Worried and anxiety plus testing advice.

[Dadz1990]

Firstly hi, long time reader first time poster. What a fantastic none judgmental community you have.

Wondered if someone in the know can help, I would appreciate it.

I made a silly decision after a few drinks little over a week ago. The exposure was male to male and I sucked his dick (sorry for the crudeness but figured been straight to point was better than using medical words and is all getting mixed up) that was all, no other sexual activity.

I know that from reading on this that this is a near no risk event but not entirely no risk at all.

I think the fact he didn’t cum in my mouth and as far as I’m aware I had no cuts or ulsers in my mouth (and at the very least nothing open and bleeding at the time) stands in my favour even more.

I still don’t think that anyone medically or otherwise can hand on heart say no risk whatsoever so even low low risk to me … with my anxiety’s is a risk none the less.

I am married so I’m finding this all a bit hard to come to terms with.

I have been googling a lot recently, due to spots and swelling in my arm pits. They flared up 4-5 days after the encounter and google seems to suggest that while this is none specific it can be a sign of very recently attained HIV so of course my mind then focused on the 0.01% chance (or whatever the chance is) rather than the advice of this forum.

Testing is difficult for me both in distance to nearest clinic and a hiv test turning up at home raising alarm bells.

I have however been able to order an at home INSTI HIV kit. Says in the package it’s the quickest at home kit to detect recent acquired hiv and can work from 4 week (conclusive results at 12). What’s the real world view on this if I test at 4 week and I’m negative (as I assume you expect it to be) is that a very good sign or no real help at all. Am I better holding off for 12 weeks?

I have been able to go for testing for Clym and Gon as I was in a different city I was hoping to rule out Syph and HIV but they did tell me that they couldn’t on this visit as too early.  They kindly gave me a jab for Syph that would about it even if I had it.

So leaves me on tender hooks in regards to HIV so the sooner I can rule it out the better.

I think worryingly the nurse did not offer any reassurances to me about oral and HIV saying any contact with a male is a risk that needs checking. She also stated that it would be a good idea to get him to test now as that would give you reassurance so I tried to make contact with the male and he’s ghosted me (as you can imagine this fueling  my anxiety even more)
Thanks in advance.

[Jim Allen]

x

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about taking PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get tested regularly and at least yearly for STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and, the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the "Do I have HIV?" The forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

[Jim Allen]

P.S

The best thing I can do for you is to say, please don't post about this again. It's not an HIV issue and I can't assist you further, allowing this thread to continue would not help you.

Best, Jim.

[Dadz1990]

I’m only posting again to say thank you! I really appreciate the response timely and informative and glad I was at no risk. I will move on without worry about this. The nurse was a bigot and no it was not my paranoid mind I can quote some things she said but like you said let’s not go there as it’s not fair on the community. But she was very judgmental and loved using covid as an excuse to do sweet fa. And based on what you have said I will report her.

Thanks again.

[Jim Allen]

You're welcome.

And based on what you have said I will report her.

Good, bigots in the medical community that are allowed to express this and let their world views influence their medical advice over medical science are no good to patient care. The "any contact with a male is a risk that needs checking" is absolutely shocking.

[Dadz1990]

Hey Jim,

Thanks for your help earlier, can I ask why your response has changed from a very detailed and helpful response to a “X” and your generic response?

I only ask because I emailing with the complaints team around the treatment I got and I was going to attach  a copy of your reply, but it’s gone?

I take it it’s just a mistake or it does this after a while.

I hope it dosnt mean that your opinion has changed ? You did help me with my anxiety and now it’s gone I’m not so sure.

If it can be put up again maybe that will help others also?

Hey listen I realise this is pathetic anxiety driven obsessing but yeah help me again haha.

[Jim Allen]

Thanks for your help earlier, can I ask why your response has changed from a very detailed and helpful response to a “X” and your generic response?

Yeah, I was doing some admin on the forum and deleted the original reply by mistake. I apologize.

