Panhandling

[GSOgymrat]

The other day I was in a McDonalds, reading a magazine while eating my lunch, when this guy interrupted me to ask me for money for food. I can't remember exactly what he said but he had thrown in a couple of Jesus references in a transparent attempt to garner my sympathy. I found his appeal, which sounded scripted, particularly disingenuous. I gave the guy $5 and he went to the counter. After I left I really felt like a chump. My partner thinks I did the right thing by giving the guy money but I still don't feel good about it. Part of me feels I should help a person in need but another part of me knows I was played and that I have encouraged this guy to continue to beg from people in restaurants. I participate in food drives, have money taken out of my paycheck for the United Way and contribute to other charities, such as our local ASO, but I have an aversion to panhandling. What do you all think?

[BT65]

Well GSO, I can certainly understand your feelings.  Where I live, we have tons of people, holding signs about "working for food."  One lady even took her kid to stand with her, and continues to do so, because it brings her lots of $$. 

If someone on the steet asks me for money (and at my job I get nickeled and dimed all the time), I offer to buy them a hamburger.  If they don't want that, then I keep going.  At my job, I have the resources available to help the person, which is usually a referral to an agency that can help them work on their issues. 

I wouldn't feel bad for helping someone get something to eat.  Does it encourage the guy to keep up the panhandling?  Well, maybe.  But, if you don't have the time to help the guy work on all his issues, then I say you did the right thing.  Just my opinion.

[Jeff G]

I have no problem with panhandlers and feel its not my place to judge how some soul got themselves into to position to do so .

When I lived in chicago I used to go looking for one lady in particular . She lived on the streets in my neighborhood and was mentally ill . If I had leftovers from a big meal I would pack some up and go looking for her and give her food and cigarettes . Some local business owners hated me for doing it and claimed it only made her stay in the neighborhood .

I sat down one night and talked to the homeless woman and it was clear to me she is never going to get well . She had untreated schizophrenia and was delusional most of the time .
She had been institutionalized at some point but was released back to the streets for some reason .

When she would see me coming down the street she would smile and reach out for my hand and say love ya baby . Many times when I would offer her food or a smoke she would tell me I'm doing good tonight baby , thank you .

My point is you rarely talk to these street people but if you do you will find that after all they are just people and some people need more help than others .... real help not judgements .  

[Alain]

I understand your feelings about it, but there is a lot of people in need all and around us.

Sad reality of life, and I am so fortunate that I was never in that position.

You did the right thing and he was hungry and bought food.

I rarely give money except to charity, and if I am around panhandlers, I always asked them and offer to buy a meal, and that is if I can afford it.

[veritas]

Ford,

Think of it this way, you did the right thing from within. Although he did approach you in a restaurant (which seems a little aggressive), he did go up to the counter and presumably ordered a meal, thus, hopefully, excluding the most common criticism that he used the money for drugs or alchohol.

Next time, offer to buy him some food, as suggested by BT65. I've done that myself.

v

[Miss Philicia]

What do you all think?

The first thing you learn when you move to a big city is that these people come along every five seconds and you don't give anyone anything.

[GSOgymrat]

My point is you rarely talk to these street people but if you do you will find that after all they are just people and some people need more help than others .... real help not judgements .  

Actually seeing homeless substance abuse clients and the chronically mentally I'll is part of my job. Many are regulars in the emergency depts or the psychiatric hospital. There is a whole cycle that is getting progressively worse as the state cuts funding. Many people go from the ER, to the psych unit, to the shelter, to the street and back again because the government is eliminating group homes, residential treatment and longer-term inpatient hospitalizations. Eventually people know exactly what to say in order to be hospitalized. This is a huge waste of resources, but honestly if I was in their situation I would do the same thing because the system is broken. Perhaps because I know all of the resources available in the community and because I know  how the system works I have more of a problem with someone panhandling in a  restaurant. I guess I feel  giving this guy $5 is a quick fix that makes the overall problem worse in the long run. Also, like I said, I don't like someone trying to  manipulate me emotionally into giving them money, which is exactly what he was attempting to do with his schtick. I respond much better to a sincere "can you help?" than "don't you want to be like Jesus?" 

[skeebo1969]

    Ford, He probably used the straw from his drink to snort coke or smack after finishing his Value Meal.  

