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Author Topic: Am I being cheated on?  (Read 2589 times)

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Offline Goon2aGoblin

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  • Posts: 13
Am I being cheated on?
« on: October 27, 2013, 11:14:06 pm »
Hello all, please pardon any mistakes in this as i am typing it on my cruddy smart phone. I didnt know where else to ask this because its kind of a specific scenario. Ill try to keep it short.

Ive been dating my bf for a year and a half. He has been working a second job at a bathhouse as a bartender. A few hours ago i noticed his bag was open on a table in my place in which i saw an anal douche. The reason i'm suddenly suspicious over all this is because he is the top and i am the bottom so i see no reason for him to have it. Ive never seen it before today. I didnt want to bring it up right away mainly because im exhausted and in case this blows up into something i cant deal with it right now. We were hanging out near the bag and i noticed he closed it eventually.

I have always trusted him but this discovery is making me nervous, along with the fact that he is working at a bathhouse. Is this a sign of cheating? I dont know how to bring it up to him, especially if he has it for a health reason and i dont want to accuse him of anything. What do you all think i should do? Thank you for reading.
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"For being good is a fearful occupation; men strain at it and sometimes break in two. I've known a few. You work twice as hard to be a farmer as to be his hog. I suppose it's thinking about trying to be good makes the crack run up the wall one night. A man with high standards, too, the least hair falls on him sometimes wilts his spine. He can't let himself alone, won't lift himself off the hook if he falls just a breath from grace." -Ray Bradbury

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Am I being cheated on?
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2013, 01:31:52 am »
It is absolutely impossible to tell whether your boyfriend is cheating on you or not based on apparatus you discovered in his dufel bag. Based on your posting history, it could well be possible that he brought/bought the thing home for you to use, in case you felt that you were not clean enough during sex.

I think the salient point here, the real question is: Why can't you talk to him about this right off the bat?

I don't routinely go snooping around my boyfriend's stuff, but since we live together, a little discovery here and there is inevitable. And I bring stuff up as soon as I have a question. He's tried about a dozen supplements to increase his sex drive (it's not that low, but mine is basically Bonobo-esque and he wants to make me happy) and when I found them I asked for what purpose they were intended. Not because I suspected anything, but I wanted to be able to help him avoid some of the serious pitfalls that can be associated with OTC supplements when one is also on prescription drugs.

IMO, the fact that you feel hesitant to talk to someone about an unplanned discovery such as this raises it's own red flag, does it not? You might be lied to, of course. But honesty and truth deserve their day in court, do they not?

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Goon2aGoblin

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: Am I being cheated on?
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2013, 08:46:23 am »
You raise a great point, and I'm smiling that you've read other posts by me (how do you access those btw?).  I guess I'm just afraid of accusing him of something along with possible backlash.  I'm a naturally timid person in all aspects of my life.  It has been my downfall too many times to count.  We all have our flaws, though...

Your points are well taken.  I will buck up and talk to him about it today.  Thank you so much for the response.
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"For being good is a fearful occupation; men strain at it and sometimes break in two. I've known a few. You work twice as hard to be a farmer as to be his hog. I suppose it's thinking about trying to be good makes the crack run up the wall one night. A man with high standards, too, the least hair falls on him sometimes wilts his spine. He can't let himself alone, won't lift himself off the hook if he falls just a breath from grace." -Ray Bradbury

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Am I being cheated on?
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2013, 09:03:30 am »
Quote from: Goon2aGoblin on October 28, 2013, 08:46:23 am
You raise a great point, and I'm smiling that you've read other posts by me (how do you access those btw?). 

Go to your profile or anyone's profile and select show own post and it will display all of that persons posting history . You can then select one you want to read and it will take you to that thread where you can read the whole conversation .   
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