No more STD's x Condoms for life

[Rockin]

Weird title I know, let me explain.

I was just thinking...we got used to condoms right? It's pretty much part of our lives. For those who are poz and neg. For humans, all over the world.

And yet it doesn't stop these diseases. And it never will. Because condoms are such an unnatural thing. Sex, and sexual desire, comes from such an irrational side of us, that animal side of us. Putting a latex thing over your penis while your hormones are taking over is just so wrong. We got used to it but it's insane when you stop 5 minutes to think about it.

This whole thing makes me think of the "war on drugs". It's a lost war, people will never stop taking drugs, ever. Government will continue spending billions of money on something that will never stop. 

My point is: researchers and labs should stop relying on humans using condoms as the means to end STD's and instead focus on a cure. For all of them.

No More STD's. That would even be a good name for a campaign.

I'm not taking an anti-condom stance at all. But I thought about my own situation: I always used condoms....ALWAYS. Then I was in a relationship and didn't use it for, I don't know, 5 times. And that's all it took.

One slip and that's it.

I wonder how willing researchers and labs are in trying to end STD's. I even believe there's some dirty politics surrounding it: STD's are, at the end of the way, one of the reasons people use to scare kids into not having sex.

I always remember that scene from Mean Girls.

Coach Carter: "If you have sex you'll get Chlamidia...and you'll die".

If there's no sexual disease then hey, all those 15 year olds will start humping around like crazy, right?

I just wonder if this is an obstacle for more intensive funding and research. Sorry If I couldn't write this post in a more objective way.

[Joe K]

Hey Rockin,

I'm not sure how to respond, because your thoughts are all over the place.  To begin, we advocate the use of condoms because they are the only way to stop infections, are relatively cheap and available almost worldwide.  A world without STDs would be wonderful, but it's not reality.  To suggest that research is not being done to cure any and all diseases is grossly unfair.  There are researchers working non-stop to better our understanding of diseases and just because they can't cure something yet, does not negate the need for the research that will lead to a possible cure.

Also, comparing HIV to the "war on drugs" simply makes no sense.  You can't infect another through your drug use and the drug war involves clashes with legality, because the best way to stop the abuse of drugs is through effective treatment.

What troubles me about your post is the idea that all STDs must be cured, so you can enjoy bareback sex.  It's not that I don't understand or empathize with your desires, but you don't base sound public policy on carnal desires.

Joe

[drewm]

To suggest there is no "cure" for STD's or HIV/AIDS because of some plot is woefully disingenuous. A great many researchers are working feverishly on better treatments, cures and ends to all kinds of illness.

[Rockin]

To suggest there is no "cure" for STD's or HIV/AIDS because of some plot is woefully disingenuous. A great many researchers are working feverishly on better treatments, cures and ends to all kinds of illness.

Not implying that there is some "conspiracy theory" but I do think STD's have this "Well its your own fault you got this" stigma. And I think this might hinder research and funding.

[Joe K]

Not implying that there is some "conspiracy theory" but I do think STD's have this "Well its your own fault you got this" stigma. And I think this might hinder research and funding.

Rockin,

Yes there is stigma surrounding STDs and dozens of other things in life, but stigma does not a conspiracy make.  You are dead wrong if you think funding/research is affected by social stigma.

Joe

[Buckmark]

Not implying that there is some "conspiracy theory" but I do think STD's have this "Well its your own fault you got this" stigma. And I think this might hinder research and funding.

If it's not your fault, who's fault is it?

I'm not big on finding fault.  But I am big on taking responsibility.

Who do you think is responsible for you becoming infected with HIV?

[Rockin]

If it's not your fault, who's fault is it?

I'm not big on finding fault.  But I am big on taking responsibility.

Who do you think is responsible for you becoming infected with HIV?

Ok but this should not matter when it comes to trying to find a cure for STDs or for Alzheimer, for instance.

I just think condom use will not get us very far. Everyone slips up eventually.

How come theres still no vaccine for herpes or chlamidia? I just wonder sometimes about those things, pointless as it might be. 

[buginme2]

You are mixing three separate topics. 

-using condos to prevent std's
-finding a cure for std's and HIV
-HIV Stigma

Simply because condoms are promoted to to preven HIV doesn't mean people aren't working on a cure.  Conversely even if a cure is found doesn't mean people should stop using condoms.  Stigma is a topic all it's own.

Something tells me your having issues with your status.  Why don't you be straightforward about what's really going on?

[Rockin]

You are mixing three separate topics. 

