POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Rjane on February 21, 2010, 09:39:32 pm
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sometimes.
I know most of the people who post here are infected, and there's a lot to be said for living with aids: the mood swings, self-doubt, in some cases self-hatred. Sadly I have noticed more than a few people in this forum like to pounce on others from time to time. Thus, I only pop in intermittently. Its not nice to see afflicted people pounce on other afflicted people. Afflicted people should UPLIFT oneanother, just something to keep in mind!
Anyway, I hope everyone is and continues to be well. I See you in a few months....
R
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Thanks for stopping by, to tell us that we are too morbid for you to hang out with, but apparently not too morbid, for you to stop in and take a swipe at an entire forum, based on the actions of a few members. And please save the no offense, because offensive is all your post is... period.
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Thanks for throwing a log on the fire before you leave, happy trails amigo!
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Thanks for stopping by, to tell us that we are too morbid for you to hang out with, but apparently not too morbid, for you to stop in and take a swipe at an entire forum, based on the actions of a few members. And please save the no offense, because offensive is all your post is... period.
that's funny. I just got a private message from someone who complimented me for making the post. oh wellz
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Wow. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Thanks for the sweet post, Mr. Negativity. ::)
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Really, one whole message? Let's see what kind of posts you get from the rest of the members, who are not related to you.
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Wow. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. Thanks for the sweet post, Mr. Negativity. ::)
i was making the point that its in poor taste for people in the same boat to attack each other. If you cant see that point, well I am sorry for you.
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Really, one whole message? Let's see what kind of posts you get from the rest of the members, who are not related to you.
you just made my point.
anyway, its late, and my lovely wife, (who is with child), is saying its beddie bye time (and no, neither my wife nor the baby are positive) so i have to run.
Take care.
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The only point I made is that you insulted this entire forum and then you try to play the victim. Maybe, if you had approached the forum, with a real concern, instead of a blatant attack, you may have gotten a better response.
Sorry, the only victims here are those of us who have to watch your post sink to the bottom.
edited to add: FYI everyone who posts in the Living With HIV forum is poz.
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The only point I made is that you insulted this entire forum and then you try to play the victim. Maybe, if you had approached the forum, with a real concern, instead of a blatant attack, you may have gotten a better response.
Sorry, the only victims here are those of us who have to watch your post sink to the bottom.
nighty-nite! ;)
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i was making the point that its in poor taste for people in the same boat to attack each other. If you cant see that point, well I am sorry for you.
so, by being bitchy to the members in the forum you prove that it's rude to be bitchy to one another? Whatever. That's just freaky, rude, oh and bitchy! :D perhaps you should see about getting your meds adjusted. I just don't understand how your rudeness was proving any point except that you were rude. but thanks for playing. now run along home.
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Man I can just imagine what he puts his wife through... poor girl.
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so, by being bitchy to the members in the forum you prove that it's rude to be bitchy to one another? Whatever. That's just freaky, rude, oh and bitchy! :D perhaps you should see about getting your meds adjusted. I just don't understand how your rudeness was proving any point except that you were rude. but thanks for playing. now run along home.
nitey-nite ;D
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Man I can just imagine what he puts his wife through... poor girl.
you have a good night too!
;)
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Nothing like being chastised with a nighty-nite. I will now slither away and lick my wounds.
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Man I can just imagine what he puts his wife through... poor girl.
what a weirdo huh? I still don't understand. He's an ass to everyone in general and thinks that is proving something to us. Huh? I looked back at his posts and don't see anything too odd there. Hey Joe! what am I missing? Who dissed this guy and got him acting out like a jerk. Hopefully a good night sleep (if he ever gets off here and goes to bed like he keeps saying ::)) will help him to see that HE was the negative one stirring up trouble with this post.
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Maybe he likes to troll forums, leave his little treasures and then sit back and watch the excitement. He claims that we should all be uplifting to each other and then he posts his attack. Very strange, but he's not my problem.
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Rjane, that is simply the wrong approach. You don't participate much in these forums and yet you claim that people treat you in a negative way. I did not see any particular negativity to your recent inquiry about having a flat butt. People gave you some tips or comments; others joked lightly. As far as I recall no one threw any nastiness your way.
Starting what I see as no more than a flame war doesn't make you constructive in any way. You are not endearing yourself much with this tactic.
It is sad that, as Pete pointed recently in another thread, these sort of topics get a reaction from different members rather quickly. The time and energy should be spent responding to new members or to those who have legitimate questions, but I'm sure that --as I am not one part of the mean girls or popular cliques around here-- I will probably be either ignored or criticised for saying this. Oh well.
