I have URAI with Ejaculation with HIV negative bf. Am I affected?

[brettyakl]

 :'(Hi.

I've had one Unprotected receptive anal sex with ejaculation with my bf 1 day ago. Now I'm really worried that I would get HIV but my friend said that it cant happen because he got test in Feb and HIV-. Am I getting HIV and are there any high possibility that I could get it because both of us don't have HIV? I'm so frustrated and devastated at the moment. I went abroad for a few weeks and he had had an intercourse with another one. Please give me some advice. I'm so worried whether I could get it or not. Statistics on the internet from someone's research show that the probability with HIV transmission is 1.43-3% for URAI with ejaculation. Is it very very high risk?

I know everyone comes here with common understandable concern that they think they will be in the small proportion of getting it but please give me some advice with your experience is it very likely that I will get HIV? And how soon could I go for the test?

Thanks a lot. I really hope to hear your valuable advice and experience sharing.

[jkinatl2]

It is absolutely impossible to come down with HIV-related symptoms one day after intercourse.

However, you have had a risk and you need to test.

Until and unless you are in a securely monogamous relationship with someone who tests negative three months AFTER entering that relationship with you, then you are putting your faith (and health) in the hands of another.

Now, it could well be that your boyfriend uses condoms when having sex with other people. And it could also be true that he was and is HIV negative. However, you have to decide whether to take the risk of exposing yourself to ANY sexually transmitted disease, including HIV, when you choose to have unprotected sex with him.

This choice is obviously making you upset, otherwise you would not have posted here.

It's very important that you establish and maintain boundaries to per your level of assumed risk. From what you have written, it sounds very much like you do not trust your boyfriend's stated HIV status. It sounds like you don't trust your boyfriend to have protected sex when he is with other people.

Given those circumstances, it seems logical that you should wear a condom when having penetrative sex with him. Otherwise, even if you do NOT get infected with anything, it will nonetheless continue to cause you great anxiety.

When and if you two are in a mutually monogamous relationship AND have tested for all sexually transmitted diseases including HIV *together* you should feel confident having sex without a condom.

Until then, I urge you to wear a condom during penetrative sex.

As to your current situation, we don't discuss much about symptoms of early HIV infection because they vary widely - and sometimes do not appear at all.

The statistics you quote are only marginally applicable in the intended target - the macro, the group of infected persons as a whole. They are virtually irrelevant to YOU, an individual.

You have had one of the higher risks for HIV. I will not tell you otherwise. But if this is your only instance of Unprotected Receptive Anal Intercourse without a condom since your last HIV test, then the odds, of you choose to use them, are in your favor.

Depending on your location, it appears that you will need to wait six weeks past your last URAI to test. That test will be almost definitive, although please understand that the three-month testing window remains the global standard.

I certainly wish you the best outcome.

[brettyakl]

Hi Jkinatl2,

Thanks for your reply.

I didn't state clearly that I was the bottom (all the time). And this was the first time we had unprotected sex. Would you please advise that whether I'm on the lower side of risk or higher? I'm really worried and can't concentrate on my studies at the moment. Should I take PEP? It's been more than 24 hours since I had sex with him.

"When and if you two are in a mutually monogamous relationship AND have tested for all sexually transmitted diseases including HIV *together* you should feel confident having sex without a condom."
Regarding this we have been in relationship since he got tested in February, I don't have HIV for sure because he is my first bf. So in your experience could you please advise me that am I still in very high risk of getting HIV?

[jkinatl2]

Hi Jkinatl2,

Thanks for your reply.

I didn't state clearly that I was the bottom (all the time). And this was the first time we had unprotected sex. Would you please advise that whether I'm on the lower side of risk or higher? I'm really worried and can't concentrate on my studies at the moment. Should I take PEP? It's been more than 24 hours since I had sex with him.

"When and if you two are in a mutually monogamous relationship AND have tested for all sexually transmitted diseases including HIV *together* you should feel confident having sex without a condom."
Regarding this we have been in relationship since he got tested in February, I don't have HIV for sure because he is my first bf. So in your experience could you please advise me that am I still in very high risk of getting HIV?

No, I understood your acronym perfectly and gave you the best risk assessment I could based on your unprotected receptive anal sex with a partner of unknown status. You have had a risk and you need to test. As for how much of a risk, I invoke Moderator Ann by saying "How long is a piece of string?" The risk could be zero if he is not infected, low if he is infected but on meds, and very high if he is recently infected and has a high viral load.

Assuming the latter, your risk was high and you need to test.

[brettyakl]

So in your conclusion, you assume that the risk is very high if he is infected right? In this case he is not infected so can I conclude that the risk is low to none? We don't frequently have sex because we're too busy but just had one unprotected intercourse since started the relationship.

[jkinatl2]

So in your conclusion, you assume that the risk is very high if he is infected right? In this case he is not infected so can I conclude that the risk is low to none? We don't frequently have sex because we're too busy but just had one unprotected intercourse since started the relationship.

Well, if your partner is not HIV positive then there's obviously no risk. HIV doesn't simply materialize out of the ether.

If your partner is HIV positive and has a high viral load then you have had a very high risk.

Your first post indicated that you may or may not be aware of your partner's current HIV status. When giving risk assessment here we always assume that the other partner is HIV positive and has a very high viral load.