    Down in Miami panhandlers were a huge problem beside the highways.  I use to like to blow my horn to get the beggars attention while behind a long line of cars waiting for the light to turn green.  When they would turn around to see who had blown I would look straight ahead acting like it wasn't me.  Once they got some distance I would blow again causing them to walk back and forth... sometimes I would get evil and point some car out to the beggar as being the car that had blown.

    Pulling over about a hundred yards in front of a hitchhiker, and acting like I am waiting for them, only to race off the second their hand touches the door handle of my car is always loads of fun

[mecch]

Something about his appeal touched you. And he bought food.  Sounds like you did the right thing. Doesnt have to change your adversion to panhandling.  
Two local addicts know I am sometimes a soft touch. They go through their panhandling "story" - usually needing it for food or to sleep in the local shelter, which isnt free.  I dont know what they do with the money really.
I give more often depending on my day, and the circumstances - the weather, the time of day.  Its the human connection, the taking the moment to notice and listen and respond.  

If its raining, I've had a hard day, and looking forward to being home and dry and food and drink, and yet I'm sad that I'll be alone that night, - I am a complete sucker.
Also, if i am particularly happy, than Im a sucker.
Its when I am more in an auto pilot mode or if I'm irritated that I don't want to give.

[skeebo1969]

   Now in these type of situations below...  you have to admit, lending a hand is quite compelling.

[Miss Philicia]

I like when I see white hipster panhandling.  For some reason they used to perch next to an ATM on Christopher Street though I'm quite sure they weren't gay.

omg... *totally* forgot this.  One time I picked up a guy in a bar, took him home, had sex and all that.  About a month later I saw him on the street begging.  I think he had just wondered into that bar in his spare time.  No wonder he wanted to shower when he came over.  I thought it was just to rinse out the copious amount of foreskin.

[Hellraiser]

I don't know how I feel about this.  There are a fair number of people who could seriously use a helping hand.  How many of them would improve their situation given the chance?  Realize that some people are content with begging/panhandling for a living and have no interest in improving their station in life. 

Another segment are exploiting/gaming the system they make a LOT of money doing this and will get out of their cars and suits, dress up in their beggar's rags and make 100-200 bucks in a day of begging.
If 40 people give them 5 bucks in a day, and they do this 5 days a week they are making 48k a year without being taxed.  Not bad huh?

At the end of the day I've given people money before, but I always wonder what they're doing with it.  In my mind I see them running off to vegas along with my money and all the sucker's money that came before and after me living the high life, buying hookers, and doing blow.  I've come to the conclusion that unless I personally know someone I won't give them money.  However, when I do know someone and I "loan" them money I essentially think of it as a gift and if I get it back, so be it.  If not, then I hope they really needed it.  Of course in my current state of financial disrepair I'm in no position to give anyone money anymore.

PS: At one point in our lives haven't we all been at least somewhat bad off and needed help from someone else?

[mecch]

I used to give a few coins to that crazy homeless lady around MOMA who wore wild gowns made out of dryer lint or garbage bags and electrical tape
Just for brightening my day.
Hear she's still around.

There were two famous commuting beggars in the late 80's early 90's. One came down everday from a house in Woodstock.  

I think you give based on a vibe in "the ask".  I think there's no problem not giving.

Some hipsters were begging in front of the movie theatre and I talked with them for awhile and gave them my movie pass. 

[mecch]

Sex with the homeless is another adventure.  Maybe another thread.

[seaspice]

  There are times , I wont give a cig to someone ,  but remember some guy in the dead of winter pan handling on a ramp in Boston , Very Cold day  single digits ,
    Sometime just go with your heart !

[Jeff G]

There was a guy who used to park his car near North Western Hospital in Chicago . He had an adorable toddler in the back seat as bait . His game was to tell passerbyes his battery was dead and he needs 20 bucks to get home with his daughter who has leukemia . This to me was a scam artist not a person in true need . I hated to see him teach that beautiful child this kind of life but he did it for a couple of years that I know of .

I should have been more clear . Its the mentally ill people that have been left to there own devices that tug at my heart strings .      

[Jeff G]

Sex with the homeless is another adventure.  Maybe another thread.

OH Dear . Don't make me tell that story   

[mecch]

I've gone home with guys cause I had no where else to go.

Never panhandled per se, but there are all kinds of ways to compensate the kindness of strangers.....

