POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: gottahavefayth on April 07, 2013, 11:43:17 am
-
OK so I was in hospital for 2 weeks very sick that's when I was diagnosed it took some time but I'm now on meds. My girl friend is right here with me does all she can for me. The question I have is we have unprotected sex still we never used a condom ever.. we want a baby how is she still neg. Can she be 1 if the very few that is immune or maybe I don't have it or I ant passit to others she has been tested every month since Jan I don't want to ask my doc I will sound like I just don't care about her. I did cheat on her a lot but I do love her n now I see it. Please help me understand. She even gotme on the Ryan white program n goes to all my do appts
-
Hi Gotta, welcome to the forums.
It could be (probably is) sheer luck that your girlfriend is still hiv negative if you were having unprotected intercourse before your diagnosis, while you were poz and didn't know it.
Not every "exposure" will result in the person becoming infected. It can be a difficult virus to transmit. Sometimes a person will become poz after having unprotected sex one time. Sometimes a person can do it many times before becoming poz. There's no way to predict which time the conditions will be right for transmission. It's the luck of the draw.
If you've been having unprotected intercourse after your diagnosis, but before your viral load became undetectable, then she will need to test out to three months for a conclusive result regarding her negative hiv status. The three month window is counted from the last time you had sex without a condom.
If you have an undetectable viral load, you're unlikely to transmit your virus if certain conditions are true, such as...
Being med compliant - taking your meds when you should every day.
Not having other sexually transmitted infections.
Having an undetectable viral load for at least six months.
Poz/neg couples have conceived and had negative babies. This works best in the context of a stable relationship.
Sometimes the negative partner takes PrEP while they're trying to conceive, for "double insurance" against infection.
-
Also in terms of "the lucky few who are immune" its not that some people cannot contract HIV but that the virus doesnt effect them in the same way. so some people can go years with the virus without ever getting really sick, but this doesnt mean that they don't have it. anyone can become positive.
-
Gotta,
Wanted to welcome you to the forums. I am glad to hear you're doing better. I've heard many stories of poz/neg couples having children. I do not know any personally, but I would say I have read 25 stories over the last four years, where a poz/neg couple conceived. Those are just the ones I happened to read. I am sure there have to be thousands more out there.
I wish you both the best, and hope you can have the family you want.
Ted
-
Thank you all for ur response and for u not looking at us like we r crazy. I don't want to hurt her in any way any more then I already have I feel like maybe just maybe there is a mistake in my blood work. I still can't understand how after 6 months she is negative. Lease don't get me wrong I am happy she is OK but it just seems ood to me n who knows how long I have really been pozfor. Is there really no one else out there that is not a lil thrown off by this. I mean we even had unprotectedse before my meds started before n after I found out I was poz with aids yes they consideredme to have aids because of me cd4 and over a million vl. Jan she was beg I waspoz Feb same thing march same thing will test again soon for April but in Nov we started having sex again n I did have sex with anyone but her since then.... please help me understanding no its a great thing that she is OK n I understand that HIV is very hard to pass but we have sex very often n well I'm so confused .....
-
I know I sound crazy but please I'm really not. I'm just confused happy for her sad for me mad at my mistakes n wondering what is really going on
-
it doesnt seem like a mistake was made. it seems like if you have had multiple vl and cd4 tests you are definitely hiv positive. doctors do not give AIDS diagnoses out lightly. i'm sure you wish there was some kind of mistake, i did too after i found out, but after multiple doctors visits and blood tests you should try to accept your status. be thankful that your girlfriend is negative, stop engaging in risky activities like unsafe sex and start moving forward with your life. if you are serious about having a child with her there are several great options for you two. talk to your doctor, do some research. thinking that her negative status means that there was some kind of mistake made about your own status just seems delusional. you are lucky enough to have found a partner who wills tand by you regardless of your own status so consider yourself blessed that you somehow managed to not pass it on to her and try to accept your situation for what it is and move on with your life.
-
From all I've read, HIV is actually harder to transmit than many think. Everything has to be just right. Well, just wrong. And, infection via the vagina is much harder than the anus. I've read numerous stories, where a wife remained negative, after years of unprotected sex. Of course, there are way too many stories where they were infected.
It is great news your wife wasn't infected. Obviously, things didn't come together just right for infection to occur. Your western blot test is definitive that you have HIV. Did your doc discuss the western blot with you? Your wife not being poz does not mean you must really be negative.
-
Hi gotta,
My situation is very similar to yours, that is, that I am HIV positive and my wife is not. Before I knew I had the virus, my wife and I practiced unsafe sex and yet still my wife still tested negative.
Perhaps it was a matter of luck and from the day I knew I was positive, we have only practiced SAFE sex ... and that is what I suggest that you do in order for your girlfriend to remain negative.
With regards to your gf having a baby, I can assure you that this is possible. As Ann stated, the positive partner has to be on meds, with an undetectable virus for 6 months and without and STIs'. Therefore once you viral load is under control, you can discuss matters with you ID doctor. Perhaps the link provided below can help you understand things even more.
http://www.aidsmap.com/page/1429357/ (http://www.aidsmap.com/page/1429357/)
Hopefully my next viral load will be undetectable as my previous one. That means my wife and I can try to have a baby naturally :) and I'm sure your gf will as well!
Wish us luck!
-
Gf tested again today.... neg!!!!" Thank god. The doc wants to see if there are any testing going on for ppl that stay neg.... they r all as shocked as we r about her staying neg... I had such a high vl above 20 million and she is neg...... I'm glad I'm not the only one that's baffaled by this.. still we r all so happy. They wonder if there are ppl that can really help with maybe a cure or maybr just to help with a vaccineo to slow it down... idk. Just wanted to let u all know that and now I don't feel crazy well not as much. Lol.
-
Hi Gotta ,
Hoping you are feeling more comfortable today with another
NEG result for your Girl Friend .
I am POZ my HUSBAND is NEGATIVE :)
We have been together over 30 years now , The first 20 years we had unprotected sex , ya know like Bunnies ::)
I have been on MEDS 9 years now , so far so good .
Occasionally we do it bareback , Not my idea :-X
But I will have to assume He will never be HIV POZ ! It's not in the works
for him . Some people never catch HIV or any other things either ?
I was not so lucky , But after all these years I feel and look good for
almost being 60 years old :'( ...... LOL's , sort of !
Nice to meet you ,
Weasel