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Rjane, that is simply the wrong approach. You don't participate much in these forums and yet you claim that people treat you in a negative way. I did not see any particular negativity to your recent inquiry about having a flat butt. People gave you some tips or comments; others joked lightly. As far as I recall no one threw any nastiness your way.
Starting what I see as no more than a flame war doesn't make you constructive in any way. You are not endearing yourself much with this tactic.
It is sad that, as Pete pointed recently in another thread, these sort of topics get a reaction from different members rather quickly. The time and energy should be spent responding to new members or to those who have legitimate questions, but I'm sure that --as I am not one part of the mean girls or popular cliques around here-- I will probably be either ignored or criticised for saying this. Oh well.
I signed back in just to say this, and after its said, I am really hitting the sack:
I didnt say someone mistreated me, I said I observed people pounce on each other.
The inbox that I received to this post went like this:
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hi ,and you know i am new ,and i feel the same way this is weird ..the people judge way to much ,and take jabs. my doctor referred this site to me, and when i go back to see her i am going to ask her WHY!! I feel like crap after i am on here ...i am just glad i wasn't the only one who felt this way ..anyways best of health to you .."
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Why is Rjane still hovering on this thread when he clearly said he was going to bed a full 30 minutes ago?
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Negativity causes insomnia .. it's been scientifically proved.. ;)
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The time and energy should be spent responding to new members or to those who have legitimate questions,
I've been posting my ass off (maybe this should have gone in the flat ass thread LOL) to newer members all day, and having a wonderful time. But I still have time to come to threads like this and screw around. :D
Rjane has obviously only been paying attention to one type of thread instead of seeing the totality of what happens in these forums. And he's obviously a bit naive to not think that, just like out in the great big ol' world, these forums are filled with people from everywhere and he's going to see everything. It sure ain't all kumba ya, folks. And if it was, it'd be boring as hell. :D
Love the diversity, Rjane, and ignore the crap that bothers you. YOU may see negativity here; but I have friends and am making more every day thanks to these forums being here. Hopefully, you'll be feeling better next time you come to visit and more like making new friends rather than alienating everyone. ;)
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LOL well fuck you too
that is like saying "I am just posting to say I hate you....no offense"
LEAVE THE FORUM THEN!!
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Wait, wait. We have mean girls cliques? I'm one of the plastics right? I need this. Just give me the affirmation already.
I AM REGINA GEORGE RIGHT?!
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Hellraiser, you are totally Regina George
Boo, you whore
xo
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I am new here. But, as crazy as this sounds, I hope u keep posting. You will see people disagree on here == just like you do in real life. You will also see a lot of love, understanding, compassion and empathy. Take it all in. These forums are about being honest, but they are also about telling people why you feel the way you do and then taking in the whole picture.
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good post Phil
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Thanks Pete -- I was rehearsing it all night :) But, for real, we are all human on here and sometimes emotions get the better of us -- which is okay. Its all about doing our best to be understanding and welcoming.
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I think you could have created the discussion better--taking into account the totality of posts as others said.
I know my feelings were a little hurt when some blamed me for not knowing what meds the hospital was giving me when I was very ill. Others came to my defense, so I figured that is the nature of these forums. Some will say things you don't like and others will show more compassion and see things are often more complex and not so black and white. That is how life is. And, I need a thicker skin to battle this virus. So far, I've gotten more compassion and help from these forums than any negativity. I can see how you'd think some are too negative and I'm sure I'm guilty of it myself. I just think you could have gone about creating that discussion better.
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I just think you could have gone about creating that discussion better.
He was kind of being pressured by the wife to go to bed though, so time was of the essence.
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Wait, wait. We have mean girls cliques? I'm one of the plastics right? I need this. Just give me the affirmation already.
I AM REGINA GEORGE RIGHT?!
Child, you are too new to be Regina George. We both know well who is the Rachel McAdams of these forums ;D. I'd say you are more of a Cady Heron (nice and wholesome, but let us not forget how wicked she turned out to be towards the end).
If I had to be a mean girl type I'd rather be Courtney Alice Shane (Rose McGowan in Jawbreaker) or Heather Chandler (as in "well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?") in the mother of all queen-bees movies.
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Lesson one, with negativity comes positivity {no pun intended}, with good comes bad, with happy comes sad, with tears comes joy, with acceptance comes denial, with yin comes yang, it is the laws of nature the universe.
damn then she comes on here like a real drama queen ranting her tits off of how negative people are but do not contribute to anything, then like an obidiant puppy runs as the dominatrix hit him with the wip on the ass to go to bed............
it is how we deal with critisizm that makes the difference, some can and some can't.
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Morbid? Hate? I missed those parts in rjanes post.
