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I feel bored, depressed, unimpressed, horny, and scared at timesÖ



Could it be that I am almost 45. Realizing how much I have to work to earn enough to just live. Yet Iím looking forward to saving enough for guitar lessons.
I used to be excited about just getting up in the day. Now I struggle to find a good reason. I guess homelessness does scare me. Then again I dislike my job most days.
I work as a cashier. Iím also a more serious person. Like let me just do my job, get paid, and go home.
Iím polite. For example I donít correct people, although I hear things. I ignore and donít mention anything to anyone. A reason I like to be alone.
I just want to be middle class. At least. Itís tough because Iím not sure how to get along with people. I like to be alone at times. I eat lunch in my car at work. I need the calm and quiet.
When I was hired I had no idea Iíd be working with people on parole. I learned what PO means.
Again, a reason to be alone.
I wish I could find a good job that fits my personality and need for calm.


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