POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: AlanBama on July 24, 2006, 02:49:51 pm
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Someone emailed this to me today; I thought it was pretty cute!
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Some of us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand: See the list below...
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In de aling with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's no t going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not. You think you know it all.
POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life , you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much softer than y ou appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for You.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're n ot concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.
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Damn if I'm not a Boll Weevil!! What's this crap about nobody wanting to marry me???? I no likey this thread! >:(
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And, Doggone it....I'm BIG AND ROUND and THINK I KNOW IT ALL :-\
I'm gonna go sit out on that porch of mine.
So there.
Zephie :-[
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I'm a butter bean, but I LOVE moon pies!
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Im a CHITLIN.
What is a Chitlin? Isnt that like....the guts or somethin?
I want to be a Butter Bean! I love butter beans...had some for supper tonite.
Teresa
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I guess that I'm a Catfish. Yes, I am very much a traditionalist in matters of the heart, and , Big Surprise, I'm also really lax at shaving, and get lots of shit for appearing to be vaguely homeless, especially if I'm carrying my backpack. For the record, I can't stomach MoonPies, and don't do so hot with Crawfish either, there are some very valid reasons he's my ex. Loved the Southern Signs Alan. Capt. Carl...
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i am the possum
and it's damn accurate.... especially...
Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead.
On multiple occasions, over a span of years, I've heard several different rumors of my demise from a tragic car accident to slitting my wrists.
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I'm Mr. Boiled Peanuts. ::)
Jody
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Boiled Peanuts here, too, babe!
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I am a Armadillo.....but I eat a lot of Okra. Catfish, okra, hot water cornbread, and white beans is the perfect meal!!
Brian
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Teresa honey,
A "Chitlin" or chitterling is the intestines of a hog, fried up golden brown. There is no force on this planet strong enough to get me to put one in my mouth.....
(but I do like cornbread with cracklins.....do you know what that is?)
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I'm a Crawfish. It says I ain't cute. WTF!!! ??? >:( ??? >:(
On the up side, it says I give good head. ;D ::)
Oh wait, I HAVE good heads. What the hell does that mean???
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OK, Mr. Catfish here! That's right, I'm here to whip y'all into shape with my whiskers - or a cat-o-nine-tails, whichever is handiest. >:( ;D
I happen to love butter beans. ::)
Of course, there is something to be said about crawfish head - er - heads.
Oooo baby!
HUGS,
Mark
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If i'm Okra does that mean people love me best when I'm fried? :D
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I'm a possum! Dayum~
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Alan,
I love cornbread but have no idea what cracklin is.
Nope, i wouldnt eat chitlins either..ewwww
Still rather be a butterbean.
Hugs
Teresa
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damn.
I'm a butterbean. i want to be armadillo.. please can I swap with someone? :)
Kate
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ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're n ot concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.
This is kind of accurate for me. I do have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but I am actually a softie inside. Old friends talking around a fire sounds like something I would like to do, but you can have the roots, worms and insects. I don't see myself as a throwback because I like to keep up on new technology, world news etc. I am not concerned at all with fashion. As long as I am comfortable & my clothes are clean I'm happy. I don't want to get married, especially to an Armadillo or nasty Possum but if the Donkey that "got it on" with that Iraqi man on YouTube is single I might be interested. LOL
Burf
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Well, it says I am a moon pie, but I don't have any Cheerwine to go with it, so I am skeptical. By the way, I am with you all the way on cracklin's and cornbread.
Ron
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Maybe a little of Boiled Peanuts and Okra mixed up together.............
Fry one and boiled the other.... I'm so confused! ::)
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I'm a Crawfish. It says I ain't cute. WTF!!! ??? >:( ??? >:(
On the up side, it says I give good head. ;D ::)
Oh wait, I HAVE good heads. What the hell does that mean???
Hmm... what's that saying about squeezing the tail and sucking the head... something like that. It always sounded kind of fun, though! ;) I'm a Chitlin, which I'm not sure is such a good thing!
David
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OK...I don't know WHAT I was looking at. Apparently, I don't know when my birthday is. I was rereading, because everyone wants to be a butterbean, to see what is so special about the legume.
After my reread...come to find out, I am not a crawfish. I am Collards. BIG OLD BLOND MOMENT, I guess. I don't know. Feeling really damn stupid right now. HAHA!!!
Now I have to go see what collards are all about. I was in such shock that I was so stupid there. DUH!!!
Shane :-[ :-[ :-[
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Hey, Shane!
"COLLARDS HAVE A GENIUS WITH COMMUNICATION" !! What did I just say to you this morning on the phone, honey????
See??
Love,
Zephie :-*
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Collards ! ;D
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I have no idea what it/they are..but I'm a Collard... sounds about rght, I think I could show those baseball players a few things... ;)
Hugs
Jan
(who has to stop day dreaming and get back to mucking out the paddocks.. :D)
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Hi Jan,
Collards are probably from the cabbage family, but they are darker green and the leaves are looser on the plant. They are best boiled with pork, salt and pepper, but only after the first frost of the season has hit them to sweeten them up. Once they have throroughly stunk up the house being boiled, you strain and chop them and then pop them into a skillet for a few minutes to cook off the liquid. The liquid from their boiling is called pot-liquor and is wonderful for dipping things like cornbread. Delicious as they are, collards tend to create an ever so boisterous and odiferous side-effect that you might imagine. ;)
Ron
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Here is some information on collards Jan.
http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/MV053
I love em! I also like turnip, mustard and beet greens. YUM!
I also like crawdads (crawfish for you initiates), catfish, cornbread and cracklins, butter beans, but wouldn't go near a chitlin if you paid me!
EW!@
HUGS,
Mark
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It is common here to cook turnip greens with turnip roots for a bitter and sweet delicacy. I love them mixed with mustard greens too. Do you eat rutabagas? Some people in the US call them yellow turnips and in the UK they are "swedes". Glad to know New Mexico has southern culture!
R
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I'm a Butter Bean. :o Though I think I'm sort of a cross between Boll Weevil and Armadillo. J.
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I am okra.... fried okra!
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I am one big CHITLIN