However, I did see someone display a simple emotional and expression of feelings on a particular topic. And once again we how words get taken out of context and twisted. Once again, we see how when somebody expresses something against groupthink they're atacked.
I think quite a few of you in your reply to rjane did nothing but prove what she stated in her op.
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This same sentiment is being expressed in another forum, but with a completely different topic. You're dealing with a large group of people where the reactions will range from the mild to the harsh. Are we only here to give you positive reinforcement? I thought we were just being a community of people linked via disease. It seems like it comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly. If that's a problem for anyone in particular you could always just take the opinions being espoused with a grain of salt as these are people on the internet. I mean we're not as bad as say youtube's users.
The way to gather pretty much all of the users of this site against you however is to accuse the entire group of being "negative" when it's obviously not true. A lot of the reaction you'll get is how you write your topics.
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Rjane you say you don't like negativity and people taking swipes at each other.
So what are you doing??????????????
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I think quite a few of you in your reply to rjane did nothing but prove what she stated in her op.
Most guys take exception to being called "her" or "she" especially when a she tells them when to go to bed.
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I think quite a few of you in your reply to rjane did nothing but prove what she stated in her op.
I think rjane made the OP knowing that it would get those type of replies. That's why some are calling this stirring.
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Most guys take exception to being called "her" or "she" especially when a she tells them when to go to bed.
The fact that a "she" told rjane it was time for bed has very littlle relevance regarding his/her sex. One word...lesbian.
I think a guy who would be "offended" by being called her or she would not choose a name with a female connontation in the first place. But why jump to conclusions, Unless rjane has specifically said to YOU he was offended.
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I think rjane made the OP knowing that it would get those type of replies. That's why some are calling this stirring.
Honestly, anything that goes against groupthink is considered stirring the pot here. Hell, anything I post stirs the pot apparently.
There has to come a time when people can feel free to post their feelings, throughts, ideas, or anything esle within topic without fear of being told to F*** You, or have their words twisted to mean something they didn't actually say.
Again, take the post at face value and treat it as legitimate concern to that person, whether or not you agree. This could have been a legitimate discussion about the particular dynamic of the forums rjane raised.
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Hell, anything I post stirs the pot apparently.
Well gee... you think? A normal person would evaluate why that is perhaps instead of cloaking themselves up in Joan of Arc's execution finery.
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Honestly, anything that goes against groupthink is considered stirring the pot here. Hell, anything I post stirs the pot apparently.
There has to come a time when people can feel free to post their feelings, throughts, ideas, or anything esle within topic without fear of being told to F*** You, or have their words twisted to mean something they didn't actually say.
Again, take the post at face value and treat it as legitimate concern to that person, whether or not you agree. This could have been a legitimate discussion about the particular dynamic of the forums rjane raised.
If he really wanted to open a dialogue (and reading his post tells me he didn't) or express his concerns about what goes on here he could've phrased it much MUCH better and without the accusatory tone.
"I'd like to express my concerns that I feel there is a lot of negativity here sometimes. I enjoy posting on these forums but this sort of thing makes me want to come here less often.
Instead we got (Paraphrased) "You guys are all jerks and you're driving away nice people like me. So I'm just telling you you're being assholes, no offense meant."
Edit: I believe the expression goes you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar?
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The fact that a "she" told rjane it was time for bed has very littlle relevance regarding his/her sex. One word...lesbian.
I think a guy who would be "offended" by being called her or she would not choose a name with a female connontation in the first place. But why jump to conclusions, Unless rjane has specifically said to YOU he was offended.
Well when she posted that she and her wife conceived naturally, I just assumed she was male, but you are right.
Honestly, anything that goes against groupthink is considered stirring the pot here. Hell, anything I post stirs the pot apparently.
Yeah you may be right, but I've also witnessed you ruffle a feather here from time to time. It is said that this is a forum for support, and I find this to be very true however, at the same time it is one for discussion and of course "group think".
You can't expect every person to think the same, then of course, you have all the different variables involved with each of us that may cause a person to be, well in a fucked up mood. Let's not make Miss Jane out to be a victim here, you and I both know the motives behind her post and it had absolutely nothing to do with anything any of us ever said to her.
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Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions."
Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.
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Morbid? Hate? I missed those parts in rjanes post.
However, I did see someone display a simple emotional and expression of feelings on a particular topic. And once again we how words get taken out of context and twisted. Once again, we see how when somebody expresses something against groupthink they're atacked.
I think quite a few of you in your reply to rjane did nothing but prove what she stated in her op.
