worries...just won't go away

[yvessaintlaurent]

Hi all,

this is my first time posting here but i had already been noticing this forum for a while, trying to look for answers to my questions. though i did manage to get quite a sure answer, but still, my worries just won't disappear. i was not convinced and i stupidly chose to be pessimistic. i'm so afraid that i might just be so unlucky.

well, here's my situation. just a few months ago, or to be exact in early August, i had gay oral sex with a friend of mine, whom i am unsure if he was infected or not. i gave head to him and so did he. he didn't ejaculate in my mouth, but i'm not sure about the precum. There could be traces of it, but the amount is quite little. but what worries me the most was that i had a small wound on my lower lip inside my mouth, which i got a few hours before sex. well if i had remember getting a wound before sex i would have probably rejected giving head, but i totally forgot about it. i got the wound by accidentally biting on my lips when eating, and i'm not sure if it was healed already by the time i gave head. then a month later, i got a mild fever, sore throat, cold and really tired, though these symptoms were not persistent and only lasted for one or two days.

i have read a lot and i knew oral sex is more of a theoretical than an actual risk in getting infected with HIV. i knew saliva contains proteins that can inhibit the activity of the virus, making it unsuitable for it even to survive. but my worry is, would this wound on my lips actually increase my risk of getting infected? does it become a case where there is direct contact and exchange of fluids? will the saliva on my wound still be effective in inhibiting the virus and in acting as a barrier between the fluids?

i am really desperate for an answer. this has been bothering me for months.

thanks for all your help.

[Andy Velez]

You actually know the important details about the theoretical risk for HIV in relation to oral sex. But your mind continues to bother you with what if scenarios. No, I don't see your sore lip as a risk for transmission.

But you know what, you've had this nagging at you for too long. My suggestion is that you get tested, collect the inevitable negative result and then move on with your life. And yes, I am confident you will test negative.

Cheers.

[yvessaintlaurent]

Thanks Andy, that's what I have always been waiting for - someone to smack me with a 'no' and get me out from all the nagging. I know what I should do now. Thanks a lot.

[Andy Velez]

You're welcome. Remove that obstacle to getting on with your life...

[yvessaintlaurent]

sorry for bringing back this topic to life again.

but another question came across my mind just now. now what if the wound on the lip was an open and gaping one? would the risk then be increased?

well i have this query solely because i want to know the difference between the two situations. thanks.

[Andy Velez]

You maybe attempting to "bring this topic back to life again," but we aren't.

The key term in your latest is "what if." We don't like to deal with what ifs here. You've described the circumstances of your having given head to the guy. Your own saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which are very effective in preventing the transmission of viable HIV.

I've already told you what to do. Since you don't seem to be in any danger of letting go of this unwarranted concern, get tested at 13 weeks, collect what I fully expect will be a negative result and then move on with your life.