Steve McQueen had nothing to do with this...

[aupointillimite]

The Mediocre Escape: Cats on the Loose.

A couple of days ago, my hungover self awoke to freezing cold blasts of air coming into our apartment.

Some part of my mind immediately began working... albeit slowly...  "Zzzzz.... cold... air.... need.... heat... breezy in here.... zzzz.... wonder why.... zzzzz.... cats.... outside air.... zzzz.... cats.... outside.... cats.... outside.... must.... kill.... cats."

Yes... my little Houdini-esque Rimbaud had once again stuck his paw under the door and pulled it open... apparently, my roommate hadn't latched it properly when she came home.  So get this... I was asleep on the couch when she came home.  I woke up at around 8 AM and got into my bed.  The door was closed, or what passed for closed that morning.

So I get up, and lo and behold!  The door is wide open, and no cats are to be found. They had waited until I left the room to bust out.  So, I get dressed, all the while muttering to myself about "in some countries, these animals are eaten."  I go down the stairs leading up to our apartment... it's freezing, and I really don't know where to begin, when I see Megatron stick his little face around the landing and look at me.  Then Rimbaud does the same thing.

Now... this is the most nerve-racking part.  Because if you go at them too quckly, they'll flip and run away from you.

Fortunately for my sanity, our cats are stupid.

They booked it inside like a dog was on the prowl... and I suddenly realized, "these little a**holes wanted me to come look for them." 

Ahh... catchildren.  I'm glad they're so dumb that they can't engineer a proper escape... I'd be really upset if they did... but that didn't stop me from picking them both up once they were safely inside and telling them that down the street there was a "cat factory called the SPCA" from which I could get better-behaved replacements in two minutes tops and that they might want to look up the word "expendable" in the dictionary before making me worry like that again.

It had absolutely no effect, but it still felt nice to tell them that.

My friends think it's weird that I talk to them like they're people.  I say it's only gonna get weird when I start expecting a response. 

[Amosboy]

It's official now...I have a crush on you and your cats 

[Ann]

My friends think it's weird that I talk to them like they're people.  I say it's only gonna get weird when I start expecting a response. 

You mean you don't expect a response? My catchildren respond to me all the time. I'm pretty sure there's only a few things they say though, like "Isn't it time you put that damned mouse down and fed me?" or the favourite, "Do what? Do you know who I am?" and of course, "Shut the f*ck up already, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

-Dr "Ann" Doolittle

[Boo Radley]

If I didn't talk to my cats and dogs I'd lose the use of my vocal chords... not that it would be much of a loss, anyway. 

Since I added 6 indoor-only kitties to the bunch I have nightmares about a door blowing open so set my alarm system at night again in case a door opens.  If the 90 second buzzing doesn't wake me up the alarm siren will.

You're lucky if your cats let you catch them since mine rarely do.  Any attempt to catch one makes him/her all the more determined to stay out and leisurely waltz back and forth across the street so Daddy can have palpitations and scream in a loud girlish voice "Baby (or Minnie or Dotty or Biddie or Kinky), come inside!"  They especially like to stand in the middle of the street and watch a car approaching at mach speed before casually sauntering to the curb at the last minute.  They're only afraid of garbage trucks and other large vehicles that make a lot of noise. 

Before Katrina my postage stamp of a back yard was cat-proofed and no one could get outside the yard.  One of these days I'll have the energy to work on it again but since the landscape changed (I lost 2 trees and a rickety old shed) new tactics are required.  I haven't quite figured them out yet.

Boo

[Queen Tokelove]

Cats are so full of personality that's why I love them. I do not have to worry about escapes with Lucifer since we live on the 8th floor. I have to deal with him biting through my wires around the house. He has already bitten through one computer cord already. He tends to get sneaky when I take a nap. But he is the only cat I have ever had that I had to put in the bathroom before bed cause if I don't my apt will be a mess the next day.


(wonders how many kitties Boo has)

[aupointillimite]

I have to deal with him biting through my wires around the house.

I learned that Rimbaud loves headphone cords.  The hard way.

[david25luvit]

Brrr....roll over and let me in bed