My sonsfriends mother today...

[momoftwo]

So today I took my two year old out to the courtyard of our complex to play with his little friends. I have become acquainted with two of the mothers there and they were talking about sex etc. One of them looked at me and said that I was lucky that I do not have to use a condom because they suck. I just replied that taking meds twice a day, numb feet, night sweats, worrying about blood work and not tolerating meds suck even more than the three minutes of the condom that you endure.
I know I do not fit the profile of what most of suburbia sees as being HIV positive. I think I scared her enough to continue to use condoms.
Upon reflection I wish that I had used a condom that one time...

[belief]

hi sweetie,

ugh.  sounds like an odd and somewhat uncomfortable moment for you and i'm sorry you had to go through that today.  BUT, if nothing else good came from your day--i hope you feel good about encouraging your friends to always use condoms.  and i sure hope they take your advice!

btw, why would she assume you wouldn't use a condom?  just because you're pregnant? 

[momoftwo]

Apparently because I am pregnant everyone assumes that I would not use a condom.

[resilientboy]

i feel you on that on girl!!!  you have balls to tell em str8 up like that more power to you

[belief]

Apparently because I am pregnant everyone assumes that I would not use a condom.

i've got to say that in my previous life - i would not have used a condom while pregnant...and didn't.  so, i can understand why they would think you wouldn't. 

did they already know your + status?  or did you have to go ahead and explain that as well?  i feel for you, it probably wasn't such a fun day...

[Ann]

Mom, you took the words right outta my mouth! Like I always tell them over in the Am I forum,

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

It's frightening how many young men and women only worry about pregnancy. Too many women think the Pill is all they need for protection. And yes, I used to be one of them, more fool me.

Kudos to you for trying to educate them. If they have internet access maybe you could direct them to the three condom and lube links in my signature line.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

[Peter6836]

People just do not realize. I have a similar story. My son came to me and told me he fathered a child. He wants to do the right thing and supply child support and be a part of the child's life. He called a meeting of the family I have three other children and he informed us of the situation. I was not so upset about having an illegitimate grandchild as I was that he had unprotected sex. We ended up having a long discussion about condoms and the fact that they were not just for birth control. People seem to think that the only thing that can happen is that they can get or get someone pregnant. Some people think that the pill is going to protect them from everything. I think we just do not talk about this enough. Good for you, your honesty and openness may just save some one a lifetime of grief.
Peter

[momoftwo]

They did not know about my HIV status. I only really know them through our sons playing outside in the evening. I am very open about my HIV because I feel that putting it out there in their face takes away part of the "it will never happen to me" syndrome. That being said I only bring it up when it is part of a subject or something. Case in point when I was in the WIC office the other day I was being chastised by the front desk receptionist for asking about formula coverage when the baby is born. I looked at her and said I cannot due to my HIV status. She actually immediately turned from judging to talking about how hopeful the HIV outcome is now.
I recently talked to a divorce support group about HIV. It is so true how many men and women in their 50's were not using protection because there was no fear of pregnancy. I even had one woman tell me that there are less AARP's with HIV. Not true if you look at my id clinic waiting room! There are plenty of heterosexual people in their 70's even with this disease!