POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Oscar on June 27, 2006, 06:12:30 pm
-
I went to the infusion clinic this morning @ 11:00 AM. I was the only male in the clinic at the time. This old woman with crusty feet said to one of the nurses" Lori's excited now that there is a man in the room." I noticed that Lori turned around and made a limp wristed hand jesture and said mouthed something to the old lady. The old bitch laughed at whatever Lori said to her. Then Lori comes over to me andacts all sweet and stuff in my face. I've dealt with this shit growing up gay all my life living in the south & I don't want to take it anymore. I almost said something to her about it but I have to remember she is the one sticking my arm with the iv and drawing blood every day. I don't want her to physically hurt me. It just hurt my feelings. How would you handle a stiuation like this? confront them? tell her supervisor?
-
At least nobody told you you had HIV saying: "BINGO!"...I donīt know what would I do in your case...
-
I'd tell her supervisor. What a slag, sorry you had to put up with that crap Dan.
xx
Matt
-
Dan,
I guess it would go with my mood of the day. If not totally sure it concerned me, then would possibly had made some kind of jokes for letting her know I understood what she ( possibly ) did. In these cases you see it in their faces right away.
In a shitty mood and absolutely certain, then she was in for several minutes of me giving her all the shits she deserved.
Regards,
The Canuck
-
i think I would have totally queened out and made a totally queenie scene of being friendly to her... 'oh hellooooooo dahling, so wonderfullllll to seeeeeee you againnnn ' *air kiss* I've come to get my (very loudly) aids labwork done."
Doubt you'd see her do a repeat performance.
She wants a fag, she can have one is my thought on that....
-
Oh deffo, light up a Malborough there n then
-
sorry you had to encounter that
it's appalling when adults don't act like adults :(
-
Dan...I'm sorry you have to put up with such "sexiest" behavior. I dare say we are all the subject of conversation at times. Of course being an attractive man makes you a target. Some women (like some men) are animals...try not to let it get to ya, babycakes! But if it really makes you that uncomfortable, I'd say something about it. To the nurse. Going over her head may in fact create some anamosity between you and the nurse. And since she's the one "sticking" you.... ::)
-
At least nobody told you you had HIV saying: "BINGO!"...I donīt know what would I do in your case...
I still can't believe that someone said that to you. Bingo..
Cut to her on her deck entertaining her middle-class friends..."Oh you have to be so careful when telling people they are HIV positive. I use the word Bingo or hand puppets." Their friends slowly nod and say how compassionate she is before wetting themselves slowly.
Dan,
I agree with DingoBoi. When someone plays a stereotype with me I often play it up to embarrass them. You should have said, "Yes please hurry up, I need to go out and get some cock..."
They want it, give it too much.
R
-
Dan,
I can relate to how it made you feel and had something similar happen to me Friday when I went to a Dentist there in Jackson. Since I did not have the money to go to the dentist of my choice I called the CDC clinic to see if they could help. They told me that if I would be at the clinic Friday at 8:AM to fill out some paper work they could send me with a referral to a dentist there in Jackson that would pull my tooth. Before the dentist started work on me he asked if I had paid yet. I told him no, that I was sent on refferal from the CDC clinic. He said " What does that mean" before I could answer he said " oh you are one of those grant cases, never mind" . It was not what he said, but how he said it, that really made me feel bad. It was very unprofessional in my opinion.
-
Dan,
Everyone has a superior that they have to answer to. I agree with Matt. Report her to the next higher up, either face to face, or through a letter, whatever your comfortable at. I would have confronted her about it, and let her know exactly how I felt, and let her try to push a needle through my vein !.
Ray
PS hope your doing better !!
-
Well thats just awful...i would have acted all concerned about her wrist being limp..telling her they had good wrist supports at Wallgreens. Then tell her you knew that cause you saw them when u had to get a finger splint for your finger and hold up your middle finger to show her.
Some people are just ignorant.
Hugs
Teresa
-
Dan,
I would not have acted up at all. That would be lowering you to her level. However I would have immediately asked to see her supervisor and I’d have file a complaint and refused to have her touch me.
Dam, it sounds like your living in a third world country. Fortunately I've never had to deal with this kind of sigma and bigotry in this part of the country. Plain and simple “her sorry ass would be out the door.”
You really don’t need that kind of crap, especially while so ill.
Grrrrrrrrrr!!!
-
Report her Dan...this is definately unacceptable, you don't have to put up with her Sh*t..and if this happens again refuse to let her do your tests and request another nurse...and then explain to them why.
Not only did she hurt you but she gave away personal information about you to another patient and that is wrong on so many levels.
