IS IT POSSIBLE

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

i recently had an encounter with an older women i have never had sex  with a woman until this encounter and i am a little freaked out on how i came about to meet this person.i met her on craigslist under"casual encounters"we had protected sex but i have never put on a condom before, i believe i did it right ,i mean it doesnt take a rocket scientist but im still worried on if i used it correctly because it kept sliding around.and after i took it off my penis didnt feel dry, but it was a spermicide condom.i guess im just really  concerned on the chances of getting a std like hiv from this encounter she also gave me oral unprotected.i feel guily and ashamed..please help

[Eldon]

Yes, I AM Supporting You

Hey Dennisthemenace...

There is no need to have these feelings of guilt inside of you. If you wore the condom properly and it did not break nor slip off, then you had protected sex as there should be no real concern with this.



Enjoy your Holiday Season and Thank you for sharing.

"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

thanks for your reply

[Eldon]

Yes, I AM Supporting You

Hey Dennisthemenace...

You are welcome.



Enjoy your Holiday Season and Thank you for sharing.

"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

[Ann]

Dennis,

Condoms, when used correctly and consistently, have been proven to prevent hiv infection. Have a read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them with confidence.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever. 

While you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

yea,thank you ann your advice is much appreciated,i really think the internet is a scary place to look for answers i find so many diffrent opinions i dont know if there fact are not,why do they say condoms are not always affective,i heard that there 80% safe is this true

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

i cant find your signature line about condoms,where should i look

[RapidRod]

How about right at the bottom of her post to you.

[thunter34]

The part that says "CONDOM INFO"

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

oh ok im not slow i promise

[RapidRod]

But he didn't say he wasn't a blonde.

[Ann]

Dennis,

The people who post things like that about condoms on the internet usually have an agenda. They don't want you to have sexual relations outside a traditional, heterosexual marriage and they'll tell you anything to stop you having a sex life. These are people who believe the discredited Abstinence Only program of sex-(non)education is the way to stop the spread of hiv. We won't force-feed you religious dogma here, we will only give you scientific facts.

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

Ann!you are an awesome lady,you are a true healer even over the internet,and i really admire what you do for people,as i have read through the forumns,i believe i have a phobia with this matter because i am being overwhelmed with anxiety and fear and i think its really irrational,can you refer me someone to talk to out here for no charge ,im a student, in salt lake city,ut.  thank you for your voice of reason

[Ann]

Dennis,

If you are a university student, there is probably a counselor available on campus. Check your student directory or university website.

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

do condoms protect against vaginal secretion or just the virus,im wondering why my penis wasent dry after i took off the condom.just wondering im new at all this stuff

[Ann]

Dennis,

That is completely normal. I don't think I've ever seen a penis emerge from a condom, after the act, dry. It's either lube from the condom itself or your own cum or pre-cum. It certainly is NOT vaginal fluid, not on the inside. Make sure you read through those condom and lube links in my signature line. I hope you've found them now?

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

yea i found them,thanks alot for your help,

[Andy Velez]

Dennis, you should also be aware that along with excitement and fun, becoming sexually active can stir up a lot of anxiety for a variety of reasons. So go at the pace you are comfortable with as far as what you do and whom you do it with.

You certainly weren't at risk for HIV during this recent incident. Always use a latex condom for intercourse and you'll be ok as far as HIV is concerned.

Cheers,

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

yea it does,you are very right,i was wondering if a condom breaks do you know it has,can you feel it,or hear it.

[Ann]

Dennis,

When a condom breaks, it is a very noticeable event. You will often hear it described as looking like your penis is suddenly wearing a hula skirt. You will also feel the difference between skin on latex and skin on skin.

Have you read through the condom link yet? A correctly used condom rarely breaks. My partner and I have never, ever had one break.

Ann
 

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

oh yea ive read through it.i guess since it was my first time using one,i meen i have put one on before but never had used one, so i dont have anything to reassure me that condoms do the job,but your info has taught me alot,...merry christmas!!

[Ann]

Dennis,

You might want to buy yourself a few condoms and experiment with them on your own. This way, you'll be more comfortable and familiar with them when you need them for real. You know what they say; practice makes perfect!

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

im sorry but i cant seem to shake this worry, it comes and goes its like i have no control over it.What really helps me is reading articles on seroconverent couples,having protected sex and unprotected sex which i believe i have found 1 do you know of any others i can find over the web.it has been 2 weeks and a day since possible exposure using a condom,i hear that 22 days is the average time do health care officials tell you 3-6 months to be safe,i dont know im crazy

[RapidRod]

I'm sure if you went to a clinic and told them what you have told us, they would refuse to test you. Giving you the reason that you had protected sex.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

im sorry but i have been a worry wart for a while,im thinking about starting a school for it,j/k.and health care officials always stay on the safe side and never refuse to give you a test.they seem too safe sometimes,to prevent prevention.they scare people instead of telling the truth its hard to find real honest answers out there,thats why i love this forum so much,but i appreciate your help,and the ease you give to many worry warts like myself

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

i was also wondering to condoms protect against other stds

[RapidRod]

Most not all. Read the condom link at the bottom of any of Ann's Posts.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

ok i guess ive worn out my welcome here,no one will answer my question

[Adonis]

Hey DennisTheMenace:

I have replied to your private message. Check it out. I can identify with you in so many ways...

;-)

[Ann]

Adonis,

How many warnings do you need? I'm putting you on "read only" status until further notice.

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

i met serodiscordant

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

also why do i always seem to find articles like this everywhere

One of the most frequently asked questions is: What is the effectiveness of condoms in preventing HIV transmission? The simple answer is that they are somewhat effective. Studies show that the probability of HIV transmission when the infected partner's viral load is above 1,500 is between 11 and 20 percent during any twelve-month period, even with the use of a condom. Total compliance to a working HAART program that keeps viral load to undetectable levels would decrease the risk according to the Ugandan study

[411]

Studies show that the probability of HIV transmission when the infected partner's viral load is above 1,500 is between 11 and 20 percent during any twelve-month period, even with the use of a condom.

