POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: aztecan on January 20, 2012, 10:56:49 am
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. . . that talks a bit about survivor's guilt, but also focuses on my (or should I say our) generation as well.
http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/01/20/us-study-sexual-minority-stress-risk-for-older-gays/
HUGS,
Mark
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Some men were affected by losing peers to AIds
what a crazy caption to that picture. ::) "some" seems to be inappropriate.
I can't imagine that any gay man, aged 44-75, has gotten by in life without being "affected by losing peers to AIds" (which by the way, has the typo of not capitalizing the 'D' and 'S' in AIDS). There's a pretty big hole in that time range with a lot of "missing" gay men, so that any gay man (regardless of status), in the range of 45 and up, sure ought to realize that they are affected by the loss of those people. (I might even venture to say that any gay man 35 and up ought to be able to realize that there's a lot of missing gay men of a certain age; but that could just be my wishful thinking.)
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I don't stress about aging. I'm grateful for it. Being told at 21 that you could possibly live to be 30 sure changes the mindset about it.
I also don't think we can always avoid the survivor's guilt that arises from time to time.
Wolfie
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Well, I didn't come Out & Proud as a Gay men until I was 32 w/ teh AIDS, so when I started losing peers, BFs, and everyone as being new to the gay scene, and I must say back then, it was a bit overwhelming, as I found myself being a caregiver and watching others die, so yeah , I can relate to whole -sexual-minority-stress-risk-for-older-gays , cause I'm an old fart, I should have died yrs ago, but that didn't happen ;)
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Mark,
Another study telling us what we already know. However, the issue of being validated by society by recognition of your relationships really hit home for Stephen and I. It is THE final reason that we decided to move back to Canada. I knew that equal rights for gays, in the states, would not happen in my lifetime and I wasn't willing to wait. We were lucky in that I had that option and I can't tell you how different it is, to just be us, two married guys and to be treated just like everyone else.
Joe
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I agree, much of the study was full of things we already knew, but, if the general public starts to be aware of this, it might help.
Well, I can dream, can't I. :o
I don't worry about aging, in fact, I relish it. I have found it surprisingly liberating in some ways.
But, I do worry about the day, should it come, that I can't care for myself, which was something they did bring up in the study.
And we just keep on keeping on.
HUGS,
Mark
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Oh don't worry Mark, we'll just buy a large compound and pool all of our money together and invite whomever we want and live out the rest of ours days in LGBT- older AIDS bliss ;)
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I don't worry about aging, in fact, I relish it. I have found it surprisingly liberating in some ways.
this year on my bday in March when I turn 50, I'll be celebrating 14 yrs since I was in the hospital with a group of doctors telling me that would probably be the last bday I ever had. ::) ;D
In spite of any and all other issues I have (like the daily sadness that resides within me because all my friends and my two partners are now all long gone), I love getting older every year.
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we'll just buy a large compound and pool all of our money together and invite whomever we want and live out the rest of ours days in LGBT- older AIDS bliss ;)
tick, tick, tick
we better get working on this plan soon. None of us are getting any younger. LOL
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I don't worry about aging, in fact, I relish it. I have found it surprisingly liberating in some ways.
I agree. The things that used to consume my time and stress me when I was younger don't seem nearly as important. Maybe it's just a matter of accumulating life experiences, and getting a better understanding of what really matters to me.
But, I do worry about the day, should it come, that I can't care for myself, which was something they did bring up in the study.
Me too. :(
Hugs,
Henry
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"endangering the mental health of middle-aged and older gay men."
That horrible era when we were dealing with multiple deaths of significant others per week.... aaaaaargh. Then to top it off we were also caring for others and lobbying when our own health was seriously compromised. Mix in economic stress and some really blatent discrimination and violence.
I reckon that all things considered we've done rather well, I tip my hat to us all!
Well done us!
It's all right to miss our loved ones. Memories of them can also give us a smile, comfort us and strengthen our will.
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"endangering the mental health of middle-aged and older gay men."
That horrible era when we were dealing with multiple deaths of significant others per week.... aaaaaargh. Then to top it off we were also caring for others and lobbying when our own health was seriously compromised. Mix in economic stress and some really blatent discrimination and violence.
I reckon that all things considered we've done rather well, I tip my hat to us all!
Well done us!
It's all right to miss our loved ones. Memories of them can also give us a smile, comfort us and strengthen our will.
I agree, hats off to us!
HUGS,
Mark