Concerned for girlfriend

[virtus]

I tried to have unsafe anal in October with a random girl. Couldn't penetrate, though I tried hard. Was this a risk?

Also, my new gf recently went down on me and swallowed a little bit. Is this a risk?

[Ann]

virtus,

Anal/penile contact is not a risk when penetration has not taken place.

Oral sex is not a risk. The only time where it might be a risk is when the person giving the blowjob has absolutely terrible oral health and the person they are sucking has an extremely high viral load.

I hope you and your girlfriend are using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, unless you're in a securely monogamous relationship where you have  BOTH been tested TOGETHER for hiv and all the other STIs as well.

It's not just a "random girl" (surely you mean "woman"?) or sex workers who may be hiv positive. You can't know a person's hiv status by how they look, what they do for a living, or what they tell you about their sexual history. You need to assume ANYONE you have sex with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly by using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse.

It never cease to amaze me that people go around having unprotected intercourse with people they date without knowing for sure what that person's hiv status is, but only freak out when they have a one-night-stand or have contact with a sex worker. Hiv doesn't discriminate and neither should you.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER ANY OF THE CONCERNS YOU BRING HERE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[virtus]

I'm concerned: last night my gf gave me a handjob...after I came, she rubbed her vagina with my semen on her hands/fingers. When  started to go down her, i noticed my semen (what looked like it) on her inner labia, and maybe a little bit at the opening of the vagina.) I don't know my status; tested neg in mid October, but I had one sexual encounter that involved an attempt at anal (I was too soft to penetrate, essentially just pressed the head of my penis against her anus).

I'm going to go get a rapid test tomorrow, because if test poz i want her to be in the PEP window. Am I worrying for no reason? Is this a negligible risk activity?

[Andy Velez]

Your threads are now merged here. In the future please follow our rule and keep all entries in this same thread.

As Ann told you, you did not have a risk for HIV in your initial thread incident. So you are worrying unnecessarily about this most recent event.

There is no need for concern nor for testing about HIV. Get on with your life and stop making problems where you don't have one.