, studying with the Tamang, Magar, and Tibetan shamans and I had a vision during a trance induced state about how I should relate to HIV. So I did it. WOW !  I often do this meditation where I visualize a scenario of surrendering or sacrificing myself to an embodiment of HIV. I let myself be taken, eaten up, until there is nothing left of me. It was scary at first, but, damn afterward I felt so different, so alive. Each time I did this I visualized myself being reborn.
      I know this is a bit odd, different, over the top to most people. But I just wanted to reach out and share this experience.

Belssings,
Sharkdiver  (yes a I do scuba with sharks along with bungee jumping, fire eating, and soon.. walking across hot coals! not with sharks of coarse  lol)





Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,530
  • 36 years positive, 64 years a pain in the butt
Re: Does anyone or has anyone ever felt this?
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2007, 11:35:10 am »
Hey Sharkdiver,

In a manner of speaking, I have had similar feelings. I was reared Catholic, but did not find the church's teachings particularly relevant to a gay man in the 70s, or thereafter.

After some exploration, I found myself drawn to a more spiritual existence, what most folks call the neopagan path.

I have walked that path for many years now and have found it has freed me from some of the negativity I had incorporated into myself during my Catholic/Xristian upbringing.

While I don't practice the particular meditation you mentioned, I do have my spiritual time when I release the negative I encounter and try to absorb or enhance the positive.

I have found it to be a very meaningful and therapeutic practice.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline JeffreyM

  • Member
  • Posts: 96
  • 11:11
Re: Does anyone or has anyone ever felt this?
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2007, 11:25:03 pm »
Hi Sharkdiver, Wow, what a wonderful opportunity for you to study with the Shamens!  I'm glad you're here in the forums. Hey, Keep Dancing! 

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,353
Re: Does anyone or has anyone ever felt this?
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2007, 09:03:17 am »
Thanks guys.

I'm actually wanting to put a group together for HIV+ men to learn how to do shamanic drumming and"journeying." I've apprenticed with someone here in the Sacramento Region for about 6 years and it's time I branched out. I've been involved with a 6 month Self-Healing circle where a small group of us meet once a week for 6 months and explore the issues and affects of disease or trauma that we've experienced. I'm seeing now that there needs to be some adaptations to the course work that would fit the needs of us who are HIV+. I might be asking you guys later for ideas about that.


Sharkdiver

Offline mudman8

  • Member
  • Posts: 115
Re: Does anyone or has anyone ever felt this?
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2007, 05:57:50 pm »
Great to hear of someone exploring a spiritual path. I had a traditional Protestant upbringing and then tense Baptist period in college.   I did a lot when I was in my 30s, reading meditating, men's encounter groups. It was all worth it broadening my perspective, I feel I have a relaxed but personal connection with life. I often say my prayers and count my blessings at night when I go to bed.

In one encounter group the leader unexpectedly started channeling information to group members. He told me I was pushing too hard. Later I asked him what he meant and he siad i wanted it all right then and life was a path to follow with it's ups and downs. It has to unfold like a flower a little bit at a time. so I try not to push. Wonderful events have happened to me that I don't think are coincidences.

One day at a time.
Life is analog

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.