Dennis, the reason you missed the morbid part and others is that Rjanes edited her post and removed the comments about us being morbid and that we should not take offense to her insults. Her original post included those comments and that is why I replied the way I did. This has nothing to do with "group think", whatever that is and has to do with someone flaming the board intentionally and then not liking that she got caught doing it.
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Rjanes edited her post and removed the comments about us being morbid and that we should not take offense to her insults.
I hate it when people edit for anything besides spelling errors. >:(
changing the post to say things it didn't say before (or removing the comments altogether) is not only "cheating", but it ruins the nearly real-time conversation that's being had here. It also makes later comments seem out-of-place and/or incorrect since the flow of the conversation no longer exists.
last nite rjane wanted to flame and run,
and in so doing became the very sort of person s/he was railing about. Doh! ::)
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Dennis, the reason you missed the morbid part and others is that Rjanes edited her post and removed the comments about us being morbid and that we should not take offense to her insults. Her original post included those comments and that is why I replied the way I did. This has nothing to do with "group think", whatever that is and has to do with someone flaming the board intentionally and then not liking that she got caught doing it.
Rjane has employed post-hoc editing to mislead people in his threads previously and been repeatedly asked not to do this. It's one thing to change a spelling error, it's another to wildly edit what you stated.
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Dennis, the reason you missed the morbid part and others is that Rjanes edited her post and removed the comments about us being morbid and that we should not take offense to her insults. Her original post included those comments and that is why I replied the way I did. This has nothing to do with "group think", whatever that is and has to do with someone flaming the board intentionally and then not liking that she got caught doing it.
Thank you for explaining that, Joe. I also wondered what was going on as I didn't see this thread when it was first posted.
It's always a good idea to use the quote function when replying to controversial posts. A person can't edit the quote in your post and will have to face up to what they originally wrote.
Rjane, I surprised you attacked the very people who helped you through the conception of you child. People never cease to amaze me. It's sad.
Ann
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Well as I see it sometimes a person just has to lash out to someone !
If this helped Rjane get through the night well then better for her/him !
I have always thought people here are way to quick to pounce !
Yes we must be polite , BUT this is an OUTLET for EMOTIONS !
I like spireted discussions .
Hope all are well .
Carl
P.S. It was rude .
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Dennis, the reason you missed the morbid part and others is that Rjanes edited her post and removed the comments about us being morbid and that we should not take offense to her insults. Her original post included those comments and that is why I replied the way I did. This has nothing to do with "group think", whatever that is and has to do with someone flaming the board intentionally and then not liking that she got caught doing it.
I apologige.
The post I read didn't sound like what many were making it out to be. I did not realize the origiinal post had been dramatically edited.
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I hate it when people edit for anything besides spelling errors. >:(
changing the post to say things it didn't say before (or removing the comments altogether) is not only "cheating", but it ruins the nearly real-time conversation that's being had here. It also makes later comments seem out-of-place and/or incorrect since the flow of the conversation no longer exists.
last nite rjane wanted to flame and run,
and in so doing became the very sort of person s/he was railing about. Doh! ::)
AMEN mikie........if you posted it, then you should own it, if you don't want to own what you posted, then don't post it..... it's that simple :-*
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Well gee... you think? A normal person would evaluate why that is perhaps instead of cloaking themselves up in Joan of Arc's execution finery.
Come on Philly. Like you don't stir the pot; intentionally at times?
Like some here, I don't try to cloak anything. With me, what you see is what you get. You either like it, or you don't. Either way, I'll sleep fine tonight and life will go on.
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Thank you for explaining that, Joe. I also wondered what was going on as I didn't see this thread when it was first posted.
It's always a good idea to use the quote function when replying to controversial posts. A person can't edit the quote in your post and will have to face up to what they originally wrote.
Rjane, I surprised you attacked the very people who helped you through the conception of you child. People never cease to amaze me. It's sad.
Ann
and to Ann I didnt attack you, i just commented that people tend to attack each other in this forum
Also, I am male
second, below is another inbox I received from a poster:
"
IMPORTANT: Remember, this is just a notification. Please do not reply to this email.
The message they sent you was:
hey,
i don't have hiv but i read this forum somewhat regularly and i agree with you, no contest, that the majority of posters here are, on average, a bunch of assholes. they look for any reason to snap at someone else and almost every longer post devolves into petty bitching. even people who had been recently infected, someone will find a way to scold and scorn him. i think they want to try hard to prove theyve accepted what's happened ot them, so anyone who shows resistance in adopting that policy needs to be beat down for daring to think disclosure is always necessary, or the person who transmitted to them is at higher fault (HUGE bullshit factor with a lot of posters here). anyway, dont feel bad, youre totally right.
