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Author Topic: Some Clarification Please  (Read 20707 times)

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Offline modena

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Some Clarification Please
« on: January 04, 2013, 08:42:45 am »
Hi Anne,

I have been reading the various Forums on this site and i must say i am extremely impressed with the knowledge you and your fellow administrators posess and also with the no nonsense advice that you provide.
I tend to visit sex workers in the UK (London) maybe 20 times a year on average and always use condoms for intercourse however there have been plenty of times where i have received unprotected blowjobs.
I have read enough posts on this forum to understand your views on the ZERO risk of aquiring HIV from unprotected blowjobs so i am not going to waste your time by asking if i am at risk of HIV because this is clearly not the case.
I have always checked the intergrity of the condoms everytime after each encounter just to double check that there was no breakage therefore as far as i am concerned i have followed protocol to ensure i never aquire HIV.
What concerns me is something i read on one of your forums for people who have tested positive for HIV.
There was one guy who very recently tested positive but couldn't understand how he was infected and he claimed to ALWAYS having protected intercourse. He had also tested negative only two weeks before testing positive and even then it was because he went to request PEP after a risky exposure.
This guy seems to have been extremely careful and yet has managed to aquire HIV. What i don't understand is how can you test negative and then positive two weeks apart? Unless he only had an antibody test initially and it did not include the p24 Antigen test?
The reason that i am slightly worried is that this person took all the relevant precautions and still managed to contract HIV which means it is possible that despite taking the same precautions i may also be at risk?
I would have thought that the majority of people who test positive (especially due to recent exposures) would be able to identify how and when they potentially aquired HIV?
I had a random HIV test a couple of months ago which came back negative as i thought after 10 years of visiting sex workers it was probably a good idea to take a test even though i had taken the necessary precautions of ALWAYS using condoms for penetrative sex (except for receiving oral).
Given the safety measures i was taking i was not surprised to receive a negative test result even though waiting for the results is always a situation that creates anxiety which is understandable.
Since my last negative test i have had only one encounter which again involved unprotected oral and protected intercourse and i was not unduly concerned about this encounter until i read about this guy who had tested positive despite practising safe sex.
Should i have another HIV test over this one encounter?
I am married therefore i want to be sure before i resume unprotected sex with my wife.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2013, 09:48:05 am »
You're overthinking this situation.

Yes, someone can test negative and then positive 2 weeks later because he could have been in the conversion period when he tested negative. It happens.

And despite what he or anyone says about always being "careful" and practicing safer sex, "somehow" they ended up positive, often there are gaps in what is being reported. Memory has gaps as does someone's willingness to acknowledge some slip in being careful, among other things.

But rather than getting onto that slippery slope, what you need to know is that  using condoms consistently for vaginal and anal intercourse have proven for decades to be very effective against HIV transmission. Nothing but sex with your own hand is 100% safe, but condoms come pretty close to that when worn properly.

Other STDs are much easier to acquire so we do advise anyone who is sexually active to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least annually and twice a year is even better. Aside from other issues having other active STDs can make you more vulnerable to HIV transmission.   

But for HIV latex condoms do the job very effectively. Stop complicating things and just get on with your life and consistent use of condoms.
Andy Velez

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2013, 10:09:51 am »
Andy,

Thanks for the quick reply.
I forgot to mention that at the time of my last negative HIV test two months ago i also had a full STD screening which came back all clear (this included testing for Gonorrhea, Chlamidya, Siphilis and Hepatitus B).
I will probably take an HIV DUO test here in London at 28 days post exposure just for peace of mind as this test in the UK is considered conclusive after this time frame.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2013, 07:23:53 pm »
Your worrying notwithstanding, I don't expect anything other than a negative result for you. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2013, 06:43:28 am »
Thanks Andy,

It's comforting to get some reassurance from someone who knows what they are talking about.
I probably wouldn't even bother testing under normal circumstances given the zero risk nature of my last encounter.
However because I am married there is another person's health I need to look out for as we'll as my own therefore it would make me feel more comfortable resuming unprotected sex with her once I have received the (hopefully) negative test results.
Your counsel has been very much appreciated and let me just add that yourself and all the other moderators are doing a fantastic job in helping those of us with far less knowledge of HIV and how it can be transmitted.