-using condos to prevent std's
-finding a cure for std's and HIV
-HIV Stigma

Simply because condoms are promoted to to preven HIV doesn't mean people aren't working on a cure.  Conversely even if a cure is found doesn't mean people should stop using condoms.  Stigma is a topic all it's own.

Something tells me your having issues with your status.  Why don't you be straightforward about what's really going on?

Nope. Just thinking more about it these days than usual. It just dawned on me how condoms became a part of our lives, as unnatural as they might be, and just caught myself wondering about it all.

[mecch]

Rockin: 
STDS that have treatments or cures or vaccines:
HIV
HPV
Hep B
Hep C
Herpes
Chlamydia
Syphilis
Gonorrhea

Todays amazing treatment for HIV is reflective of millions of man hours of research and untold fortunes of cash.
There is a lot of worry these days about new gonorrhea that might beat today's antibiotics.  Surely some researchers are already on the case.  When was in my 20's I was able to get vaccinated for Hep B.  Pretty amazing. Now we have more effective treatment for Hep C.  There's a vaccine for HPV.
And through it all, there's the trusty cheap condom.  Often free. Its free all over bars and clubs in switzerland!

What the hell are you talking about?

Putting some of your recent threads together, I'm guessing you have ambivalent and unresolved feelings about how to conduct your sex life now that you are HIV+. I agree with Bug!!

The other day it was bravado about HIV criminalization laws.  Today, hovering around the outskirts of conspiracy theories.... Though you are too smart to really go there.

Chill!

[Rockin]

Rockin: 
STDS that have treatments or cures or vaccines:
HIV
HPV
Hep B
Hep C
Herpes
Chlamydia
Syphilis
Gonorrhea

Todays amazing treatment for HIV is reflective of millions of man hours of research and untold fortunes of cash.
There is a lot of worry these days about new gonorrhea that might beat today's antibiotics.  Surely some researchers are already on the case.  When was in my 20's I was able to get vaccinated for Hep B.  Pretty amazing. Now we have more effective treatment for Hep C.  There's a vaccine for HPV.
And through it all, there's the trusty cheap condom.  Often free. Its free all over bars and clubs in switzerland!

What the hell are you talking about?

Putting some of your recent threads together, I'm guessing you have ambivalent and unresolved feelings about how to conduct your sex life now that you are HIV+. I agree with Bug!!

The other day it was bravado about HIV criminalization laws.  Today, hovering around the outskirts of conspiracy theories.... Though you are too smart to really go there.

Chill!

lol yes, I may be ambivalent about certain things, sure. Who here can attest they are 100% sure and confident about things all the time? I have my insecurities just like anyone.

Am I wrong to believe that HIV has been kind of "swept under the rug"? I just do not hear too much about it as I used to. So it leads me to think that its not as urgent as once was and that maybe research and funding is not as high as it used to be.

Its just a thought, I have no basis to attest these things. Its just a personal perception. 

[Joe K]

lol yes, I may be ambivalent about certain things, sure. Who here can attest they are 100% sure and confident about things all the time? I have my insecurities just like anyone.

Am I wrong to believe that HIV has been kind of "swept under the rug"? I just do not hear too much about it as I used to. So it leads me to think that its not as urgent as once was and that maybe research and funding is not as high as it used to be.

Its just a thought, I have no basis to attest these things. Its just a personal perception.

Hey Rockin,

I read your replies a few times and I have a little food for thought.  When you become poz, you experience wild swings in emotions, thoughts and feelings and it's all a part of adjusting to your status.  I think that most people experience what I call, scattered thinking, where your mind is racing so fast, asking questions and seeking answers and it's very normal to become dazed and confused.  While this is a very normal reaction, for me, it created far more questions than answers, but I needed those answers, except not for the reason you might suspect.

When I became poz, I felt like a man under siege.  I was so fearful of getting sick and dying, that I looked for anything and everything to support my desire to survive.  My guess is you might feel the same way.  You might feel so afraid right now, that you are looking everywhere for reinforcement that you can and will survive being poz.  All I can offer is that is a perfectly normal reaction, because becoming poz is a very big deal, however, right now, you probably cannot see many things clearly.

Again, all of this is perfectly normal.  These feelings can become incredibly intense, but just because you feel something, does not make it real.  For me, feelings are neither good nor bad, they just are.  It's the actions that may follow certain feelings that can be troublesome, so I suggest you simply allow yourself to feel, whatever it is you feel, without the need to do anything about it, including causing you to question your ability to survive.  Sometimes, I think we may over-think issues and the more we ruminate on certain issues, the worse they seem to become.