Reply to this Personal Message here: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?action=pm;sa=send;f=inbox;pmsg=147342;quote;u=15166"
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I'll be happy to post some PM's I received about you Rjane, though they're not particularly favorable.
Of course, what one receives in a PM is useless on a message board but that's beside the point.
The thing I find particularly galling in this instance, is that Rjane has historically only (or at least 95% of the time, I'm just going by memory) participated on AIDSmeds when he has a need. He starts threads, asks for information, but then never gives back to the community in terms of support. Yet here he is criticizing the community as a whole.
I accept that I have my own faults on message boards and that there are substantial amount of people that don't appreciate my sense of humor (though there are plenty that do), but an on line support group is essentially a two way street. If you sit there only to extract information and never give anything back, you're acting like a leech. For the leech then to suddenly exclaim that the sucked blood tastes bad is... well, rather unsavory.
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I'll be happy to post some PM's I received about you Rjane, though they're not particularly favorable.
Of course, what one receives in a PM is useless on a message board but that's beside the point.
The thing I find particularly galling in this instance, is that Rjane has historically only (or at least 95% of the time, I'm just going by memory) participated on AIDSmeds when he has a need. He starts threads, asks for information, but then never gives back to the community in terms of support. Yet here he is criticizing the community as a whole.
I accept that I have my own faults on message boards and that there are substantial amount of people that don't appreciate my sense of humor (though there are plenty that do), but an on line support group is essentially a two way street. If you sit there only to extract information and never give anything back, you're acting like a leech. For the leech then to suddenly exclaim that the sucked blood tastes bad is... well, rather unsavory.
your claims are bogus. just ask dingowarrior. I sought him out as he and his wife conceived naturally too, and I keep him posted on my wife's pregnancy. I've also conversed, privately, with more than a few others who have sent me private messages about trying to conceive, good doctors in my area, services and the like: not everything needs to be done in public, and its a shame you made the false judgment that I take and never give. Its a ridiculous statement, one that made me laugh out loud. As far as the inboxes about me, whatevs. I still wear a smile!
My life is great, frankly. 11 years in, still on the same meds, undetectable, no resistance, great spouse, kid on the way, new home, etc etc.
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I apologige.
The post I read didn't sound like what many were making it out to be. I did not realize the origiinal post had been dramatically edited.
LOL DRAMATICALLY EDITED? I SAID THAT THE ATTACKS ON POSTERS BY OTHER POSTERS IS MORBID! IS THAT SO BAD? SHEESH!
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LOL DRAMATICALLY EDITED? I SAID THAT THE ATTACKS ON POSTERS BY OTHER POSTERS IS MORBID! IS THAT SO BAD? SHEESH!
If it's not so bad, why did you edit it out, and why are you now being defensive and typing in all caps?
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I sense some mental issues going on here that none of us have been made aware of.,,, :) ;) :D ;D
Edited to add: winking face, laughing face, and da grin.
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If it's not so bad, why did you edit it out, and why are you now being defensive and typing in all caps?
I typed in all caps, not out of outrage, but incredulity. Also, I edited it out because I felt, after writing it, "morbid" would not help the forum. Not that I have to explain myself to you because I dont, but to clairify.
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I sense some mental issues going on here that none of us have been made aware of.,,, :) ;) :D ;D
Edited to add: winking face, laughing face, and da grin.
This is why I lurk in the forum more than i participate: Sooner or later, people start to debase people. I wont entertain it. at the end of my original post, I wished everyone good health. No one said anything about that, they just focused on the perceived negative and created more negativity, which is my point exactly. You may proceed and call me whatever you like. :P
Have a great one!
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typo
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This is why I lurk in the forum more than i participate: Sooner or later, people start to debase people.
"Debase" you? I don't have a need to "debase" you... you are doing a splendid job on your own.
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This is why I lurk in the forum more than i participate: Sooner or later, people start to debase people. I wont entertain it.
So why start it ??? ???
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This is why I lurk in the forum more than i participate: Sooner or later, people start to debase people. I wont entertain it. at the end of my original post, I wished everyone good health. No one said anything about that, they just focused on the perceived negative and created more negativity. My point exactly You may proceed and call me whatever you like.
Have a great one!
"No one said anything about that..." I'll say something about it. FAIL!~You throw a blanket attack at the members of the forums and then end it up with a trite wish that everyone have good health and we are supposed to feel all warm and tingly???
Go back to lurking.
-Will
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at the end of my original post, I wished everyone good health. No one said anything about that, they just focused on the perceived negative and created more negativity.