Hugs
Jan :-*
-
Not only did she hurt you but she gave away personal information about you to another patient and that is wrong on so many levels.
Hugs
Jan :-*
Absolutely. There are rights you have. She broke the Hipaa rules !!
-
I know what you mean Dan.....in the South we get this kind of stuff all the time, don't we?
I overheard this old woman at my church awhile back saying "I don't mind these gays, as long as they don't expect equal rights." I had to call on every ounce of self-control I possess to keep from going off on her. I wanted to say "you sure don't mind sitting your fat ass in my car every Tuesday when I take you to lunch".
From a healthcare worker, that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. I think you should report it to her boss.
Alan
PS - one time many years ago, when I was receiving home nursing care, a nurse came out to do I.V. therapy on me and did not wash her hands first. As soon as she left, I phoned my doctor, and she was fired that same day. I felt guilty about it for a long time.....(but I got over it!)
-
Don't feel guilty if you decide to report her up! Nurses are in super demand these days, and unless she fails a piss test she'll have a job the next day--plus she'll learn a lesson. Personally, I would write a letter, because you have to deal with that same staff until your treatment is done, but I'm just a Libra wuss.
-
I would have punched Lori in the face... :-\
Mind you I just quit smoking today.... grrrrrrrrrr...
-
I would have put her in here place and then call her supervisior.
-
I would have called her on it, right there to her face.
"Excuse me, but I overheard what you were saying, and I saw the limp-wristed hand gesture, and it was not only mean, but also very unprofessional. I've done nothing to you, and I am here for the services that you are being paid well to render, and I'm wondering what the problem is? Is there someone I should speak with in order that it doesn't happen again?"
And I would say it calmly, but also loud enough for everyone in the waiting room to hear.
And then I would have reported it to my doctor and her supervisor.
-
the incident woti Lori actually happened @ 1:00 ol'clock. The doc asked me if I could come back then. My infusion treatment only last 30 minutes.
The infusion "clinic" is a small room crammed with 7 infusion "stations" patients are all in one communal room. There is no privacy in that room whatsoever. I had to whisper HIV to the nurse that was getting medical history info. The woman in the next chair heard everything. There is a computer with patient info in full public view.
I plan on talking to the doctor about Lori Wednesday.
-
Report her Dan...this is definately unacceptable, you don't have to put up with her Sh*t..and if this happens again refuse to let her do your tests and request another nurse...and then explain to them why.
Not only did she hurt you but she gave away personal information about you to another patient and that is wrong on so many levels.
Hugs
Jan :-*
I totally agree with Jan 100%.
And what came to my mind first was... "how the hell was she so sure you are gay in the first place?" I reckon it's because you have hiv and that also is wrong on so many levels.
The whole departments needs to be reported. There should be a private area to give your details and the computer with patient detail should absolutely NOT be on public display.
I guess in a department where so many fundamental privacy rules are being broken, Lori's attitude isn't really a big surprise. I guess privacy and confidentiality isn't high on their priorities and this needs to change ASAP.
Good luck Dan.
Ann
-
Its more a question of what is the line between doctors office humor/ and unprofessionalism. We all know that humor for people in the health field is as important for them as for the rest of us......its just...did this go over the boundary????
-
Dan, that totally sucks, sorry you had to experience that. It's hard to say how I would have reacted at the time because I think I may have reacted without much thought and when I do that I usually stumble through what I'm trying to say and that just makes me look like the idiot in the long run. I always report unsatisfactory service or products but I tend to do that in writing rather than verbal just because I know I express myself better and writing. Just as a sidenote I'd like to say that I also like to send complementary notes when I receive extraordinary service.
Hugs
Jeff
-
Is Lori a nurse? Because there are Boards of Registered/Vocational Nursing in each and every state.
And they LIVE for shit like this, trust me.
Take care,
John
-
I am so sorry you had to experience such vile behavior. I would have told my Doctor and Nurse coordinator, and the Patient Advocate Office at the hospital. I would also request that another nurse perform the IV therapy. Behavior like that is inexcusable and offensive.
Christine
-
Depending on my mood I would have ....
1. Let is slide.
2. Opened my cell phone and pretended to call someone and tell them all about the bitch nurse that I was dealing with.
3. Ask her to get her supervisor NOW!
Once, when I was in ICU and no one would answer my call bell, I grabbed my cell phone, called the main number, asked for the person in charge of the ICU and then threw a fit. Amazingly enough, my call button was answered promptly after that. And, let me just say, I do not abuse it but I had to use the restroom and needed help getting there since I had so many things attached to my body!!!