I only ask because I emailing with the complaints team around the treatment I got and I was going to attach  a copy of your reply, but it’s gone?

I take it it’s just a mistake or it does this after a while.

I hope it dosnt mean that your opinion has changed ? You did help me with my anxiety and now it’s gone I’m not so sure.

If it can be put up again maybe that will help others also?

Hey listen I realise this is pathetic anxiety driven obsessing but yeah help me again haha.

Sure Ill post a new reply to your original post later tonight when I am back at a laptop. Nothing changes though in terms of your assessment.

[Jim Allen]

Firstly hi, long time reader first time poster. What a fantastic none judgmental community you have.

Wondered if someone in the know can help, I would appreciate it.

I made a silly decision after a few drinks little over a week ago. The exposure was male to male and I sucked his dick (sorry for the crudeness but figured been straight to point was better than using medical words and is all getting mixed up) that was all, no other sexual activity.

I know that from reading on this that this is a near no risk event but not entirely no risk at all.

I think the fact he didn’t cum in my mouth and as far as I’m aware I had no cuts or ulsers in my mouth (and at the very least nothing open and bleeding at the time) stands in my favour even more.

I still don’t think that anyone medically or otherwise can hand on heart say no risk whatsoever so even low low risk to me … with my anxiety’s is a risk none the less.

I am married so I’m finding this all a bit hard to come to terms with.

I have been googling a lot recently, due to spots and swelling in my arm pits. They flared up 4-5 days after the encounter and google seems to suggest that while this is none specific it can be a sign of very recently attained HIV so of course my mind then focused on the 0.01% chance (or whatever the chance is) rather than the advice of this forum.

Testing is difficult for me both in distance to nearest clinic and a hiv test turning up at home raising alarm bells.

I have however been able to order an at home INSTI HIV kit. Says in the package it’s the quickest at home kit to detect recent acquired hiv and can work from 4 week (conclusive results at 12). What’s the real world view on this if I test at 4 week and I’m negative (as I assume you expect it to be) is that a very good sign or no real help at all. Am I better holding off for 12 weeks?

I have been able to go for testing for Clym and Gon as I was in a different city I was hoping to rule out Syph and HIV but they did tell me that they couldn’t on this visit as too early.  They kindly gave me a jab for Syph that would about it even if I had it.

So leaves me on tender hooks in regards to HIV so the sooner I can rule it out the better.

I think worryingly the nurse did not offer any reassurances to me about oral and HIV saying any contact with a male is a risk that needs checking. She also stated that it would be a good idea to get him to test now as that would give you reassurance so I tried to make contact with the male and he’s ghosted me (as you can imagine this fueling  my anxiety even more)
Thanks in advance.

Hiya,

So the nurse sounds like a bigot to me and there is no way scientifically to justify the comment she made that any contact with a male would warrant HIV testing. I would have a hard time believing this was said but sadly I know doctors and nurses that still think just shaking hands or hugging could be an HIV risk and I have experienced problems getting healthcare myself because of this kind of nonsense.

Anyhow what the nurse said is simply incorrect as there is contact you can have with people including men that is no HIV risk whatsoever and there are also activities that may pose a risk. 

If the nurse was within my region I would be reporting her as bigots need to keep their personal world views to themselves and not let it cloud their medical judgment or treatment of patients.

Anyhow regarding the blowjob, it doesn't warrant HIV testing outside of standard yearly routine. Move on with your life.

As for the recent symptoms, seek medical advice to treat it, nothing to do with HIV from this encounter and I would recommend you consider seeing a different medical provider than the one you spoke to the first time.

I am married

I'll mention the same thing I do whenever anyone mentions being in a relationship. If you engage in condomless intercourse with your partner you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. Often within relationships, condomless sex is based on trust or past test results, however, this does not prevent HIV, and any condomless intercourse is accepting the greater risk of acquiring HIV.

Test more frequently for HIV & STI's if you do engage in any condomless intercourse.