:D dude you can't write a post that flames the whole forum and then say "have a happy day" at the end and think that mitigates the negative comments in your post. ::)
I think that post of yours last night was hateful, negative and hypocritical (since being hateful and negative were what you were railing against). You should have just come back today and apologized for painting us all as negative with that big brush; instead you're still acting like the jerk you were last night. But Good Health to you buddy ;) (see? didn't me wishing you that make everything all better? ROFL)
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Rjane, I'm just curious -- did you ever finish getting ADAP to pay for varicose vein surgery?
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sometimes.
I know most of the people who post here are infected, and there's a lot to be said for living with aids: the mood swings, self-doubt, in some cases self-hatred. Sadly I have noticed more than a few people in this forum like to pounce on others from time to time. Thus, I only pop in intermittently. Its not nice to see afflicted people pounce on other afflicted people. Afflicted people should UPLIFT oneanother, just something to keep in mind!
Anyway, I hope everyone is and continues to be well. I See you in a few months....
R
here is an inbox I got this morning, one of many:
IMPORTANT: Remember, this is just a notification. Please do not reply to this email.
The message they sent you was:
hey,
i don't have hiv but i read this forum somewhat regularly and i agree with you, no contest, that the majority of posters here are, on average, a bunch of assholes. they look for any reason to snap at someone else and almost every longer post devolves into petty bitching. even people who had been recently infected, someone will find a way to scold and scorn him. i think they want to try hard to prove theyve accepted what's happened ot them, so anyone who shows resistance in adopting that policy needs to be beat down for daring to think disclosure is always necessary, or the person who transmitted to them is at higher fault (HUGE bullshit factor with a lot of posters here). anyway, dont feel bad, youre totally right.
Reply to this Personal Message here: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?action=pm;sa=send;f=inbox;pmsg=147342;quote;u=15166"
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Rjane, I'm just curious -- did you ever finish getting ADAP to pay for varicose vein surgery?
Nice try but I never had the surgery. Wore compression stockings for 2 months and stopped putting the laptop on my lap and the vein kinda disappeared. Added to that, I landed a plum job shortly thereafter
Thanks for asking though.
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Nice try but I never had the surgery. Wore compression stockings for 2 months and stopped putting the laptop on my lap and the vein kinda disappeared. Added to that, I landed a plum job shortly thereafter
Thanks for asking though.
That is simply fantastic. Have a lovely, beautiful, pleasant, harmonious, amazing, blessed day.
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You know Rjane........there is a wonderful IGNORE button on every thread in the forum, perhaps maybe you should use it, if YOU don't like too much negativity, at the very least, please don't start a fight in this forum, that you cannot EVER win, it's not very productive now is it?
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You know Rjane........there is a wonderful IGNORE button on every thread in the forum, perhaps maybe you should use it, if YOU don't like too much negativity, at the very least, please don't start a fight in this forum, that you cannot EVER win, it's not very productive now is it?
Win? I simply made a point which I substantiated and continue to stand by. Im not so childish that I see this in terms of "win or lose." When I come to this forum I keep in the back of my mind that many are not as fortunate as I am, are in a lot of pain, and thus may be hostile. Me? I'm good.
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here is an inbox I got this morning, one of many:
IMPORTANT: Remember, this is just a notification. Please do not reply to this email.
The message they sent you was:
hey,
i don't have hiv but i read this forum somewhat regularly and i agree with you, no contest, that the majority of posters here are, on average, a bunch of assholes. they look for any reason to snap at someone else and almost every longer post devolves into petty bitching. even people who had been recently infected, someone will find a way to scold and scorn him. i think they want to try hard to prove theyve accepted what's happened ot them, so anyone who shows resistance in adopting that policy needs to be beat down for daring to think disclosure is always necessary, or the person who transmitted to them is at higher fault (HUGE bullshit factor with a lot of posters here). anyway, dont feel bad, youre totally right.
Reply to this Personal Message here: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?action=pm;sa=send;f=inbox;pmsg=147342;quote;u=15166"
You know, you've got a real flair for overwrought high drama considering how you're a straight guy.
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Ah cool you're good. I'm fabulous too, thanks for asking.
My dear you are so right, all these catty, b*tchy negative suffering pathetic aids victims. One tries to do ones bit, liven the party, lift the spirits of the downtrodden, but there's only so much that can be done, isn't that so, dear. So very glad you are here for moral support. Dreadful, dreadful. Dreadful people all around, thank god we only deal with them once and awhile, when our self-love lags.
Ah, we do have it good, don't we dear. Happy Endings for us, in this tawdry Jacqueline Suzanne novel that is AIDSMEDS.
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Miss Philicia
Member
Online
Posts: 11,724
the legend
Re: There is too much negativity in this forum ***UPDATE***
« Reply #70 on: Today at 02:28:06 pm »
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This user is currently ignored.
