Dating Thread Part VI: Meds, Moving, Madness and Men

[emeraldize]

Hi Camille,

Gee, sorry to read of this sudden change, but also relieved that you seem to relieved. And, ready given this is a third-time-not-a-charm incident

I agree with Drag in wondering what would it have been like to become further involved?

Apparently, you are stronger than he and you don't have the same trust issues. Rather insurmountable for him unless he wants to change.

You'll know it if he has undertaken any steps (such as counselling) and attempts to re-contact you.

Meanwhile, you're a fun person and have friends and by golly, you are on the threshhold of changing the thread with a delightfully uplifting title.  For whom the thread changes... we who are the fiber ever spinning.

Em


We're nearing the thread change threshhold and

[sunseeker]

Hi Ladies

Well, I have been reading but finding it difficult to post over the last few days.  I have been trying to keep my self busy.  Saw cop #1 for a  second on Saturday night and that sent me into a tail spin.  I had a little liquid courage in me, thanks to 3 chocolate martini's and was going to tell him that I could not see him any more and that did not go well.  I only got a chance to say hi then he had to go to a call.  He called me that night to make sure I got home OK and was going to tell him on the phone but, just my luck he had to go again.  So for now I think that I will just leave it alone and not call him and do my best not to think about him.   Cop #2 is great and I am trying to focus my energy on him, but getting scared since in two weeks I will be with him.  I am not sure when the right time to tell him about my status is and my friend said just wait and see how things go since I am not going to sleep with him anyway when I am there.  But I feel like I am lying to him in a way.  I guess that is because I am such an upfront person and know that I am hiding a secret.  I guess I go back in forth and think is it fair to keep things from him when I know he likes me and he may not want to be with me after I tell him.  But then on the other hand two negative guys have wanted to be with me after they found out.  I guess I am just torn on what to do.  I guess in part because I don't know him well enough to know how he will react if and when I tell him.  I have planned to only tell him if it turns intimate but I keep playing back in my head of the first guy I told who said he was OK with it, then slept with me, then said he had a kid to think about and could not do it anymore.  Oh I hate this.  Well, sorry for rambling. 


Cam-  I am sorry to hear about you and Ian.  I think no matter how much we want to be in a relationship we all hit a point where we cannot and or not willing to put up with someones behavior or bull shit.  I know it must hurt but I am sure you feel better knowing you don't have to deal with that anymore.  I know that is what I need to do to deal with Cop #1 to feel better and be over it.

Em-  As always you know that I am thinking about you and how your adoption is going.  I am praying for your daughter to be in your arm soon.  How is the love life going?

Queen-  I am with you.  I watch way to much TV and have my DVR set for all of my programs as well.  I am also looking forward to JourneyMan and Bionic Women.  I love the old Bionic Women so we will she how this compares.  CAN'T WAIT FOR NIP TUCK.

Drag-  Thanks for the posting of the free Tarot Card Reading.  I did it and loved it.  I did my first reading last year at the Ren Faire and I thought it was pretty right on.  It told me that I was going to fall in love with someone who is or was in the same profession as me and I was holding a deep secret that I have not come to terms with with.  ETC.  I guess that hit home since I have not come to terms with my status and that time I was dating my ex who use to be cop and is now a fireman.  But maybe she was not talking about my ex.  I would like to think that she is talking about someone new that is on the horizon.  But nonetheless the free reading was great and I had a great horoscope so that was just what I needed to get out of my funk for the day.

[MOONLIGHT1114]

Hi Em~  Thanks again for all of the advice!

Hi Cam~  Goodness, I didn't know there was drama going on, but hell, we've all been through it.  I'm so sorry that its gotten to the point where you wanted to end things.  I know, sometimes the signs are there and you just have to nip it in the bud.  I hope you're doing OK, please post here so we can see how you're doing.  It will be good for you.  On a funnier note, you'll have more room with just one great dane in the bed, right?    Hang in there!