Offline modena

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Am I worrying about nothing?
« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2013, 01:56:46 pm »
Hello,

I am a heterosexual male.
I recently received unprotected oral and had protected vaginal intercourse with a female sex worker in the UK.
After I had finished with the sex worker she left my house. 10 minutes later I decided to retrieve the used condom from the waste basket and do a 'water test' on it just to confirm that it did not break.
I conducted this test in my bathroom sink (wash basin) and the condom passed the test without issue. I then disposed of the condom once more and then wiped my bathroom sink with Dettol to disinfect it given that it had been exposed to the used condom. I think I cleaned it thoroughly and I don't think I missed any areas of the sink.
What I'm slightly worried about is that approximately 15 minutes later I filled the same bathroom sink with water and plugged the hole to retain a reservoir of water so that I could use it to periodically clean my shaving blade while I had a wet shave before going out that evening.
If I missed an area of the sink when I was cleaning it with Dettol is there anyway I could contract HIV from rinsing my shaving blade in the sink water and then using that blade to shave my face?
I'm aware that HIV is quite a fragile virus and doesn't survive for long outside of the body but I just wanted to double check with you that this situation does not pose a risk to me of aquiring HIV?
How long does HIV remain viable on the outside of a used condom (if the female that was penetrated was HIV positive and the condom had her vaginal fluid on it?)
I didn't cut myself whilst shaving in the sink after the condom water test however if I did without realising it would this have made it possible for HIV transmission to occur?
Do I need to test over this?
I washed my hands thoroughly after handling the used condom however if I had a small cut on either of my hands could I be at risk?
I would appreciate it if you could please answer each of the questions I have asked above.

Many thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #6 on: February 26, 2013, 02:00:48 pm »
HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #7 on: February 26, 2013, 02:09:06 pm »
Thanks RapidRod.
So basically I assume from what you are telling me that I can move on without worrying about this situation and I do not need to test over this?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2013, 02:18:45 pm »
Thanks RapidRod.
So basically I assume from what you are telling me that I can move on without worrying about this situation and I do not need to test over this?
No you do not need to test.

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2013, 02:35:01 pm »
Thanks Dude I really appreciate you putting my mind at ease. You won't believe how worried I have been about this.
I was actually thinking that I could be the first person in the entire world to be stupid enough to protect myself against HIV correctly during sex only to then subsequently aquire it by shaving in a 'contaminated' wash basin after the sexual act had actually finished :-[
I will not worry about this for a second longer and I will get on with my life.
You are doing an amazing job advising those of us who need your expert knowledge.
Thanks again and keep up your great work!!

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2013, 01:15:28 pm »
Hi just a quick question for you....
Does having your ball sack licked and sucked pose any threat of aquiring an STD?
I visited a sex worker recently and she licked and sucked my balls and then put a condom on and proceeded to give me head until I came into the condom.
There was no anal or vaginal penetration of any sort whatsoever.
Can I assume that I am all clear as far as HIV or any other STD is concerned?
Do I need to test over this?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2013, 01:28:00 pm »
Hi Modena . Having your balls sucked and licked isn't a risk for HIV .

As for other stds and ball licking , yes it is possible to acquire syphilis and herpes from skin to skin contact . We deal with HIV assessment in this forum but since you asked I answered .   
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Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2013, 01:39:11 pm »
Thanks Jeff for your comments.
So I do not need to be tested for HIV with regards to this encounter?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2013, 01:55:38 pm »
Thanks Jeff for your comments.
So I do not need to be tested for HIV with regards to this encounter?

