Pre Lab nerves...how do you deal with it?

[Cojo]

Hey folks,

Given the fact that I will be doing a 3 or 6 month lab cycle for the rest of my days, I want to be able to deal with the pre lab anxiety crush I get each time I go through the process of the blood draw and the follow up appointment 2 weeks later. All the classic anxiety symptoms start and as the day of my doctor visit approaches I can't sleep, eat, irritable etc. It is rooted in a fear that the meds are not working, have stopped working or body damage is being done (liver, kidney et al.) So my question to folks is how / what do you do to keep an even keel around lab and results time? I can't have two weeks of every third or sixth month be this harsh forever...

[jkinatl2]

Well, aside from medication/meditation and the like, all I can say is that the more you do it, the more routine it will become.

Time.

[newt]

Do less labs = less anxiety. If you take your meds, and have access to a general practitioner, little will be missed,and prob nothing to miss will happen. If your adherence is good why should the meds stop working?

- matt

[LongTimeSurvivor]

Have your doctor prescribe Lidocaine and Prilocaine cream, 2.5%/2.5% and make sure it's the cream not the lotion type stuff.

Put it on your arm where the needle will go in (cover about 4x5 inches) about an hour ahead of time. That will deaden the skin enough that you will not feel the needle. It is the only way they get blood out of me. Strange considering I can give myself shots in my butt and stomach with no problem.

You'll need to cover the cream while it does its work. I use a pressure thingy for workouts. It's elastic cloth, fits over you arm (since it's made to go around your elbow anyway) and I think it only costs around $10 and is reusable.

As to nerves while waiting on the test results...I can't do anything for you there. I don't usually get nervous about them. They are what they are. But that's just me. Maybe try a few shots of bourbon each day...

...jus' kiddin'...

[MarkB]

Hi Cojo.

You wrote:

All the classic anxiety symptoms start and as the day of my doctor visit approaches I can't sleep, eat, irritable etc. It is rooted in a fear that the meds are not working, have stopped working or body damage is being done (liver, kidney et al.)

Most if not all of us can identify with those fears. But as Newt (who knows his stuff better than most) has already said, "if your adherence is good why should the meds stop working?" These meds work: they really do. When I began my regime I didn't believe that; I thought that I would be the exception, and that they would somehow inevitably fail. To prove the point, my current doctor, who is a sweetie, had her own CD4 count measured. Hers was 600; my most recent, 934 with a 47% (it rose from a low-base of 230). So if I'm not doing any better than my HIV- doctor, I'm certainly not doing any worse; and there is every reason to expect that you will do well too.

It may sound trite and unsympathetic, but for you it is still early days. As the results come in you will, I hope, come to realise both that you are not unwell, and that there is no reason to fear that you will become so. It would be insensitive of me to say that your anxieties will inevitably pass, but I am confident that in time you will not be ruled by them. There is no reason to suspect that you will live anything but a normal, fulfilling life. And as I told you when you first came here, you are not alone. Never think or fear that you are.

[Cojo]

Thanks for the comments folks, and Mark you don't sound unsympathetic or trite, just right on! I like how you point out how you thought you may be the one exception etc and that's where I always go. Not to get TMI (although this forum seems the place for raw honesty), part of my obsession about being the strange exception is around how I got HIV in the first place. I never have bottomed and only topped and a condom was part of the picture. In all I have been told, my infection was a long shot and that is the conext in which I worry.
It has been interesting when chatting with poz guys in hook up sites. Most (if not all) want to have sex without a condom and seem very comfortable with it. Oddly, I wish I was in that mindset - it seems so freeing for them to just enjoy raw sex, but again, my anxiety around reinfection etc keeps me far from that. Am I missing the boat?  (talk about a multi thought thread lol)

[spacebarsux]

I can relate to a lot of what you say - prelab anxiety and the rest of it.

A member on these boards had used the word 'creative denial' as a way of coping with living with HIV. I take that to mean deny all the crappy stuff about it (to the extent possible) and carry on living like before. It does work (to some extent).

Best.

[leatherman]

my anxiety around reinfection etc keeps me far from that. Am I missing the boat?

reinfection is known to have only occurred in people who are not on treatment, or have gone off treatment, with a detectable viral load - otherwise reinfection/super-infection is a myth health care givers talk about with no proof.

Think of it this is, if PEP and PrEP (post and pre-exposure prophylaxis) work to stop HIV, wouldn't a pozzie's successful treatment (Undetectable) for HIV be the same thing? yeppers. And if reinfection was happening, with all the pozzies bare-backing out there, wouldn't we see a huge rise in people getting sick again? yeppers, and that is NOT happening. so yes, many pozzies who are successfully in treatment do not use condoms.

However, it is worth noting, that without a condom, you can be exposed to all the other STDs out there.

[Cojo]

Thanks Leatherman for the clarifications. Not to beat it to death, but I really need to get this.
As I understand it, I am on Truvada and Isentress and the only type of virus that could reinfect would be one with resistance to either T or I. In other words, the other guy would need to be detectable AND with a strain resistant to either T or I or both.
While I'm at it.....
If one is on a cocktail and resistance occurs leading to treatment failure, are all three of the current drugs now ineffective or could it just be one of the three. So much to learn!

[weasel]

  Hey   CoJo  ,
                         My I.D. Doctor appoinment is coming up !

       Rather over due by weeks ....................

        I ASSUME  my pills are working , I do worry sometimes but as a rule

        HIV does not rule my life . 

        I have horrid issues almost daily .   numbness & Mental issues are getting
   
          worse 

        My HIV doctor is rather self absorbed ,She is a Professor and knows all !

        I would never have unprotected sex with an unknown partner ! 
 
      Even a 1 in a million chance is too much !

       People do get reinfected with other strains !   If thier strain is resistant so

       will you be !   Why would anyone play that game  !

                                                            Weasel 

  P.S.  I wish something would stop me from eating 
          I am going to get a " GOOD YEAR " banner for myself ........

[littleprince]

For me it is just getting easier with time. I guess it's just about learning to trust the little pills you take daily. Although I'm not sure if I will ever be completely at ease about labs.

I'll share a little story to show you that you're not the only one who worries. I've been at this for 1.5 years so though it was becoming routine. Before my last labs I somehow managed to plant the idea in my mind that my meds failed and my CD4 count was crashing again. It made no sense and there was no reason why this would be the case but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time I coughed I was worried I had PCP again. I ended up getting my labs done a month early just so I could get it out of my head.

[Torchwood]

Quite simply, I use Xanax.

[PozJeepGuy]

Thanks for starting this thread. I have learned so much. The only thing I can honestly add is medical marijuana. It helps a lot. Not saying to stay stoned all the time, But at the end of a long day, go home take a few puffs and it helps with anxiety, nausea, and body aches. If you can where you live, you might want to ask your doctor about it. 

[Torchwood]

Thanks for starting this thread. I have learned so much. The only thing I can honestly add is medical marijuana. It helps a lot. Not saying to stay stoned all the time, But at the end of a long day, go home take a few puffs and it helps with anxiety, nausea, and body aches. If you can where you live, you might want to ask your doctor about it.

Wish I could get it legally in the state I live in. I can get it legally in another state. I could probably get off the Xanax then.

[PozJeepGuy]

It's still the oddest thing.  Going into a normal store, you walk threw to another room and it's like a jewelry store.  Glass cases just lined with green. All type of edibles for those that don't smoke. But it does help when used correctly.