POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Dan on July 02, 2006, 01:48:02 pm

Title: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on July 02, 2006, 01:48:02 pm
I'm new to this forum, so I'm sorry if I do something wrong.

About ten days ago I had protected vaginal sex with a sex worker.  It only lasted about a minute, then I took off the condom and left.  A couple of days after this I began having mild constipation and feeling joint pains.  Now I also have a sore throat and muscle aches.  And when I read on the internet that these were symptoms of acute HIV infection, I got really scared.

I saw a doctor, he said it was very unlikely I got infected.  He asked I return in three months to take the hiv test, though.

I'm scared the condom may have not worked or that I may have not used it correctly.  I used a latex condom.  It didn't break, and it didn't slip off my penis.  But, there may have been air in the condom.  Does that make it less effective?

I'm really scared, guys.  Please help.  This is constantly in my mind, day and night.   
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: jkinatl2 on July 02, 2006, 01:56:12 pm
Protected sex is not a risk for HIV.

Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on July 02, 2006, 02:51:41 pm
Thanks for the comment.  I'm really worried because it was my first time using a condom for sex.  I'm not sure if I used correctly. 
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: RapidRod on July 02, 2006, 03:03:38 pm
Go to any reply posted by Ann and click on condom info at the bottom of her posts.
or click here
http://www.aidsmap.com/en/docs/A3A8AC7F-76A2-4632-9015-9AD643811C60.asp (http://www.aidsmap.com/en/docs/A3A8AC7F-76A2-4632-9015-9AD643811C60.asp)
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Andy Velez on July 02, 2006, 03:17:17 pm
Fortunately feelings aren't facts. Using a condom for intercourse is a fact. Latex condoms have been proven to be very effective protection against HIV transmission.

Unlike your doctor, I don't see any need for testing in relation to this incident nor for further concern on your part.

Just keep using a condom everytime you have intercourse and you'll be fine as far as HIV is concerned.

Be aware that along with being very exciting, becoming sexually active also can stir up a lot of anxiety for a variety of reasons. I suspect that's playing some part in relation to your recent experience. You're doing just fine and it's the smartest thing for you to always use a condom for intercourse, no matter whom you are with.

This time out I don't see any reason to worry further. If you have symptoms ongoing, discuss them with your doctor. This is not an HIV situation.

Cheers,
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on July 26, 2006, 06:28:07 pm
I'm sorry for starting a new thread. I should've read the guideliness a little more carefully.

About four weeks ago I had protected vaginal sex with a sex worker.  About three days after that I started feeling joint pains, a sore throat, and a kind of rash on my arms.  That's when I found my way to this website, and I was told protected sex was not a risk for transmission.  Most of those symptoms then went away once I stopped stressing about it so much.  But a couple of days ago I noticed skin peeling from my arms again, like a rash but it doesn't itch, and I worried again.  Then I read in this forum that the kind of rash related with acute infection does not itch.  Now i'm really scared.  The condom didn't break, it didn't slip, but could i have gotten infected  when I touched my penis after touching the condom to remove it?

Please help guys.
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Andy Velez on July 26, 2006, 09:20:56 pm
No, you would not have infected yourself in the manner you are concerned about. You did just what you are supposed to do. You used a condom for intercourse. Keep on doing that everytime you have intercourse, no matter who the person is whom you are with. No exceptions.

From what you have written I'm guessing you're new to this kind of sexual activity. ALong with being exciting it can also be anxiety provoking including in relation to getting accustomed to using condoms. You're doing ok and you were not at risk in this incident for HIV.

   
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on August 01, 2006, 09:39:22 pm
I really hate to continue bothering you guys, but I just can't put this behind me.  I feel physically and emotionally broken. 

Now I've learned that the woman I had sex with is at a very high risk of having HIV.  And even though I used a condom, and the condom appeared to remain intact throughout, i'm still feeling mucle aches five or six weeks later.  When I saw the doctor he told me I had an almost zero chance of contracting HIV, and you guys have said I wasn't at risk over this incident.  When I was just getting myself to believe that, I read condoms fail 15% percent of time, and then my head began churning up all sorts of worst case scenarios.  This is in my head all day every day.  It's horrible. 

Is it possible for a condom to remain intact and still fail?

I wasn't planning on testing anymore, but since it's very possible she is HIV+, should I test?


Thank you for any advice you could give me.  I really really appreciate what you all do for us.  Thank you.
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: AIDS2HIV on August 01, 2006, 09:48:02 pm
Do NOT use two condoms at once...doubling a condom can actually cause breakage, use one latex or polyurethane condom PROPERLY, and you will be 100% safe.

Always use waterbased lubricants, and always use latex or polyurethane condoms. Condoms manufactured in japan are actually the best, as they are ran through the most thorough inspections and tests, before being released to the public* Also, MALE condoms are most affective all the way around, comfort, reliability, etc.

Be sure to pinch the tip of the condom,expelling the air-pocket out of the tip before you put the condom on, and roll it down over you. The most commen contributers to condom breakage are air pockets, lack of sufficiant amount of water based lubricants, or the combination of the two.

where does doubling condoms fall into the equation? doubling a condom provides airpockets both between both : the two layers of condoms, and also between the first condom and your skin. doubling condoms, is comparable to russian roullette, you may get lucky a few times, but that luck wont last long....

