Worried if I made the right call

[Anxiety19990]

Hi-10 days back I went to a massage parlour where I engaged with naked body to body massage which involved genital rubbing without protection and mutual masturbation. During mutual masturbation, I believe there was situation where both myself and the lady used the hand used for fingering to masturbate/stroke my penis. This 2 event led me in a kind of panic. I checked with an online HIV specialist who prescribed me an PEP. Meantime, I asked the lady to undergo HIV-1 RNA PCR test and HIV DUO test. 2 days back when the result came out positive I threw away the medicine because for some reason I felt this medicine would do harm to my kidneys and lungs and it’s not worth it for this low risk. I threw away the medicine.

But ever since I have been in tremendous anxiety. Not sure if I made the right call or not
1. I haven’t got her tested for HIV-2 PCR which is quite rare in India. around 3-4% where I live. Not sure how much I need to worry about it.
2. She can be in her window period as well. But can a person with undetectable viral load in PCR be able to infect others
3. I am starting to question the validity of the test itself. The PCR test was from a certified lab but not a well known or famous lab. Is there any way they could mess up the test and give a false negative
4. My 6 month old baby accidentally hit his hand against my teeth. There was no cut but my some saliva got in his hand. I tried to wipe it out as much as possible. My baby has the habit of sucking his finger. Assuming I am infected, will the minute saliva infect my baby whose jaws and teeths are developing. I read very low hivs are present in saliva, that’s how oral HIV kit are developed and a 6 month old might not need too much of virus to get infected.

[Jim Allen]

I engaged with naked body to body massage which involved genital rubbing without protection and mutual masturbation. During mutual masturbation, I believe there was situation where both myself and the lady used the hand used for fingering to masturbate/stroke my penis.

Zero HIV risk to you.

My 6 month old baby accidentally hit his hand against my teeth. There was no cut but my some saliva got in his hand. I tried to wipe it out as much as possible. My baby has the habit of sucking his finger. Assuming I am infected, will the minute saliva infect my baby whose jaws and teeths are developing. I read very low hivs are present in saliva, that’s how oral HIV kit are developed and a 6 month old might not need too much of virus to get infected.

Oral HIV kits check for antibodies, not the virus itself, and saliva is hostile towards HIV breaking down the receptors and doesn't contain viable copies of HIV.

Anyhow, your child had no HIV from sucking your finger or bumping your hand with their teeth. Although, consider a pacifier instead to prevent other issues.

I don't know from your post if you are in a relationship with someone, but it's possible, so I will share my standard relationship HIV risk comment:

If you engage in condomless sex with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, you should consider testing more frequently.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

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[Anxiety19990]

Thanks Jim for the quick reply.

For some reason my mind is convinced that this event was really risky one. So just to calm down my anxiety can I ask you why do you think it’s a zero risk.

Both these activity- genital rubbing and masturbation with vaginal fluid can result in exchange of vaginal fluid then why it’s a zero risk. Please help me understand. I am uncircumcised if it matters in any way

I took a risk and stopped PEP after 3 days. And if I have to test for PCR ( I know this detects the virus and has the lowest window period), how early I could do it for sake of reassurance.

I really appreciate you taking your time to respond to my queries

[Jim Allen]

And if I have to test for PCR ( I know this detects the virus and has the lowest window period), how early I could do it for sake of reassurance.

If what you posted was an HIV risk, I would recommend screening with an HIV antibody test, not a PCR. However, I am not going to pretend what you posted here requires testing, not even under the guise of reassurance,  as that would be a disservice to you and the community.

Both these activity- genital rubbing and masturbation with vaginal fluid can result in exchange of vaginal fluid then why it’s a zero risk.

Nobody has acquired HIV through fingering, lacks a route for you to acquire HIV, and masturbation means whatever fluids have been exposed outside of the confines of the human body. HIV is fragile, and the receptors degrade outside of the human body, leaving HIV unable to infect. Now as for the genital rubbing (Fottage) again outside the confines of the body in addition, the fluids produced when a woman is excited/simulated is a lubricating fluid that doesn't even contain viable HIV.

So no HIV risk, and the above is just short; there are more barriers and reasons why this isn't an HIV risk. To keep it brief, your concerns lack any of the biological or environmental conditions that are simultaneously required to acquire HIV, and hence nobody has ever acquired HIV the way you are concerned.

You did have risks for other easier-to-acquire STIs and infections but no need to panic; just get a routine STI screening yearly.

Now I wish you well, but please don't post about this again; I already consider one post on this topic excessive.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.