POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: Haven07 on February 23, 2007, 11:33:51 pm
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I haven't had it in me to post, but I'm finally giving in to share the few words that zip thru my mind as I type. I recently was diagnosed in August and well it sucks. >:( But at the end of the day I know that I'm still the same person before this all came to be. I have great friends that support me and resources to use if needed. But still there's this sadness that lingers around my heart and a fear that clouds my mind, and though I supress them, they always come back to say Hi. It's hard living a double life, and even harder feeling like you can't find anyone else to love because of your status (which I know it isn't really the case, but who really thinks rationally in moments of despair) There are those that remain hidden, those who are destructive and worse; those who don't even know. Here I am, as soulful and poetic as I can be.
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I was also diagnosed in August. The mental baggage associated with this virus is a heavy burden to bear. My wife is the only one that knows other than the necessary health professionals and we plan to keep it that way. I've kept on at work and actually worked harder than every before because I'm a bit more focused now and happy to be able to work. There is surely someone out there who loves you and yes you are still the same person. Living a double life is the choice you have obviously made just be sure that you remind yourself that you are the same person and that you are not alone in this. Its going to be ok, I really feel like that.
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Welcome, Haven,
I'm glad you have found your way to our site. Getting accustomed to having HIV as in intimate part of your life takes time. Note that I say "a part of your life."
Just as you have noted, you're still the person you were and who you are is about much more than the virus, even if it doesn't always feel that way right now.
Coming to this site is a good way of reaching out to the world and reducing your isolation. That's a good healthy move on your part.
Come here as often as you like and get to know people. By asking questions you may have about anything whether medical or other and talking about whatever is on your mind you will find others are going to respond to you much as Esquare has. The better you allow others to know you here the stronger the bond will become.
Again, welcome!