Newly diagnosed

[ridingon]

Hi all,

I'm 25, and its been 2 weeks since my diagnosis, the day after Christmas 2018, and 1 week in on Triumeq. My heart is still heavy, but I think I'm getting better and better each day.

I do not know where or when I couldve been infected, seeing I make sure all my seual encounters are with condoms. So the day I got the call to come back for a confirmation test, I was in shock and texted my boyfriend immediately. Fortunately his test came back negative. However, my WB came back Poz. We are still together, and hopefully we will stay together.

For the first week, I've been down and sad, I lost all appetite and energy, and I couldn't sleep. I still managed to go to work but was on autopilot mode most of the time. I mean I accepted it, but just thinking about how it will affect my life, my job in the future in the medical field, is overwhelming. And life just seemed... boring and aimless now.

As for the second week, I've been on Triumeq, and I can feel myself feeling better and better. I still have trouble falling asleep, but I'm smiling more and eating more. Just knowing that I am on medication and that it will eventually be undetectable and untransmittable makes me feel like I'm taking back the control of my life bit by bit.

However, even though I know it shouldnt change anything in my life, and that I should be able to achieve and be anything I want, I have already needed to make changes for my life and career plans. I've always been the kind of person whos had my life goals set and planned out, and now that its all shattered it scares me not knowing what is in front of me.

I havent told anyone in my life, apart from my boyfriend. I guess I'm just not ready yet, and I dont know if I ever will be able to break the news to my family and friends. I'm hoping to keep the genie in the bottle for as long as i can, but I know how secrets can poison lives. So I thought this would be a great first step towards self-healing, and have someone to talk to, even though its anonymous.

Thank you for reading and being my outlet of frustration, I really needed it.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya

Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear about the dignoisis.

Glad to hear you have support from your partner and that you are already on treatment. I know the news can be a lot to digest at first but give yourself time to get your head arround it.

I havent told anyone in my life, apart from my boyfriend. I guess I'm just not ready yet, and I dont know if I ever will be able to break the news to my family and friends. I'm hoping to keep the genie in the bottle for as long as i can, but I know how secrets can poison lives. So I thought this would be a great first step towards self-healing, and have someone to talk to, even though its anonymous

.

It's not really a secret is it? I mean it's simply a private medical condition. Now billions of people have one or multiple manageable conditions that they don't wave arround or announce to everyone, nothing wrong with it.

Sooner or later you will no longer even think about HIV, just pop a pill a day and live your life.

Take it easy

Jim

[TexasDragon]

Ridingon -

Sometimes you have to keep moving forward - and that’s all you can do.

The journey does get smoother.

You are not alone.

[ridingon]

Thanks to Jim and Dragon, for your warm and reassuring words.

Yes my partner has been very supportive, and has been acting exactly the same. So things are good on the relationship front.

This all happened so quickly, so I'm still learning how to live with it. But I'm slowly getting there and at least I'm not getting panic attacks at night anymore, so hooray for me!

[happy74]

Ridingon
Take it easy, I am also on Triumeq 3 months already, I feel this pill is great and the side effect not that strong. Insomnia will no longer affect you after the first month of medication. I take it at night time as less interfere with my daily routine.
May I know your CD4 and Viral load?

Best regards

[ridingon]

Ridingon
Take it easy, I am also on Triumeq 3 months already, I feel this pill is great and the side effect not that strong. Insomnia will no longer affect you after the first month of medication. I take it at night time as less interfere with my daily routine.
May I know your CD4 and Viral load?

Best regards

Hi happy74,

Yes, I chose to take Triumeq in the morning because I thought the insomnia would make me awake in the daytime, but it doesnt work like that apparently, I'm so tired for about the first 10 days, and feel like I napped a little too much during the day. I do feel better and better everyday, even though I'm still having these crazy vivid dreams, whereas I used to not dream at all. Not sure if its from the pill or psychological reasons though.

Another reason is that I feel like the morning is the most private time I have in a day and I'll always have a pill with me, and that I dont need to worry if I'm out late unplanned without a pill. Also I want to feel blessed when I first wake up in the morning, take the pill to start my day, and have it work its magic inside me during the day as I work. If that makes any sense. 

I don't have my numbers yet, I'm going in to get my report tomorrow, and get my blood drawn again after the first 2 weeks of treatment and see if the meds are working. Hopefully I'd be starting off with high CD4 and low VL. *fingers crossed

[ridingon]

VL:34,388
CD4: 524

Not too bad to start with I'd say.

[Mightysure]

Hey Ridingon

Im so sorry that you got the diagnosis and around such a stressful time of the year for many. But I am glad that you caught it, you're on treatment and you have a support system in your boyfriend.

I personally don't think you need to tell anyone except your sexual partners. Since your boyfriend knows, you all can take precautions until you are UD for 6 months.

I never understood the whole HIV closet anyway. How many people deal with revealing any other illness they may have. Only certain medical providers and sexual partners need to know.

You have so much to work through, I say don't even worry about that. This is your journey and don't let anyone tell you how to take it.

EDIT: your numbers are good starting out. Your CD4 is in the  normal healthy range and your VL isn't too high. Trust me, there are people who start out in a much worse predicament as far as immune health and they are still here, sharing their journies with us.

[Jim Allen]

VL:34,388
CD4: 524

Not too bad to start with I'd say.

Not bad at all and I think plenty of members would have given their right arm for such CD4 levels to start with. 

How are you getting on?

Jim

[ridingon]

Hey guys

So my numbers after 1 month on Triumeq came back and it was surprisingly VL undetectable.  Me and my ID doctor were both surprised to see such drastic results after only one month, and am scheduled to come back one month later for another VL blood test before I can cut down to a seasonal visit.

As for myself, things have been great. Work and social events have been keeping me busy and tired, so sleep was great, and my mind is actually at a peaceful state. All in all, life has gone back to normal.

Thank yall for all your kind words and concerns, they really helped me a lot through those first couple rough weeks.

[Jim Allen]

Excellent update, really glad to hear life is going back to normal and things are going well 

[TexasDragon]

Normal is just fine!