That's correct , you do not need testing for the no risk encounter you described . No need to test .
HIV 101 - Basics
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Offline modena

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Paraniod
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2013, 08:27:35 am »
Hello,

I am a 36 year old male living in the UK and i've just recently started a new relationship with a woman.
We decided to have a full STD screening/panel done together before we started having sex.
Both of us came back negative for all STD's including HIV.
We have still not had unprotected sex but plan to do so shortly given that we are both apparently clear of any infections.
However I am having some slightly irrational/paranoid thoughts for which I wanted some advice from the esteemed experts on this forum.
My new partner has been extremely sexually active in the past and has admitted to occasionally having unprotected sex however she has always tested negative for HIV.
My worry is that is there anyway if she was HIV positive that she could have cheated the HIV DUO test?
Is it possible for someone who is HIV positive to get on meds and get their viral load to 'undetectable' and then be able to test negative on an HIV test?
I'm aware that standard HIV tests check for antibodies and NOT the virus itself however if the viral load becomes 'undetectable' would this cause the anitbodies to disappear as well or do they stay present in the body forever?
What I am essentially asking here is if you have been infected with HIV will you ALWAYS test positive for HIV antibodies even if you have an undetectable viral load as a result of being on HIV meds?
I assume there is absolutely no way a person who has HIV can cheat an HIV antibody test?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2013, 08:39:13 am »
If both of your HIV tests were taken at 3 months after your most recent unprotected incidents, then your negative results are conclusive and reliable.
Andy Velez

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2013, 08:51:12 am »
Thanks Andy,

Yes I can confirm that both of our tests were conducted outside of the three month window period.
However my concern is about the following questions I asked in my previous post.
I would be extremely grateful if you could please provide some clarification on the following:

"My worry is that is there anyway if she was HIV positive that she could have cheated the HIV DUO test?
Is it possible for someone who is HIV positive to get on meds and get their viral load to 'undetectable' and then be able to test negative on an HIV test?
I'm aware that standard HIV tests check for antibodies and NOT the virus itself however if the viral load becomes 'undetectable' would this cause the antibodies to disappear as well or do they stay present in the body forever?
What I am essentially asking here is if you have been infected with HIV will you ALWAYS test positive for HIV antibodies even if you have an undetectable viral load as a result of being on HIV meds?
I assume there is absolutely no way a person who has HIV can cheat an HIV antibody test?"

Offline Ann

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2013, 08:58:12 am »

"My worry is that is there anyway if she was HIV positive that she could have cheated the HIV DUO test?
Is it possible for someone who is HIV positive to get on meds and get their viral load to 'undetectable' and then be able to test negative on an HIV test?


The short answer is NO.

Once a person tests hiv antibody positive, they will always test hiv antibody positive.

An undetectable viral load will not change that.

Very often when an hiv positive person changes doctors, the new doctor will have them take another hiv antibody test for their (the doctor's) records. These tests will always come back hiv positive, regardless of how long that patient has been on hiv meds with an undetectable viral load.

You've done the correct, responsible thing by getting tested together before starting to have sex. And just to reinforce the point, I'll give you my standard statement regarding avoiding hiv infection, for future reference if nothing else.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
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Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2013, 09:13:43 am »
Thanks Ann,

The clarification you provided was perfect and it answered all the questions I had with regards to whether or not it was possible to cheat an HIV antibody test if a person was indeed HIV positive and you have confirmed that it's basically impossible.
Can I just add that you and the other moderators do a fantastic and selfless job in advising those of us who don't have a great depth in knowledge of HIV.
Please keep up the great work and know that you are extremely appreciated by those like myself who have questions to ask but require them to be answered by people who know what they are talking about.

kind regards

Offline Ann

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2013, 09:22:48 am »
You're welcome, Modena.

And please know that your subscription helps keep this place up and running. Those of us who answer questions here are volunteers, but we do have other operating costs. So thank you for that.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #20 on: May 16, 2013, 02:12:24 pm »
Hello Ann and all the other moderators on this forum.