[GSOgymrat]

Kind of a tanget, but in the 70s my mother was very egalitarian about picking up strangers on the side on the road. I used to hate it when she would pick up hitchhikers with my younger brother and I in the car. We were always very anxious sitting in the back seat with some smelly stranger. My brother used to hold my hand as we waited for person to pull a knife (in my nightmares it was always a switchblade). She also took people up on their "Will work for food" advertisement. Some people would be quite upset when we got home and she handed them a shovel and pointed to a truck full of mulch.

[Ravhyn]

I spent my ages from 16-18 on the street's.  no one would hire me, i was a runaway couldn't even find shelters that would let me stay in them because i had my dog with me.  I kept my dog well fed though and on a leash he was all i had.  they tried to take him away from me once in austin, but i wouldn't let them.  at one point my brother who has really bad lungs ended up joining me. it was xmas eve and we were hitch-hiking to michigan to see family.   i had a lot of pride and it was hard for me to ask for money, sometimes i even turned people down who offered me money. one man got really rude with me because i wouldn't take his money.  but, i'm proud in those years i smoked weed maybe once or twice offered to me on the street's of chicago but i never did anything.  Nor did i ever sell my own body. 

Before i became homeless i remember being in nashville during a big free concert and ending up down by the river i met a homeless couple.  my heart really went out to them, the homeless woman took her own jacket off and put it around my shoulders because she was worried about me being cold. If i had had a place of my own then i would have took them home and helped them.

Thats what i did though for most of the past decade, right now i have two people living with me both temporarily homeless.  I've taken in tons of people and tried to help them some do right, and some end up walking out with half my poesssions. but to me its paying back all those people who helped me when i was homeless.

[BT65]

but, i'm proud in those years i smoked weed maybe once or twice offered to me on the street's of chicago but i never did anything.  Nor did i ever sell my own body. 

That's admirable, Ravhyn, but there are some people who have done drugs on the streets, and sold their body, and have managed to go on to bigger and better things.  I'm sure you didn't mean anything, just sayin'.

And Ford, I know exactly what you mean about the people recycling through the centers, and psychiatric hospitals.  Where I work, it's primarily with the homeless, and a lot of them are mentally ill, and haven't been correctly followed up on.  And they go from one shelter to the next, get stable for awhile, then it starts all over again.  That's (at least here) thanks to the state cutting more and more from Medicaid, and mental health services.  It's very frustrating.

[Ravhyn]

That's admirable, Ravhyn, but there are some people who have done drugs on the streets, and sold their body, and have managed to go on to bigger and better things.  I'm sure you didn't mean anything, just sayin'.

And Ford, I know exactly what you mean about the people recycling through the centers, and psychiatric hospitals.  Where I work, it's primarily with the homeless, and a lot of them are mentally ill, and haven't been correctly followed up on.  And they go from one shelter to the next, get stable for awhile, then it starts all over again.  That's (at least here) thanks to the state cutting more and more from Medicaid, and mental health services.  It's very frustrating.

oh no my apologies i was just trying to say for myself, that i'm proud of myself.  especially since before i ran away i smoked a lot of weed and did  a lot of x.  Did a lot of things i regreted. I've seen a lot of people who cleaned themselves out one woman who was living with me with her boyfriend.  i was so proud of her, and she had been a crack addict for decades.  i helped her through the worst of it.  and she got her life together they bought a place.  i miss them..

[skeebo1969]

 

 

[Matty the Damned]

When I see a beggar (usually only in the CBD of Sydney - I presume they're bank execs down on their luck) I generally give some spare change.

There but for the grace of teh Invisible Pink Unicorn (Blessed Be Her Holy Hooves) go I and all that.

MtD

[skeebo1969]

  i was so proud of her, and she had been a crack addict for decades. 

 This is like Betty's $3000 a day habit.  I don't know how in the hell they survived long enough to make it back.  I remember in treatment I met a lady who smoked crack for 9 years.  Here I was close to death after a 9 month run, and she looked like she could handle another 9 years easily.  I just chalked it up to being a wimp.   Made me really think hard about relapsing, but I didn't...  well except in the eyes of them blue book worshipers maybe.

[Miss Philicia]

This is like Betty's $3000 a day habit.  I don't know how in the hell they survived long enough to make it back.  I remember in treatment I met a lady who smoked crack for 9 years.  Here I was close to death after a 9 month run, and she looked like she could handle another 9 years easily.  I just chalked it up to being a wimp.   Made me really think hard about relapsing, but I didn't...  well except in the eyes of them blue book worshipers maybe.

