Unproteced Oral @ bath house

[scaredweak]

I think you are all great for taking your time to help talk to people and also give us education. I do believe that education is key to this.

Why am I here. Well I am a 40yr old married Man of 18yrs. And I have had went to the bath house a few times since June 2013 and had unprotected oral, giving and receiving with no ejaculation on the giving, but I ejaculated when oral was being performed on me. The bath house was in Toronto, and I even managed to go to one in Fort Lauderdale Florida while on my family vacation. No anal at all.

I have been to the local STD clinic and they told me I did not need to test for HIV, but they tested me for all other STD and I was negative.

I am worried because my wife is having symptoms of Fatigue, her period is off cycles, hot flashes. She went to her Doctor recently for swollen lymph node on her neck, and her Doctor told her it was drainage and then felt swollen thyroid lymph nodes on her and sent her to a specialist. The specialist checked the original node she went for and said it was fine but she is scheduled for a biopsy for her Thyroid nodes on her neck. I should also mention she has had a yeast infection and has a cyst in her that showed up on her pap and confirmed through Ultra sound.

So I am just second guessing my exposure to HIV after having multiple accounts of unprotected oral and I am shaking I am so ashamed with myself for putting my wife at risk, my family at risk...

[Jeff G]

The oral sex is not a risk . There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do not need to test for HIV over this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[scaredweak]

thanks for the reply Jeff.

But why is there so much information out that that contradicts oral sex not being a risk. Seems all the GOV websites including the CDC say its a risk and requires testing.

[Jeff G]

thanks for the reply Jeff.

But why is there so much information out that that contradicts oral sex not being a risk. Seems all the GOV websites including the CDC say its a risk and requires testing.

We use the latest peer reviewed science for our assessments and do not comment very much on what other other sites may say about transmission . It would be a good thing if the cdc were to update its information but since its about sex I would not hold my breath . 

[scaredweak]

seems the more I read the worse the anxiety is getting. Man guilt can be suck a killer and I know what they mean when they say " you cant put a price on sleep "

I know I need to test, but here we don't have in home tests available in stores. Its either Doctors office and they do the blood test and you wait that long 2-3 weeks to get your results, or a STD clinic who offers the rapid test but its 2-3 weeks to get an appointment

[Jeff G]

You wont get judgment here, only the facts . Its important that you get your sexual health care checkups with a full std panel regularly . Many STDS can be present and infectious without symptoms and you would not want to unknowingly carry or expose others to them from lack of proper screening .

Having regular checkups is the responsible thing to do . Best of luck .