I just want you to know that what you are experiencing is a perfectly normal reaction to becoming poz.  That's its OK to be dazed and confused at times and when that happens, let us know and we'll help in any way that we can.

Take care,

Joe 

[mecch]

Am I wrong to believe that HIV has been kind of "swept under the rug"? I just do not hear too much about it as I used to. So it leads me to think that its not as urgent as once was and that maybe research and funding is not as high as it used to be.

Some people have that impression, but its kind of silly to admit you know none of the statistics.  I wouldn't suggest you start reading too much about HIV cure and treatment research at this point however.  As Killfoilie says its kinda a topsy turvy moment and maybe you can take comfort in the fact there is NOW very effective treatment for HIV.
Also, remember, the world never seems to have enough money to solve all its pressing problems.  And there are never enough scientists either.  Why is HIV the most pressing problem - besides its because it effects us!  Global warming, new energy sources, pervasive hunger, how many horrible diseases that are fatal, etc etc etc.

[bocker3]

Am I wrong to believe that HIV has been kind of "swept under the rug"? I just do not hear too much about it as I used to. So it leads me to think that its not as urgent as once was and that maybe research and funding is not as high as it used to be.

Its just a thought, I have no basis to attest these things. Its just a personal perception.

I have bolded the crux of what is going on here.....  Now that you are HIV+ you are looking harder for things about HIV -- most likely far more so than prior to your infection.  That is normal and to be expected.  So, now consider -- why no cure for influenza and only a "best guess" of most likely strain for vaccine each year?  Why no cure or vaccine for the common cold?  I could go on and on......  My point is you are looking harder for something now than before and in doing so, you can develop tunnel vision and not see the bigger picture. 
I don't think stigma is causing people to not research HIV -- there used to be HUGE stigma around cancer, but research continued because we are in a much better place with most cancers today than back in the 60's or 70's when the word cancer was always whispered.

Mike

[drewm]

I am reading a lot of really good advice here Rockin, interspersed with the obligatory preaching and teaching that comes with this site. It's important to remember that a lot of people on this board have been fighting this disease for a very long time. Although some know more and some know less, we are all learning and our perceptions and opinions, hopefully, evolve over time.

As you share your perceptions and opinions, which are very worthwhile in the context of one newly dxd and dealing with this from that aspect, please take some time to read and ask questions of some of the folks on this board. As you feel your way around, you will become more comfortable with some, less comfortable with others but one thing I was told when I first came here has panned out as the absolute truth.

THERE IS A WEALTH OF EXPERIENCE AND INFORMATION ON HERE.*

*not yelling, just emphasizing the value of this board

[Ann]

Am I wrong to believe that HIV has been kind of "swept under the rug"? I just do not hear too much about it as I used to. So it leads me to think that its not as urgent as once was and that maybe research and funding is not as high as it used to be.
 

Wow, you're all over the place, aren't you. In this thread you're worrying that hiv has been swept under the rug, but in another thread you're thinking that all we need to do to reduce stigma is to convince people that hiv is  "no big deal".

Make up your mind! Which way do you want it?

[spacebarsux]

Wow, you're all over the place, aren't you. In this thread you're worrying that hiv has been swept under the rug, but in another thread you're thinking that all we need to do to reduce stigma is to convince people that hiv is  "no big deal".

Make up your mind! Which way do you want it?

Correct me I'm wrong, but I think he (Rockin) meant that the stigma, prejudice and judgment against poz folk is alive and thriving but the safe-sex slogans, AIDS hysteria of the Pre HAART era has more or less ebbed away.

[Hellraiser]

Something tells me your having issues with your status.  Why don't you be straightforward about what's really going on?

Completely spot on.

So you're complaining about the "5 times" you didn't use condoms you got infected.  You do realize that for condoms to be effective you have to use them all the time.  "Everyone slips up sometimes", yes they do, unfortunately for you when you stopped being completely adherent with condoms you contracted HIV.  If you "slip up" on meds long enough and intermittently enough you will potentially develop resistance here.  Do you see that at the end of the day condoms not working is not a fault with the condoms but a fault with your usage of the condoms?

Also to say that condoms have done nothing or are worthless is frankly a crock of shit.  Each infection that is not passed on slows down the overall number of people with this disease dramatically.  Condoms prevent infection just as awareness and undetectable viral loads do.  We may never cure this disease but if we can prevent its spread or drastically lower the infection rate then we begin to win.