I know someone who has done heroin for 20 years.

[Bucko]

I give whatever small amount I can, though I resent it terribly.

[BT65]

This is like Betty's $3000 a day habit. 

It was $3000/week, dear. 

[GSOgymrat]

   Ford, He probably used the straw from his drink to snort coke or smack after finishing his Value Meal.  

McDonalds does have nice wide straws.

[pozniceguy]

In this part of Texas there are so many sponsors of "help" , church groups.,local "helpingHands". town/county shelters and the traditional state and Federal  agencies  that I would rarely give anything to a street panhandler.... In the city of Dallas it is actually against the law to Panhandle and /or stop to give money to a panhandler..  there are still plenty of people out there  doing it for whatever reason.    basically I avoid them or tell them where to get help...

I especially dislike the well versed /rehearsed story.....   and the guy that sells yesterdays newspaper.

Nick

[skeebo1969]

It was $3000/week, dear. 

That was a typo or a brain fart, I am sorry about that Miss Betty... 

[PeteNYNJ]

Betty

Soon it will 3000K a minute!  LOL 

[skeebo1969]

  3 million is quite a stretch there Pete....

[WillyWump]

We have these panhandlers on every corner here.

I'm always troubled when I see them, because I will ALWAYS feed a stray dog/cat and give them water but yet I balk at giving panhandlers money. In my mind it doesnt seem right that I would treat an animal better than a human in need, and I have yet to come to terms with the dilemna.

What breaks my heart the most is to see a pregnant panhandler, I dont even like to think about what that poor child is up against.

-Will

[skeebo1969]

What breaks my heart the most is to see a pregnant panhandler, I dont even like to think about what that poor child is up against.

-Will

She breaks my heart too....

[Oceanbeach]

They say she was an architect at a high-end design firm in Los Angeles...  The people of Waikiki just called her "Excuse Me" because she started every pan handling solicitation with "excuse me, do you have an extra 1 or 5?" They say she went over the edge and she spent all her time reading news papers in busy tourist areas.

I gave her a 1 and some change once and she gave the change back saying, "I only asked for 1 dollar."  I saw her leaving her apartment once and it was just off Kalakaua Ave on Waikiki Beach.

There was also a guy from Australia who regularly asked for a buck because he needed to make a long-distance phone call and was short a buck.  Cell phones were expensive to operate in those days but, I asked what number he wanted to call because I was willing to pay for the entire call on my phone, right then.  He really wanted the dollar.  Having read somewhere there is a lot of money to be made in panhandling    Have the best day
Michael

[StacheBC]

Sometimes I give, sometimes I don't.
Once given, the money is theirs (IMO).

The way I see it, it was up to me to decide wheather or not to give... it's up to them to decide how they want to spend their money.

If I want to give money with the intention it will be spent in a certain way, I give my local Food Bank or some other organization I trust.

[tednlou2]

If the guy actually bought food, then I think you did something good.  While out at the bars, we get hit up for money all the time.  I usually offer to go buy them something to eat.  One time, this guy had a sign saying he was a veteran and needed money for his family.  I was on my way to the grocery store.  I saw him in the store buying beer with the money he collected.  I was going to say something to him, but I thought this guy obviously has an addiction.  I found it very sad actually.  I thought at least he was robbing people for the money.  I know it still doesn't make it right.

Another time I was parking in this parking lot next to a bar.  They had stopped charging for parking there a couple months earlier, but this guy came up to me wanting $3 to park.  I paid it.  Later, I realized I had been taken.  He was hanging out in the lot collecting money from people.  Some people could make thousands a year from doing stuff like this. 

[BT65]

McDonalds does have nice wide straws.

Do you remember those little spoons that McD's used to have for mixing sugar in the coffee?  Those were perfect coke spoons, for snorting.  When McD's discontinued making them, if one still had a few, they could sell them for a couple bucks. 

Sorry about the brief hijack. Just a bit of history.

[GSOgymrat]

Do you remember those little spoons that McD's used to have for mixing sugar in the coffee?  Those were perfect coke spoons, for snorting.  When McD's discontinued making them, if one still had a few, they could sell them for a couple bucks. 

Sorry about the brief hijack. Just a bit of history.

That is funny! I never knew that.

