HOW Do You Cope: Depression or sadness around holidays

[den2542]

While we know that there is alot of great support here in the forums, I am curious if our members still find themselves sad, depressed, or melancholy around the holidays or perhaps other times. If so, have you figured out how it is triggered? Is it a combination of things or a sinhle thing. Is it HIV related or not? Last, and this is important, how did you overcome or reduce or even refocus that thought process and was it effective? Perhaps by sharing strategies to cope I or even someone else might learn.

[kentfrat1783]

Hi,

I’m not the best one with an answer but I’m also wondering what others do. The 13 months prior to my Dx was bad enough let alone the past 6 months since my Dx.

I know things will get better emotionally but won’t be the same.

But I do hope you are doing decent and I’m here if you need to talk. Sometimes that helps me. Just talking.

Kenneth

[zach]

Beer and cannabis. Probably not the healthiest emotional crutch.

Stay buzzed enough nothing weighs on me.

But I wake up at 5am, painfully lonely, shaking off last nights substances. Loneliness is something that has been deeply bothering me lately.

I come here to ramble and vent, and saw your post.

[skeebo1969]

  Depression and anger/bitterness seem to mingle together in me.  The troubling part for me is that I tend to hide it from everyone around me, being in therapy/counseling a lot in my younger years--hiding it was something I use to never do.

  Tough topic.  I hope others chime in on what's been successful for them.

   Thomas

[mecch]

Fresh air daily and movement. Daylight on the face.

See people.  Call mom.  etc.

Just remember that for me, usually the worst will pass in an hour or a day, often enough and anyway there is work, commute.

Sometimes take a benzo.

Sometimes drink some bubbly wine.

Masturbate. See a sex buddy.

Massage.

I would get a dog about the loneliness but I am away from the house too long everyday and even when home, find it difficult to keep to a schedule, which apartment dogs need.  Not like I could let him out in the yard, etc.

[Wade]

Accept change...

Nothing stays the same and you have to learn to embrace the new places and people that will come into your life. You will always have memories of past times and of the ones who are no longer with us, but don't shut out the new.

I'm 62 and still making new friends and memories, mixing the old with the new.
I have many fond old memories and they are the building blocks for the new ones that lay ahead. I don't allow time for the blues.

Wade

[den2542]

Thank you for all your great comments. I have my good moments and bad moments. When I am around my kids I feel needed and so I feel better. It's during time that I am alone that my mind wanders and bad thoughts enter like what if my meds combo fail, what if I get cancer, what if ... and the list goes on. By the time I get done in my mind the worse has already happened even though it didn't but the sadness is there. I can't begin to tell you how happy I felt when Moderator Jim wrote that U=U and seeing his post in writing cheered me up. I mean that's where having a great close friend to verbally talk to would have helped long ago. So I really depend on y'all more than you know.
Wade: I was married for 18 years and now divorced at my choice so I'm just learning how to reach out.
Mecch.. one can only pound your pud so much b4 it gets sore
Skeebo exactly what you say is how I feel
Zach.... one day b4 I die I'll do the weed but can't right now... my job won't let me but gotta do that one time
Kenneth. I think I'm over the HIV thing as far a depression but I'm still angry that my spouse didn't want to be with me bc I was poz. That hurts. Still.
Dennis

[Gladragsguy]

I know it's a bit late but one of the best ways to get into a better holiday mood is to put up some decorations, drag down that box of holiday stuff and sprinkle it around. Don't have any? Get a bit of garland or a little tree and put it out. Better yet go online and pick out a holiday decorating project and complete it...a project always takes your mind off the blues. Finally get out and be with others because there are plenty of places to be...surely you had some invitations-if not seek out others-church, support groups, or clubs all have holiday events so make sure to get out and be social. Happy Holidays!

[joemutt]

help others

[blackbeauty40]

I'd like to know how people deal with it also. My kids are grown, my family pretty much disowned me when I told them I was positive. I don't have any friends because they did as my family did when they discovered my status. I ended up getting into destructive relationships so I wouldn't have to be alone during the holidays. Holidays and birthdays are the worst for me.