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Win? I simply made a point which I substantiated and continue to stand by. Im not so childish that I see this in terms of "win or lose." When I come to this forum I keep in the back of my mind that many are not as fortunate as I am, are in a lot of pain, and thus may be hostile. Me? I'm good.
But, YOU are the Author of this thread, I'm glad that your good, but what you posted tells me that your NOT so good about something, I'm glad to know that you don't feel hostile......that's a + :)
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But, YOU are the Author of this thread, I'm glad that your good, but what you posted tells me that your NOT so good about something, I'm glad to know that you don't feel hostile......that's a + :)
You're right, I am not good about something: the fact that afflicted people sometimes relentlessly bring each other further down while in this forum. That's a downer for sure: I hate unkindness. Very perceptive of you. Kudos
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Miss Philicia
Member
Online
Posts: 11,724
the legend
Re: There is too much negativity in this forum ***UPDATE***
« Reply #70 on: Today at 02:28:06 pm »
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This user is currently ignored.
::grabs my box of Kleenex::
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Miss Philicia
Member
Online
Posts: 11,724
the legend
Re: There is too much negativity in this forum ***UPDATE***
« Reply #70 on: Today at 02:28:06 pm »
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This user is currently ignored.
MissP ignored??GASP!!! *clutches the pearls*
Only 50 more ignores to go until you completely sanitize this thread to your liking. Please continue to update us as you go.
-Will
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You know, you've got a real flair for overwrought high drama considering how you're a straight guy.
:D ;)
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MissP ignored??GASP!!! *clutches the pearls*
Only 50 more ignores to go until you completely sanitize this thread to your liking. Please continue to update us as you go.
-Will
I;ve edited out the name of the poster the sender refers to in the pm:
(No subject)
« Sent to: Rjane on: Today at 02:38:48 pm »
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Hi there i just want to offer you my support. Your initial comment is true some(not all ) you said on here like to jump on people any chance they get. They have now twisted your comment trying to say you are painting them all with the same brush. I have thought exactly what you said from the first time i came on here, i was quite shocked to be honest . Some people who come here looking for support must get totally demoralised by some of the mean twisted cunts on here main culprit [redacted] stupid fuckwit . (But everyone knows that about him for fuck sake he even changes his ugly picture everyweek how pathetic.
At the same time the large majority of the posters are kind considerate and very knowledgeable its just a shame the handfull of attention seekers have to spoil it .
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There is too much negativity in this thread
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I;ve edited out the name of the poster the sender refers to in the pm:
(No subject)
« Sent to: Rjane on: Today at 02:38:48 pm »
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Hi there i just want to offer you my support. Your initial comment is true some(not all ) you said on here like to jump on people any chance they get. They have now twisted your comment trying to say you are painting them all with the same brush. I have thought exactly what you said from the first time i came on here, i was quite shocked to be honest . Some people who come here looking for support must get totally demoralised by some of the mean twisted cunts on here main culprit [redacted] stupid fuckwit . (But everyone knows that about him for fuck sake he even changes his ugly picture everyweek how pathetic.
At the same time the large majority of the posters are kind considerate and very knowledgeable its just a shame the handfull of attention seekers have to spoil it .
Red Alert! the "C" word and the "F" words are starting to fly! Me senses a lockdown coming. Countdown commencing....10-9-8-7-6-5-4....
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Red Alert! the "C" word and the "F" words are starting to fly! Me senses a lockdown coming. Countdown commencing....10-9-8-7-6-5-4....
Yes I think its about time this thread be locked. I am glad it came to be as this post serves as a shining example of that which I spoke. It should be clear to any who had a doubt that I am correct.
Mods, please lock this post. Thanks!
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I really have to say as a newcomer to the Forum and someone who posted on here earlier that people are entitled to share honestly - I also think Rjane (and do hope you go back over the entire thread) that your comments have been the most debasing and hurtful. I am new here, don't have a history with you, don't know you -- but from reading your comments you seem to "elevate" yourself and many times in a very passive aggressive manner above others -- saying how "less fortunate others are" and other condesending remarks -- then, you post PMs that are sent to you (by the way they are called Personal/Private Messages for a reason) that are littered with harsh language and think that keeps you innocent? As the originater of this thread and someone who is posting PMs with harsh language like you have -- it is you who should be ashamed of yourself. I have looked back at your history of threads and there are a lot of great ones in there -- of you asking questions and giving guidance. I hope it gets back to that. I, for one - as a newcomer - have to say that it is you have opened with negativity (and it was not substantiated at all when you opened your post) and it is you who have put forth the most negative responses (including the profanity laced extracts from PMs you are including in your posts).
