Undetectable, dating and sex

[Seba8030]

 Hi guys, I'm Seba, Im HIV POS on ART  for about 2 years, my last control was CV undetectable and CD4 over 900, recently I had sex with a friend, a couple of times, I was top, the first the condom had a stretch of blood, it was very small amount, he woke up took a shower and we had sex again, at the second opportunity the condom slipped into him and I penetrated him without condom, without ejaculating inside, we realized and stopped the act, my fear Is if i could nfected him? Should I talk to him and tell him my situation? Please help.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya

Your last post was also about transmission fears, I totally understand however you are with treatment not sexually at risk of passing on the virus to anyone. Time to put this fear behind you.

In short if you are UD (under 200 copies per milliliter) and have been on treatment for 6+ months you can not transmit the virus sexually.

Should I talk to him and tell him my situation? Please help.

From my point of view what is there to talk about?

Firstly it's a hookup, he is an adult responsible for his own actions & choices.

Also you are not a HIV risk to him, you might as well worry about disclosing diabetes status in this scenario as you can't transmit that condition either

Try to relax.

[Jim Allen]

Oh and of course test out of standard routine at least yearly for easier to aquire STI's like every sexually active adult should.

[Seba8030]

Thank you very much for your answer, one last question, even if it produced wounds in the rectal mucosa and penetrates without condon the risk is still zero?

thanks for your words Jim, it has been a very stressful night, but with your words I feel a little relieved, I think I really need psychological help every time I have sex with someone despite using condoms and being in treatment more than 6 months UD, I feel that I put the other person at risk.

[Jim Allen]

Thank you very much for your answer, one last question, even if it produced wounds in the rectal mucosa and penetrates without condon the risk is still zero?

Yeah the VL is too low to transmit even if the other normal biological conditions for including route HIV are there.

Effectively No HIV risk and I am glad to hear my post somewhat helped.

I think I really need psychological help every time I have sex with someone despite using condoms and being in treatment more than 6 months UD, I feel that I put the other person at risk.

Look you are not alone when it comes to this concern/fear, I think more than a few of us share it.

It can't hurt to try counselling and besides professional counselling I am personally   
a big fan of peer support for a lot of things. Are you in face to face contact with other people living with HIV ?

Best, Jim

[Seba8030]

Yeah the VL is too low to transmit even if the other normal biological conditions for including route HIV are there.

Effectively No HIV

It can't hurt to try counselling and besides professional counselling I am personally   
a big fan of peer support for a lot of things. Are you in face to face contact with other people living with HIV ?

Best, Jim

No,I dont have contact with other people living with HIV.

[Jim Allen]

Well this section of the forum focuses on the Prevention questions, but the other sections like "Living With HIV" are open to anyone living with HIV so a wider audience if you ever feel like talking about living with HIV or have questions, need to vent etc.

We are always here and, you are always welcome to come chat.

Have you been in contact with any of the ASO's in your region? Because if you were interested in meeting people face to face they often would either organize them or know of others who organize support meetings and so on.

[Jim Allen]

Thanks for the PM BTW 

Do stay in touch and, were here if you need us.

Jim 

[Seba8030]

Hello guys, I have been + since 2017, three months after starting treatment I was already undetectable (since December 2017) and since then I have been undetectable, almost 5 years being undetectable, I am adherent to treatment, I never miss a dose. Last control in February/2022 Undetectable viral load and CD4 896. I am currently dating an HIV - guy, monogamous relationship, he had his HIV and STDS tests all negative when we Star daiting, and we have had sex without a condom, being me active and in 2 opportunities I have ejaculated inside of him.

This is when my fears, doubts and guilt come, I have read a lot about the U=U, also about serodiscordant relationships, but, is there any real risk that it could infect him, and second if I am undetectable, does he need to be in prep?

PS: when his tests were done, three weeks before we had had sex without a condom.

Thanks you so much.

[Jim Allen]

In short, as long as you keep taking your treatment and have been UD (under 200 copies per milliliter) for 6+ months you can not pass on the virus sexually.

TaSP (Treatment as prevention) isn't new and goes back 24 years.

As you are having condomless intercourse consider testing more frequently for STIs.

[Seba8030]

Thank you so much for your answer, I think my anxiety and fear are playing a bad role in all this, I will seek help in this regard.