Hi Sun~  Weird how you didn't have a chance to talk to #1 because of the work calls.  Things happen like that for a reason.  I wonder if you could just not talk to him at all, but I think you're in too deep, since you've known the guy for so long.  As for #2, you can't forecast what his reaction will be.  I used to date a lot in 2002 and the nicest guys would be the first ones running away, whereas a couple that I thought would run, actually stayed.  One turned into an LTR in 2003, so just get those first words off of your tongue, "I've got something I want to share with you tonight."....and go from there.  Did you mention that this guy live hours away from you as well?  I thought I had read that somewhere before.

Hi Drag~  I wonder about the "reverse" thing, too.  I know that in the past few years, I have given guys a second chance.  I try not to say its over immediately, I certainly put myself in their shoes and try to understand.  A lot of times its just nerves and part of the getting-to-know-you process that is evident in the early part of a relationship.  You think a lot like I do!  I did my Tarot reading July 20th when you first posted the link, and I did it again last night.  I got the Death card back in July, my reading was pretty much a downer.  My head is clear today, maybe I'll go do a 3-card and see what's happening. 

I got up todat at 930am, determined to get up a little earlier each day and make the most of it.  I ate my breakfast and crashed in the chair for 2 hours!  I couldn't believe it!  I can always try again tomorrow.  Time to go check the job listings!

~Cindy

[Dragonette]

I can't write tonight, too many things, I just wanted to say I love all of you... 

[camille07]

Drag-  thanks, I agree and also question, what's up with the two faces of Ian.  I also learned today that the catalyst for the outburst was that he thought I was screwing Jack.  I was really disappointed that he didn't he didn't think more highly of me.  Jack, btw, is on the otherside of the state.  Its really bringing me down the whole break up it just STINKS.  And if today was bad enough, when I was at the dreaded RITE AID my car just died.  I have a 2005 mercury mountaineer that has caused me such grief.  Thankfully, my sister was able to help me out.  Her partner is out of town so I could use her car until Mercury's roadside picked up the beast.  I will also have the luxury of using it tomorrow for work.
Oh, my acyclovir wasn't ready because the doctor keeps forgetting to fax the right paper work?  By the vicodin for my leg was ready, whoo hoo.

Betty-  So glad that you're still not smoking.  That's really terrific.  Glad you had a chance to relax with some good flicks.  I too saw Easy rider decades ago.   It's a classic. 

Em-  How's the adoption?  Its been awhile and it seems you must have the patience of a saint.  You 're child is lucky to have a mommy like you.  I just wish they could speed things up!

SS-  Did you disclose to cop #2....and how is that romance blossoming?  I know its tough to let go of cop#1  even though you had strong feelings over him, but it will make you stronger and you deserve the best.

Queenie-  how are you feeling these days, and have you seen you son  since you last posted? 
what's happening with boo too!  BTW-  Love the Resident Evil games on PS2.  I was a gamer for a couples months.  I became so addicted about 8 years ago I had to just walk away..LOL
Parasite Eve, and Abe were some other games I loved....The first person point of view are my games.  Oh wait, silent hill was really challenging also.

Cin-  That job will come along.  I know you've heard it before but just when it seems like you can't take it anymore it happens.   I will definitely pray for you and employment if that's the direction you want to go.   Going back to school maybe an option, as you mentioned.
As for Stone and his internet accounts, you did the right thing by confronting him.  My co worker almost lost her mind.....her bf was on  match.com and she would constantly check.  It became "all consuming" and really counter productive in her life. 

Christy-   Sounds really different regarding your son.  My heart goes out to you.  Try to take it easy on the hairspray, we don't want you reeling out of control.

Belief glad to see you posting again.

Be well GF's my love goes out to you all.