Those numbers would be more consistent for unprotected insertive vaginal intercourse, not protected as suggested.

Total compliance to a working HAART program that keeps viral load to undetectable levels would decrease the risk according to the Ugandan study

One study remarked that unprotected insertive vaginal intercourse when viral load was consistently below approximately 2,000 resulted in no new infections over a 12 month period.

There are a few points to be made here. People are subject to error, they say they use condoms consistently but may not or they may not use them properly. Researchers manipulate and exclude data to support their own agenda which is often mired in funding issues. Even the best controlled clinical research projects are subject to error or faulty structure.

I tend to support hard evidence and it is indisputable that HIV cannot pass through a latex condom when it is used properly for intercourse. Problem is that many people do not know how to use a condom in it's prescribed manner. If you've read Ann's links and can identify with the contents then you have nothing to worry about except this self inflicted torment.

also why do i always seem to find articles like this everywhere

Why are you reading everywhere or more specifically why drag in "stuff" that you don't know who wrote for what purpose. In this forum you have the opportunity to discuss and learn, in as close to real time as imaginable, from knowledgeable people with a wealth of knowledge, bringing this "stuff" here is your own admission of this as a fact. You're in a search pattern, unconsciously trying to find information that will support your fears and at the same time discounting any information to the contrary.

You will never rationalize these feelings but you can learn to accept the advice you've received which usually tends to become easier if you distance yourself from your constant web surfing. Try giving yourself some personal time instead of consuming all your waking hours visiting this site or that site.

[Ann]

Dennis,

The clue to what is going on with you is in your first post:

i have never had sex  with a woman until this encounter and i am a little freaked out on how i came about to meet this person...

//snip//

i feel guily and ashamed..please help

In a nutshell, you are new to having sexual intercourse and you're beating yourself up because your first time was with someone you met over the internet.

Stop it. Just because you're not happy with how your first time came about doesn't change the fact that condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. I'm not speaking from reading a study that was conducted by strangers in a far away land, I'm talking from personal experience and the experience of my positive friends and acquaintances, PLUS three very large studies of serodiscordant couples.

If you cannot stop obsessing over this incident, please talk to a qualified mental health care professional about it. Sex is normal and natural, not something to freak out about. (regardless of what religious fundamentalists may tell you)

Keep using those condoms for intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

thank you for your reply,I guess i have always been afraid of death.Ive always thought about what if the world ends,what if this lump on my ass is a tumor,when its a zit,its all around us everytime someone dies or gets sick we know about it its shared and the feeling is heart breaking.Im a very spirtual person but the fear of dying takes over me sometimes for a given period of time ,it comes and and goes.If you dont believe in religous fundamentalism what do you beleive in

I hope asking you this question doesnt offend you ,because i meen it only in the best intentions,how do you deal with hiv emotionally and spirtually,how do you feel about death and what happens after we die.

I hope these questions are ok,thank you for letting me vent my problem,your courage is an insperation to me 

[RapidRod]

I've got every day happenings to worry about. I don't worry about death, I don't worry about HIV/AIDS. This is just a disease that lives with me. I don't let HIV run me. I run it. I'm not a religious person. I do believe in God and that's about it.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

hey 411 i just read your reply ,thank you .Your right,but i would say its more of a consience thing im aware that i shouldnt be consuming my time with searching websites and  reading the same thing over and over again on this forum, for some feeling of relief, this anxiety and fear is brutal.I do beleive in this forum and everything you guys have told me,thats why i know i need to talk to someone but its hard to get people to care with out showing them the money.Thank you for your concern and guidance

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

 hey rapid rodWhat about seing the countless people suffering and dying from this Virus this doesnt scare you,

[RapidRod]

I'm sorry to see them die, but it doesn't scare me. I'm just not afraid to dieing.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

it has been 23 days since my last encounter,should i get a test and how relaible would it be in this window period

[RapidRod]

It's not reliable at all, at 23 days.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

but didnt andy say 22 days is the average time to seroconvert

[RapidRod]

Average time to seroconvert 22 is average. That is not saying that you will have produced enough antibodies for testing to pick up. CDC states 3 months or apx. 90 days.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

rod

is there a test  i can take that will give me results faster than 3 months

[RapidRod]

Yes they are some test you can take but they will not be conclusive. As in your case, it's just a waste of money. I can tell you you're negative but you will have to retest at the 3 month mark. Is that what you want to hear? Because that is what any testing facility is going to tell you. You did not have a risk to begin with and I have no understanding as to why you persist in this notion.

[Ann]

Dennis,

Let's not forget you didn't have a risk to begin with. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.

When a person actually has had a risk, a negative at 23 days would be encouraging, but by no means conclusive.

In your NO risk case, you can take your results to mean you are hiv negative.

Ann

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

ok ann thanks,its just i hear everywhere from specialist,docters,nurses that condoms arent 100% effective thats why i get nervous because all of the hype   thanks ann

[RapidRod]

Why aren't they 100% listed as being effective? People don't use them consistently, people don't use the proper lube. People don't put them on correctly, that is the reason they don't say 100%. If you, use the condom consistently, use the correct lube and have applied the condom on correctly, then you have a 100% protection for HIV.

[DENNISTHEMENACE]

thanks rod,what if i didnt use lube,would that still be ok,...im freaking out,and i dont know why i cant stop thinking about it

[RapidRod]

Did the condom fail? Did it look like a hula dress when you took it off? If it didn't it, it didn't fail.