In closing, never use an Oil-based/petroleum based lubricant, as they will weaken and break down the latex/polyurethane compounds, inviting breakage, and drastically increases the chances of breakage*

Some will say condoms arent 100%, however studies have proven, that when used PROPERLY, condoms do have 100% rating. Its sad that they post the stats that factor in incorrect use, when determining reliabilty ratings*

and dont forget, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY doesnt end when the condom is rolled down, it only takes a fraction of a second to check and make sure the condom is staying in place,etc....



and if you STILL cant get the fear and anxiety to stop controlling you, go seek professional mental healthcare, and sit down and talk about it*....address your real issues....Good Luck & God Bless*
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: RapidRod on August 01, 2006, 09:48:40 pm
A condom does not faiil without you noticing it. No you have no reason to test.
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Ann on August 02, 2006, 05:02:39 am
Dan,

People aren't high risk, but some activities are. It's not who you do, it's how you do it. You did the right thing and used a condom. Condoms have been proven to be very effective when it comes to hiv transmission prevention. There are couples all around the world where one partner is positive and the other is negative and they protect the negative partner by using condoms. I've been in a poz/neg relationship for seven years and he's still hiv negative. Condoms work.

Ann
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on August 19, 2006, 01:40:19 am
I know that yall don't like discussing symptoms on here, but I just have two quick questions.

It's been eight weeks since my possible exposure, and I'm still having joint pains, mostly in my knees, sometimes my elbows, for like the seventh straight week.  And a few days ago I began feeling pains in my under arms.

I've read that ARS symptoms generally last two week, but could a symptom like joint pains linger on for many weeks?

Does anything of what I said sound like ARS, or am I really just going crazy?

Thank you.
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: ScienceGuy25 on August 19, 2006, 02:01:18 am
Quote from: Dan on August 19, 2006, 01:40:19 am
I know that yall don't like discussing symptoms on here, but I just have two quick questions.

It's been eight weeks since my possible exposure, and I'm still having joint pains, mostly in my knees, sometimes my elbows, for like the seventh straight week.  And a few days ago I began feeling pains in my under arms.

I've read that ARS symptoms generally last two week, but could a symptom like joint pains linger on for many weeks?

Does anything of what I said sound like ARS, or am I really just going crazy?

Thank you.

Dan

You're really just going crazy.  That is you're driving yourself crazy with worry about HIV.  First of all you know that symptoms do not indicate HIV status, secondly unless you went to medical school at some point in your life you are not at all qualified to diagnose ARS symptoms.  (no reading something off the net does not make you an M.D.)

Did you know that your mind can play tricks on your body and when you suffer from such intense anxiety your body can actually exhibit physical symptoms?? And of course this is self perpetuating - with each new "symptom" you think your exhibiting, you further convince yourself that you've contracted the virus, thus your  anxiety increases and you can have even more symptoms.  All of this of course has nothing to do with HIV.  But if you're like most people you will insist that this coudn't possibly "all be in your head." When in fact there is a 99.99% chance that it is in your head.

If you've never been tested, than you should be tested.  HOWEVER, you did not contract HIV from this incident.
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Ann on August 19, 2006, 06:38:31 am
Dan,

You used a condom so you didn't have a risk of hiv infecton.

Go see your doctor about the pains in your joints. It could be something serious, but whatever that something is, it won't be hiv. You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on August 27, 2006, 12:29:09 am
I can't stop my fears and anxiety from controlling my life.  I really can't.  I've never had joint pains like these, come to think of it, I don't remember ever having joint pains.  And I can't help but think the pains are HIV-related.  I do plan to see a doctor about about this very soon.  I'm so afraid the condom failed me. 

My question is this, does removing the condom and not washing up increase the risk of infection?  I remember freaking out so much right after the possible exposure, that I just wanted to get as far away from that place as possible.  There hasn't been a day in these past two months that I don't regret doing what I did.  My life has been mud since that day.

Do anything I do after removing the condom carry a risk of infection, such as touching condom to remove it then touching genitals to clean up with tissue paper, possibly transmitting infected fluids from outside of condom to unprotected tip of penis?

If this site didn't exist, I think I'd really would've gone mad by now.  Thank you so much for your advice and your support.
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Ann on August 27, 2006, 04:20:03 am
Quote
I can't stop my fears and anxiety from controlling my life.  I really can't.

Dan,

You CAN, really you can. Please get yourself some face-to-face counseling where you can learn how to stop anxiety running your life.

Condoms prevent hiv infection. EVERYONE who uses condoms must take them off afterwards. What happens then doesn't matter where hiv transmission is concerned because transmission just doesn't happen outside the body in this manner. There are hundreds and thousands of poz/neg couples around the world where the negative partner remains negative through condom use. I'm the positive partner in such a relationship myself and have been for over seven years. Condoms work. Please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line.

You were not at risk of hiv infection in anything you did. You did the right thing and used a condom. Please work with your doctor to find the cause of your joint pain - there are many things that could be causing it, but it won't be hiv as you did not have a risk.

Ann
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: Dan on September 28, 2006, 09:06:27 pm
I just have a quick question.

I know you've said HIV infects inside the body and that HIV quickly loses its ability to infect once outside the body.  But then, how do IV drug users get infected by sharing needles? Does HIV survive longer outside when bloodborne?
Title: Re: scared. please help.
Post by: RapidRod on September 28, 2006, 09:11:45 pm
HIV is bloodborne infection. How does one get HIV from swapping works? Blood is infused from the first user to the second user without first being cleaned and flushed. Now we're talking immediate use.