[Queen Tokelove]

Camille--

Well, whoever Jack is, is besides the point and not an excuse for Ian. I am sorry that it had to end but be glad you saw this side of him early on. It sounds like to me,he has a lot of issues including anger and the best thing for that is space and plenty of it. Rite Aide is dreaded for you too, huh. I am thinking about switching to CVS. The Rite Aide I just switched to never has my scripts on time and also has put the wrong instructions on one of my bottles. And let's not forget about the pharmacist who thought I was selling my Haart medication because the faxed scripts came back illegal. I think I have had enough of them and has barely been dealing with them for a month.

I seem to see my son on a daily basis since putting him out but the route he is taking is not good at all. He tells me today that he got into with one of his cousins at a pool party for another cousin. Words and blows were exchanged and I guess my life got threatened in the process. The cousin lives directly across the street from me. I guess I wanted to test that theory because I purposely took the garbage out when said cousin was outside and nothing was said or done. My son keeps looking for fights or so it seems to me. I got a call from a friend who said my son kicked the cousin's car today for no reason other than to aggrevate him. My son seems to have blown caution to the wind and seems to be working on his street rep and nothing else. My words are once again falling on deaf ears.

I have not talked to Boo since the words were passed between us. I sent him an IM the following day apologizing but still not changing my mind on things. I have not heard back from him since, so I don't know how he is doing. I am pissed with him because he seems to have just given up and maybe I am wrong for that but if he doesn't care then......I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. I guess we are at a stale mate.

I love my first player games for the PS2. I need to find those games like Parasite Eve and Silent Hill. They seem harder to me than the Resident Evil games. But like I said, it is hard to track them down. I would like to get for my collection all the Resident Evil games, Silent Hill, Parasite Eve, Final Fantasy, and BloodRayne. Those would hold me for awhile cause I believe in getting my money's worth out of a game by not beating it in a week. The only game I have beaten is Resident Evil 4 and has moved to playing the after game. I also have Resident Evil Outbreak and Code Veronica but am stuck towards the end of the game...Grrrrr.

I am watching Hustle & Flow cause there is nothing else on at the moment. I will end here for now...*sings to herself*....It's hard out there for a pimp.....

[BT65]

Good morning ladies:

Cam, I'm sorry things didn't work out with Ian.  You know, I have never really bought that saying "we all have someone out there."  But maybe that's because of my age (42) and continued singleness.  I'm not looking, however.  I do date Liz occasionally, but I never try to hurry things into the relationship stage.  Liz and I hug good-bye, but have never even kissed.  Which is alright, because sometimes the things attached with a kiss are too deep, and may not be something I'm really into right now. 

Your Highness, I will check out that movie you mentioned.  I just love Johnny Depp.  You know, I was thinking about Tarot cards while reading the posts, and I was wondering, is there like a certain one made for folks who are just getting started with it?  I was wondering, because I was actually thinking of getting one.  And how do you know that it's working?  Is there like a special ceremony you do first?  I'm asking this because years ago, I used a ouija board, and I talked to a witch first, and she said to "baptize" it with holy water.  She went on to tell me that the holy water only comes out of a cemetary.  I used the board only once, with my daughter, since she's pretty good with those kinds of things.  I swore that I would never use it again, because the spirit of my first husband came out and he was a mean, abusive prick.  Someone told me once "if the person was an asshole when they were alive, they're an asshole when they're dead."  I guess that's true.

Cin, I'm getting frustrated with the job thing also.  The telemarketing place called me and said they only had full-time jobs available and if I wanted it, they would give me one.  I told them I couldn't.  I said it was because I'm in school, but actually, my doctor doesn't want me to work full-time, I know I couldn't handle it, and I can't lose SSDI.  You just hang in there and start the networking thing, like Em was talking about.  I'll bet you find something before you know it.  I agree with you about getting the things out of the boxes and making the house comfortable again.  I change my apartment around every once in awhile just to try to make things more comfortable.  This fall, I'm thinking of buying a futon and getting rid of my bed (I live in an efficiency apt).  That way I'd have more room in here.  I would eventually like to get a bigger apartment, but here I don't pay any utilities, they're included in the rent, and it's hard to find a deal like that.  And I just signed another year's lease. 