I had an encounter with a CSW in London five days ago and I just wanted your opinion as to whether or not I have anything to worry about.
I had smoked a joint shortly before visiting the CSW just to chill me out a little. I wasn't stoned however I was definitely feeling the effects and maybe this fact has made me slightly paranoid about the encounter.
We started off by deep kissing and she was massaging my penis until it became erect.
She asked if I wanted to cum twice (the first time through oral and the second time through vaginal intercourse) and I said "Yes".
She then proceeded to give me a blowjob (I requested that she put a condom on my penis first).
After about 10 minutes of receiving a blowjob I decided that I wasn't going to be able to cum twice in the state I was in therefore I wanted to just finish off by engaging in vaginal intercourse with her.
When I told her this she seemed slightly annoyed as she said that she had now sucked off all the existing lube on the condom.
Anyway she proceeded to put what I assume was a water based lube on the same condom which was still on my penis and we engaged in vaginal intercourse.
This lasted no more than a further 10 minutes or so.
After ejaculating into the condom I pulled out immediately and this is where my paranoia is getting the better of me.
I am thinking 'what if the condom failed?' I don't think it did because I remember looking at the tip of the condom when I withdrew and I could see that semen had been collected in the tip reservoir.
However I didn't inspect the condom as thoroughly as I would normally do due to still feeling the effects of the joint.
I assume if the condom had failed it would have been obvious to both myself and the CSW who was watching as I pulled out of her?
I am angry with myself for being under the influence of marijuana and as a result not having a completely clear indication of the structural intergrity of the condom when I pulled out of her.
Do you think with this uncertainty I have about the condom that I should get tested for HIV?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #21 on: May 16, 2013, 05:48:28 pm »
Hi Modena . Condoms are designed so that if they fail , they do so catastrophically . If the condom failed you would have known it because it would have been in shreds and noticeably damaged . You do not have to worry over this incident .   
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Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #22 on: May 17, 2013, 11:56:43 am »
Thanks for the reassurance Jeff.
Even in my intoxicated state I am sure that the condom was definitely NOT in shreds when I pulled out therefore I will assume based on what you have told me that it was intact and successfully protected me from HIV infection.
I will not bother going for an HIV test based on this incident.
It's crazy that I have to put myself through this second guessing everytime I have a sexual encounter and for me the fear of contracting HIV ruins each and every encounter I have due to worrying about it even though I am using protection.
Anyway that's an issue for me to deal with I guess.
I appreciate your advice.

Regards

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #23 on: May 19, 2013, 06:37:03 am »
Hi Jeff

I just wanted to ask a quick question.
If I am having a sexual encounter with someone and I engage in receiving protected oral and then proceed to have protected vaginal intercourse should I be changing to another condom after oral sex has been performed on me before I engage in vaginal intercourse?
The reason I ask is that it wasn't until my latest encounter that I realised that the lubrication on the condom can be compromised when receiving oral sex therefore if you proceed to vaginal intercourse using the same condom you may have an increased risk of condom failure?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #24 on: May 19, 2013, 09:20:48 am »
The condom should be fine and saliva isn't infectious . If your using the same the same condom you could use a water based lube approved for condoms . Check out the condom and lube link on the bottom of my reply here .

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections , so its your choice if you want to use condoms for blowjobs .
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Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #25 on: July 14, 2013, 08:13:33 am »
I had an encounter with a sex worker in London last night and I just wanted some reassurance that I have nothing to worry about.

I am a 36 year old heterosexual male and my encounter was with a female CSW.

The encounter started with her giving me a body to body massage using various oils etc.

She then proceeded to give me a blowjob which was unprotected however I understand from reading various information on this site that unprotected blowjobs do not present a risk of aquiring HIV.

After about 5 minutes of receiving a blowjob she put a condom on my penis and we engaged in penetrative vaginal intercourse for approximately 10 minutes.

She then asked me if I would like to ejaculate into her mouth to which I said 'yes'.