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Yes I think its about time this thread be locked. I am glad it came to be as this post serves as a shining example of that which I spoke. It should be clear to any who had a doubt that I am correct.
Mods, please lock this post. Thanks!
Why the hell would one start a thread and ask that it be locked? Isn't that a bit like calling somebody on the phone, calling them a name, and hanging up? You know, like getting the last word in an all.
Seriously, I may not post as much as many, but I have probably 3000 total posts (between this and the old forum software). I think that I've made maybe a handful or so posts that have ever stirred up as much negativity as you have here. So what, you got a few emails from folks supporting your 'cause'. That doesn't mean squat, 'cept that there are others as 'lost' as the OP seems to be.
I generally offer as much, or more, to a thread as I take from it. Perhaps, in time, you'll be at a place where you can do the same.
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I really have to say as a newcomer to the Forum and someone who posted on here earlier that people are entitled to share honestly - I also think Rjane (and do hope you go back over the entire thread) that your comments have been the most debasing and hurtful. I am new here, don't have a history with you, don't know you -- but from reading your comments you seem to "elevate" yourself and many times in a very passive aggressive manner above others -- saying how "less fortunate others are" and other condesending remarks -- then, you post PMs that are sent to you (by the way they are called Personal/Private Messages for a reason) that are littered with harsh language and think that keeps you innocent? As the originater of this thread and someone who is posting PMs with harsh language like you have -- it is you who should be ashamed of yourself. I have looked back at your history of threads and there are a lot of great ones in there -- of you asking questions and giving guidance. I hope it gets back to that. I, for one - as a newcomer - have to say that it is you have opened with negativity (and it was not substantiated at all when you opened your post) and it is you who have put forth the most negative responses (including the profanity laced extracts from PMs you are including in your posts).
riiiiiiight. and you make no mention of the fact that someone within the post inuslted my masculinity, someone alluded to mental problems, etc.
Look, if you want to make an indictment of me to solidify your place here, be my guest. I dont really care. Its shocking that people have time to go back and review EVERY post I wrote, bring up old posts, whether good or bad, and investigate me. I mean, dont you people have lives? Do you really have the time to go back and look at all my posts in order to form an opinion and then make it public? That's incredibly lame, and its also incredibly lame that within this post you keep making the statement "i am new here I am new here" first agreeing with me somewhat and then disagreeing with me. It appears you are the new kid at school eager to fit it and if you are over 16, thats a sad mindframe to have
That said, I asked for this post to be locked and I hope it is. The negatives are beginning to thrive on this.
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What I get from this thread, and the author:
He/She is married to a woman: = "All you HIV/AIDS queers are deplorable and morbid!" (implied)
He is very proud of his/her "natural conception": = Take that you unadulterated perverted queers! (blatant)
He/She cannot stand that they are HIV+ and take solace from admirers who agree: = PM refrenced and quoted from an admirer who is HIV-. (blatant)
All in all, what a waste of time for anyone who is recently HIV+, and anyone who has lived with it for any length of time, including RJANE.
Loads of hate and disdain in the OP, and I have no idea why the admin allows such flame baiting now. I could never do that before I was banned for picking on one of the posters in this very thread who has also been guilty of the same thing. Things are indeed changing. :-*
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Why the hell would one start a thread and ask that it be locked? Isn't that a bit like calling somebody on the phone, calling them a name, and hanging up? You know, like getting the last word in an all. [/quoye]
Its devolved or cant you see that? Thus, I want it locked.
That you think people who feel as I do on this topic and that they are "lost" is not really important to me. Now you have a good one!
:-)
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LOL DRAMATICALLY EDITED? I SAID THAT THE ATTACKS ON POSTERS BY OTHER POSTERS IS MORBID! IS THAT SO BAD? SHEESH!
You sir, are a blatant liar and you removed far more than just saying this forum was morbid. What kind of person are you, to flame this board and then constantly lie about what you did? As to those PMs, I doubt they are real, as you seem to have no problem in manufacturing your own truth and revising your posts.
Better the world to think you a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
edited to add: Let this thread die, as nothing good can come from it.
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Locking this charming thread up.
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Well gee folks, I have a life outside these forums. Ain't that a shocker?
Anyway, I was out living my life when this tread took a serious turn for the worst. After Tim locked this thread, Rjane saw fit to star another. To say basically the same thing. Another moderator saw said thread and threw it in the bin.
But that's not a good enough response.
Rjane, you are being given a time out. Don't like it or don't like our community? Well mate, you're free to find another. Maybe you and your PM mates can get enough dosh together to subsidise enough bandwidth to create your own forum. Good luck and best wishes!
Ann