I hope the rest of you ladies are doing alright.  I definitely have to get working on papers that are due in my classes.  Where I go to school, the classes are eight weeks long.  There's still a 15-week semester's workload in them though and I have four papers that are due in three weeks.  Other than that, things aren't very exciting here.  But, I guess it's better to be noneventful than having a lot of stressful things happen. Have a good one ladies.

[tendai]

dont u wish u could make a man out of plasticine and make it to your exact specifications physically and then programme it so it acts exactly the way u want it to.  that would be fantastic

[MOONLIGHT1114]

.....or break open a Fortune cookie and land the job of your dreams!  LOL   

[Queen Tokelove]

Betty==

When I started out with tarot, I had a deck called Rider - Waite. I think I am spelling that right. Most decks come with the instruction book. You can also do different spreads too. LOL@ how do you know it's working. I wish I could explain it better to you but I just don't have the words.... I don't know how to explain it to you is what I am saying. I messed with a Ouija Board once but it was when I was a kid. It's something I don't really mess with or take lightly because it is consider a "door" and if it you are not experienced can cause some problems, let's just put it that way.

Getting back to one of the themes of this thread....Men...They say women assume things and jump to conclusions, I beg to differ. As I said in a previous post, I kinda snapped at Boo about not taking care of himself the way he should. I send him an IM the very next day apologizing for being bitchy but he knew what was going on with me stressing about my son. And I explained my concern for him as well. After the IM, I figured I would just back up for a few and give us both time to simmer down. Why do I get an IM saying that he guess I considered it all to be a game. I am like WTF?  Where did he get this from? I could've flown off the handle but explained instead how I felt and why I backed off like I did. I am at a loss because I am trying to figure out where he got this from. If I didn't care then I wouldn't have been begging him to do things to try to lower his fever or to call his doctor...Sigh. men, can't live with them, want to choke the shit out of them. How come gay men can figure us ladies out but to straight men we seem to be a freaking mystery.........

[MOONLIGHT1114]

Amen to that, GF!  Sorry that Boo is still in his feverish state and not thinking clearly where you are concerned.  Oh just shit on it , I say sometimes. Sigh.

As far as my cards, I totally agree with having your mind clear, so as not to influence the reading too much one way or the other.  I usually do the "Celtic Spread" which I love, in order to get detailed views on past, present and future.  Sometimes, I'll do a quick 3-card reading.

Ever since Drag gave us that link, I've signed up to get emails each month from the site.  Its been more like every week, though.  They email you a description of a card.  So, I've kept all of the emails in a folder in my email to refer to.  Pretty neat.

Got the frikkin Seven of Swords yesterday in the online reading.  I always get that damn card, with the lightning bolt coming down at me and all.  Too much emotional turmoil, lol!

I have an interview tomorrow with a head hunter who does direct placement, and not temp placement.  She advertised a position that is way down the road for me, BUT the hours are flexible!  I could possibly work 10am to 630pm and miss rush hour both ways!  Yippee!  The recruiter is also a diabetic with a twin sister and a brother, too.  They are all diabetic and I told her about my pump.  Glad to help where I can! 

~Cindy

[BT65]

Good morning ladies:
  I don't know what I am doing up so damn early.(only 6:00 a.m. here).  Just couldn't sleep anymore.  I did get a paper for school done.  Three more to go.  There's only three weeks left of the classes I'm taking now.  At the school I go to, classes last eight weeks.  There's still a 15-week long semester's worth of work in them.  It makes them go by fast.

Queen, sorry to hear about Boo.  What to do.  Did he say if he was feeling better yet and able to eat.  Sometimes it seems like if guys don't get a woman's constant attention, they lash out. 

Cin, glad to hear about your job interview.  I have a question for you-why did you have to get an Insulin pump?  Did regular injectable Insulin quit working or something?  And the pump, is it actually "in" your skin?  I'm just wondering, being diabetic myself and all.

I hope the rest of you ladies are all doing alright.  I'm going to look around here for awhile.