[red_Dragon888]

I gave the guy $5 and he went to the counter. After I left I really felt like a chump. My partner thinks I did the right thing by giving the guy money but I still don't feel good about it. Part of me feels I should help a person in need but another part of me knows I was played and that I have encouraged this guy to continue to beg from people in restaurants. I participate in food drives, have money taken out of my paycheck for the United Way and contribute to other charities, such as our local ASO, but I have an aversion to panhandling. What do you all think?

Well, I think you did the right thing to do what your heart, brain, or other part of your body told you to do.  I have been in the same situation, but in the end if they didn't need the money they wouldn't be begging.  Yeah, I felt angry maybe because it was a scam to get more money but I wasn't homeless in the cruel world having to invent new ways to survive.  I am guilty also of giving only when I felt the need to give.  There would be times when someone would come up to me and ask for money on the train or street and I just was not in the mood to be charitable.  Then on other occasions I would be asked for money and I would gladly give to him or her.  To feel mad is just human and maybe you just felt scammed.  In the end, maybe you helped someone alittle becaused they really needed help.

[Ravhyn]

man, i must have been in the wrong areas....(lol) cause i sure didn't make no thousands of dollars when i panhandled.  Course, i think was putting in more applications then anything.  when i did randomly stay with people it wouldn't last that long before they passed me off too someone else. 

I used too roleplay online. on a forum and everytime someone would be pay for me to move to somewhere else buy my ticket telling me there were jobs and i would jump. get there, and despite countless applications i never found anything.  course i think filling out applications with no job experience, a dog and everything you own in a duffel bag beside you was a big part of that.  they'd give me a place to stay for about a week most of them and when i couldn't find work kick me to the curb.

i spent time in missouri, tampa florida, austin texas, denver colorado.  idaho falls, idaho.  came home once to family did a couple months at job corps in kentucky. and some time with my mom in michigan until my step dad couldn't keep his hands to himself.

i still remember a lot of people i met out there, i took care of one crazy girl from austin and finally got her into a mental home i hope she is still there(for her sake). her family kicked her out for being crazy and the girls at the shelter stole her i.d so austin, texas wouldn't let her back into there shelters. 

[dixieman]

There are Several Schools that are located in larger metropolitan cities in this country that Actually TRAIN people on how to pan-handle... now in montgomery theres an older black woman that panhandles... she use to be a college professor... long story short... this women has several incomes arriving also she is a retired professor... now she is mentally disturbed but, I think she rakes in a nice retirement along with her dividend checks... alot of people think she is homeless but, she lives in a decent home... jg1962 is probally familar with her... he use to live in montgomery... so I rarely if ever give monetary cash... I have offered to buy people food only to have them get pretty upset... I have no problem walking on... or driving by...

[Miss Philicia]

K

http://www.myspace.com/schoolforbeggars

[ademas]

I don't carry cash.  I use almost exclusively plastic.
It's easy to say no when you don't have anything on you.
I also don't appreciate being approached in a parking lot, or near an ATM, or when coming out of a store.  A friend of mine was mugged and robbed by a panhandler who approached her in a grocery store parking lot.
I prefer to donate a lump sum to the food bank or one of the local missions.

[GSOgymrat]

Here is The Straight Dope article on panhandling: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2255/how-much-money-do-beggars-make

In short, it's pretty hard to get good data on the issue. Michael Scott summarized matters as well as anyone: "Most evidence confirms that panhandling is not lucrative, although some panhandlers clearly are able to subsist on a combination of panhandling money, government benefits, private charity, and money from odd jobs such as selling scavenged materials or plasma." If I were you, I'd keep my day job.

[Ravhyn]

pfft screw college i'm going to panhandling school lol j/k

[red_Dragon888]

pfft screw college i'm going to panhandling school lol j/k

you go girl!!!

[GNYC09]

I know it's not part of our Western culture but in some African cultures and in India it is considered bad luck to not give to beggars (I think only if they are disabled).  And then you have the Buddhist cultures where monks and nuns traditionally lived by begging for alms.  

Personally, I think you did a good thing.  I personally don't give to beggars but that's just because I'd be broke if I gave to every one I ran into...

[aupointillimite]

pfft screw college i'm going to panhandling school lol j/k

I hear they have classes like "Needing Gas Money 101" and "How to Cover Up the Smell of Booze 310."

The played out stories usually get on my nerves.  Once or twice, a panhandler has actually told me that he wanted to buy beer.  That got money out of me, since I think it's important to reward honesty.