So just before I was about to ejaculate I pulled out of her vagina and quickly removed the condom from my penis and masturbated for a few seconds before ejaculating into her mouth.

I then proceeded to take a shower at her place and ensured that my penis was properly washed using shower gel that was left in the shower unit.

The aspect of this encounter that slightly concerns me is that when I pulled out of her vagina I touched the condom with both of my hands in order to remove it (including touching the tip end of the condom which may be exposed to infectious cervical fluid) and then proceeded to masturbate using the same hands/fingers that I touched the condom with before I eventually ejaculated into her mouth.

Assuming I had infected fluid on my hands and fingers from touching the outside of the condom when removing it and then proceeded to touch my penis straight after (no real time delay)while masturbating, could I have been at risk if infected fluid from my hands and fingers touched my urethra or mucous membranes on the head of my penis?

I am not circumcised so I'm worried I have inadvertently put myself at risk.

Do I have anything to worry about here? Do I need to take an HIV test?

Offline Ann

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #26 on: July 14, 2013, 08:30:54 am »
modena,

Once again you are worrying needlessly. It doesn't matter if your hands ended up dripping in vaginal fluids - hiv cannot infect once it's outside the body.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, touching vaginal fluids on the outside of the condom and then touching your penis is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. If touching a used condom was a risk, these studies would have shown that. They didn't.

I suggest you re-read your entire thread as many times as it takes for you to understand that all you need to do to prevent hiv infection is to use condoms. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #27 on: August 20, 2013, 09:59:49 am »
Hello,

I am a 37 year old male and I think I am safe from the incident that I am about to describe however I would be grateful if someone can please confirm that I have nothing to worry about.

I had an encounter with a female sex worker in London yesterday and I wore a condom while both receiving a blowjob and during vaginal intercourse.

After ejaculating into the condom I pulled out of her vagina and inspected the condom to ensure it was intact. As far as I can tell it was so there are no problems there.

The only slight concern I have is that before she put a condom on my penis to give me a blowjob she was masturbating herself with her hand/fingers in order to make herself wet.

With this same hand she masturbated my penis in order to make me erect. She must have had vaginal fluids on her hand/fingers which must have come into contact with my unprotected Urethra and mucous membrane under my foreskin (I am uncircumsized).

Am I correct in thinking that this would not be a risk because there would have been no viable HIV particles present in this situation due to being outside of the body and also no involvement of cervical fluid which while being infectious cannot be reached by hand/fingers.... only an erect penis?

I assume I don't need to test over this?

Can I simply move on and forget about it?

Regards


Offline Jeff G

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #28 on: August 20, 2013, 10:38:28 am »
Please reread Ann's advise again . She has answered your questions already , we all have .

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

I'm issuing a warning and you will be given a 4 week time out if you come back with the same questions again .   
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline modena

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #29 on: August 20, 2013, 11:14:08 am »
Jeff,

I think a warning is rather harsh in this instance. I have learnt a great deal about HIV transmission risks from this forum due to the excellent advise and information all the moderators (including yourself) provide on here.

I even stated that based on the knowledge I have aquired from you guys I didn't think I was at risk from the incident I described which is illustrated by the fact that I provided reasons why I didn't think there was a problem.

I was simply after a little re-assurance and I've never posted excessively with regards to a specific encounter which you can see based on my entire thread.

Anyway I apologise if you feel that I was wasting your time.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Some Clarification Please
« Reply #30 on: August 20, 2013, 12:17:16 pm »
It seems you have an HIV phobia that we cant help you with . We have provided the facts and you have been told repeatedly that HIV poses no risk outside of the human body .

You asked the same question in July and Ann thoroughly answered your question then . We are here to do risk assessment and cant reassure you if you ignore whats already been provided . Feel free to read the forum and educate your self but we will not answer the same no risk questions over and over . We have given time outs to others for less than what you have done so we have been more than fair .

Please see a therapist or councilor for your HIV phobia , we cant address that .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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